How he stay so Fre$h in a world so sour?

Birthday cake from Cake Man Raven #BKMJ on Twitpic

2010-08-29T21:04:00.000-04:00

Birthday cake from Cake Man Raven #BKMJ on Twitpic

testing testing

2010-08-27T14:30:00.000-04:00

hi everyone

Now that's what I call MUSIC

2010-03-30T11:41:00.000-04:00

This video is so epic, It's going to be a smash hit mark my words. This is the usher the people want to see not that Trash he did with Nicki ~~Death~~ Minaj. Enjoy the video.

Privacy

2010-03-30T10:54:00.000-04:00

NOTE: This is an old post in which I had to delete due to about 90% of the comments being spam.

Privacy - The state of being free from being observed or disturbed by other people

In life how much privacy do we really have? My guess would be slim to none. Mostly everything you do in life is documented from medical records to Grades. Once we sign up for a Social networking site such as this twitter, facebook we basically forfeit all that privacy, we are basically saying hey world look at me interact with me, so how can one complain about privacy?

What we do we feel when our privacy is violated and you say I need to basically have somethings to myself do we turn off our Internet service, Cancel cell phones plans, remain solitude in our rooms from the world?

What aspects in your life should remain private thoughts? Feelings? Emotions? Fears? Devices?

What do you do when in a relationship and all of those are forced to be exposed to your partner and if you decline you are hiding something, is our life as private as we want and how can we go about getting it back to such even living in a world where we feel the need to be connected so much?

Mass Hysteria.

2010-03-30T10:48:00.000-04:00

I'm sure Ms. Badu New she would make an impact when she decided to Bare all in her new music video. I'm not sure if any of us be it bloggers, twitterians fans social media junkies as a whole knew the impact that this video would have. I myself Am not the biggest Erykah badu fan, I've found some of her work "too strange" and far out there for my liking. However as you grew older you want to expand your mind and learn to appreciate different genres of music. With that being side I gave Erykah's Latest LP, New Amerykah Part II(Which is in stores today) a chance and I was blown away. The video Expresses many issues that I think are irrelevant in today teachings, We are scared to evolve with times, If not traditional(safe) Most are afraid, Most of all masses fear what they don't understand. With that said enjoy the video, for those of you who were under a rock and didn't see it yet.

Take off the Blazer, Loosen up the tie....

2010-03-29T21:49:00.002-04:00

Hello everyone!!! How it's going, Officially think I'm ready to make my triumphant return like Jordan in '95 Ma$e in '04 or Hov in '06. Wish me luck.

YGP Part VIII : Parent Hood

2010-01-06T23:22:00.000-05:00

How about them Knicks?

2010-01-04T17:57:00.000-05:00

So glad My knicks are doing well this season, we still stink but we are much improved from last season. I think we will make the playoffs this year and keep the adrenaline flowing for when we sign lebron James this summer. I can dream right?

Tweeting has killed my motivation

2010-01-04T00:02:00.000-05:00

There was a time before twitter when I would look forward to opening my Macbook, Opening Mozilla and heading to blogger to post a new entry. These days I dont have the same routine, Seeing as now I have an iphone/Blackberry tweeting has become my fascnation to jog down mental thoughts whereas blogger took that place before. With any good thing I feel like I should limit my tweetage and come back to my roots. I'm suprised I even still have followers But I need to get back and Blog things that go through my mind, read others post and get back to that artistic swing. Anyone else having this dilemma

Happy Holidays

2009-12-06T19:09:00.001-05:00

I'm starting to realize I don't pay nearly as much attention to my blog as I should. I just want to wish everyone a happy and safe holidays

YGP: Part VII J.O Fresh aka Daddy Fresh

2009-10-02T04:11:00.008-04:00

Jordan Lance Holmes Jr, Born August 22 2009 1:14 Pm

DOG, Me and YOU are not the SAME!

2009-10-02T04:05:00.001-04:00

I hate when someone who knows absolutely nothing about you comes in with a pre-notion of how you are and are SUPPOSED to act.Where the hell do you know me from? WHERE? Take the time to get to know someone Feel their pain, struggle, story sacarifice whatever the case may be, You can always relate to someone a million times over if you shut the hell up an feel them out before you go judging.

Already Home

2009-10-02T04:04:00.001-04:00

No matter how crazy the world may seem or crazy life may get it seems like Home is always that one place that can comfort you and take away all of your worries so what do you do when Home is no longer the home you once had and have grown accustomed to loving and feeling protection in?

1.Cum 2.Inital Entrance 3. Sex (Sampler)

2009-10-02T03:59:00.001-04:00

Before I share my thoughts, Discuss the title and what you think it means?....

Im already Home...

2009-09-30T22:03:00.003-04:00

Winter is here which makes my triumphant return to my baby(the blog) I have so much on my mind and I'm ready to let all of you share in it with me. Welcome me back LOL

A-Train Comedy

2009-08-07T16:20:00.009-04:00

If you've ever been to NYC at some point you've taken public transportation. Well one of the most famous transportation methods in the city is the IRT aka train. There are many different subway lines but by far the most Famous is the A-train. The A train runs from Far Rockaway Queens, through Brooklyn and finally ending in the Inwood section of Manhattan. The A train is great because it so convient to bounce from borough to borough, however due to the large numbers of users you are bound to see SOME WILD things. Due to my car being out of commission I've been using the A train more than I have at any period in my life. On the train you will see people who dance for money, sing, Sell sandwiches and juice, high school kids who sell candy for their "basketball team" and of course the one weirdo who talks to themselves making a scene. However I was able to capture some of the comedy for my followers who might be in other parts of the country and can't enjoy!!!

YGP : PART V

2009-08-07T14:28:00.034-04:00

I been away for a LOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGG time and I miss blogging, Honestly I should've lost all my followers because I havent been doing my part as a good blogger. Like any true blogger I shall make amends with a dope post so with out further due I present to you.

IPhone love hate

2009-07-09T16:37:00.002-04:00

On June 19 I like many other fickle impusle buyers ran to their local AT&T store and purchased an iPhone. I had been eyeing one since it's inital release In 2007 but I was still infatuated with my blackberry so I stayed with the good people at research in motion. However with all the app comercials and viability I couldn't fight the urge any longer.

This phone is a beast of a device. The screen, response time and user friendly interface is amazing. However I was really disappointed in the lack of features on the so caled king of smart phones.

1.NO MMS seriously how can a phone with as many features as thing not have mms

2. Battery life the battery on the 3gs is horrible my blackberry would sometime hold up for a whole 16 hrs. However the iPhone if being used cannot withstand more than a good 6-7 hrs without needing a charge if using 3g and push notification hopefully with the update coming later this summer a strong battery will be enact

3. Service I know this isn't an apple problem more of AT&T however leaving verizon to come to AT&T was a big down grade and I'm very displeased with how weak the network is and I live in a major
city like new York so imagine if I was in chatanoga Tennessee

However for all these faults I'm Hanging in there because this is a special device and un matched on the smartphone market right now I only wish the storm was able to do what the iPhone is capable of doing and I wouldve kept my service who am I kidding I'm slowing become an apple fan boy

Stressed

2009-07-09T16:24:00.001-04:00

Lately I been under a lot of stress don't get me Wrong I love every moment I'm alive however at times the world can place a big burden on you where you just need to woo sa and take deep breaths I find myself doing that very frequently and it sucks.

Sometimes I wish people were more understanding and considerate of other feeling instead of always venting and bitching abt irrevelant things that don't help situations only make them worse.

Although it's summertime I'm having a ton of fun but when the alcholol is gone and my friends are gone Its back to that feeling that life is so crzy right now. Just so many emotions going through my brain I know this blog is eveywhere just needed a second to vent

I'm alive.

2009-06-08T21:42:00.002-04:00

I just wanted to say hello to everyone and let everyone know that I'm fine. I been doing a lot of things and haven't had much time to sit around and blog but I'm going to try and get a few in occasionally. Summers here in NYC which means a lot of BBQ, Block parties, Big bottles and Bullshitting on the block. I've been tweeting and facebooking a lot and been neglecting everyone's blog but I promise I will show love to everyone who shows me love and hell even some to the haters. Toodles!!!!!

Twitter

NYC Nightlife

2009-05-25T21:40:00.005-04:00

Henz: YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Me: What's good boy?
Henz: Aint shit! You coming to the party tonight?
Me: Yeah, I'm in there
Henz: 8-)
Me: Who going?
Henz: Me, Webb, Skate, Reem, Junez
Me: Say No more, going to suit up now

Now that might be a weird conversation to most but that's how me and my friend talk before we get ready to hit a party or event. However every time there comes that moment of realization that I don't really want to go. Your sitting there saying why wouldn't you want to go. Well 1) monkey doesn't like when I party 2) Most parties are the same, Same music, Same crowd, Same people, Same vibe 3) I usually go home with an empty wallet and a stain on my polo or kicks smudged :-/
I like partying with my friends because when all of us are together theres nothing like it. Liquor flowing, all of us dancing, blackberries out "Networking" and everybody just escaping the BS of the day to day grind for a few hours. However NYC parties make you not want to go to them.

WANNA BE'S
In case you haven't noticed NYC is the Fashion Mecca of the world, so that means every NYC resident is a CERTIFIED fashion guru or so it seems. At parties you usually Find two groups of People The "Overly trying to Hard" or "The Right Now Crowd". Lets classify, Overly trying to hard are the people who rock a "mink", "$1000 hat", "$10000shirt", "$30000 watch" and prada sneakers, this person usually plays the wall all night looking extra cool not wanting to ruin there expensive garments and does not want to be bumped in an overly crowded environment :-/ "The right now" is a person Who have on every designer that is cool right now and wearing all of them at the same time, "Keri Hilson Hair cut", "Plaid Shirt", "Big Door Knocker earrings" "Star tattoos in place" "booty shorty like beyonce" "Heels" and "Louis vuitton Damier Hand bag" To fly to dance and way advanced to be spoken too :-/

BALLERS
Ballers are people who do it big in every spectrum of life big house, big car, big bank account however in NYC complete opposite. Section 8 apt, Hoopty and no bank account yet 2 bottles of rose moet and the latest designers, In every picture to show that he was able to afford a bottle that cost more than your paycheck knowing that he wont be able to eat or go out because he spent his whole check on a bottle :-/

PRICES
as usual NYC is overpriced with anything I remember spending 40 to get in a club one time and didn't even get a complimentary drink, picture, coat check or anything. Not to mention if I drive I have to pay for parking, then my coat, then wait in line only to dish out 40 bucks then when I get in the party and want to enjoy myself I have to spend 10-20 dollars on a cup that is watered down and filled with a ton of ice and only a little liquor :-/

All in all NYC parties are OK, However DO NOT BELIEVE the hype. If you don't believe me check You know dead azz wrong and you will see what I'm talking about.

Voicemail.

2009-05-25T21:23:00.003-04:00

Hi, You've reached 917 555 3210, leave a message.

"Turn my swag on" comes on and plays its and entirety

Hello? Whats Good? Nah? I'm just chilling.....

Since the emergence of cell phones the greatest thing has been the voicemail, the voicemail is great because if you miss a really important call you can check the message out and get a synopsis of whats going on. Also works vice verse if it's someone you really do not care to speak to you can send them your voicemail. However with any good thing in life someone can turn a excellent thing into a horrible invention.

My absolute voicemail pet peeve is when you someone calls you and you call them back but you don't know who it is so you reach the voicemail hoping to get a name, SSN, Birth sign anything and the person just states their number like seriously why would you say you've reached the #, DUH I know I reached the # I called it. How hard is it to say Hi you reached Jessie @ 917 555 3210 and I'm unable to take your call leave a message?

In 2000 when i first got a cell phone it was cool to have a whole Jayz or Jarule song playing because you wanted your friends to hear how cool you are or at least thought you were. But in 2009 NO GROWN MAN/WOMAN should have Swag surfing or Turn my swag on playing for 3-4 Min's and still not identifying who you are. However nothing is worse than....

You have to be extremely bored or Extremely corny to think that pretending to be trick someone in believing that you really answered the phone is cool. I often wonder what goes on in the mind of people, I called my boy the other day to ask him where something was located because I realized I was talking to a scripted voicemail boy o boy did I feel like an asshole. Just like with the Passenger etiquette post there should also be Voicemail etiquette.

Birthday Sex.

2009-05-09T14:08:00.005-04:00

The #1 song in the country or so it seems because you hear it everywhere is Birthday sex. I like other Americans love sex, I occasionally have it with my girlfriend and enjoy it. Last year on my bday(9-29) Monkey and I had Birthday sex, she went out her way to wear some sexy 2 piece something from fredricks of hollywood, the moet and hpnotic helped increase the sexual tension that night which made the sex EXCELLENTE, Now in years past I've had birthday sex and it was no different from any other sex. Now my question is what makes birthday sex any different from regular sex, is it because its your birthday you should get special treatment and make the sex better or that your other sexual encounters. It's sad to know that as a Man if you have to wait for great sex until your birthday would hurt a lot. I think all sex should be birthday sex-esque. What your take on this tho?

FTR Make up sex is actually the best, I sometime pick fights just for that!

Ink.

2009-05-07T19:58:00.002-04:00

As a kid growing up in the 90's tattoos were a thing for rockers and rebellious outlaws, Today tatts have becoming the new piercings. I remember getting my first piercing back in 7th grade and feeling independent, then I saw Jayz with both his ear pierced so I "Secretly" got my other ear pierced. Looking back on that situation makes me laugh. Today I have 5 tattoos all of which I got under the age of 20, I am 22 now. I Got my first tattoo at 18 like everyone else, then followed up a few months later and so on. Now today I see people getting tattoo's like clothes. No thought process just "oh this might look cute" then waa-laa marked for life with Rey rey, Stars, butterflies, eyes or some other random bullshit. For the life of me I can't fathom the thoughts running through a person head when they get their hands tattooed, neck or FACE. The first impression is always the best but if I see a dude with a hand tattoo and his neck tatted, I'm thinking thug because 1) what kind of "important" job/career could you have with $$ tattooed on your hand 2)Your money must not stretch far if you need $$ tatted on you. Just like any other art form something can be dated very fast, 9 years there were very few tattoo parlors around now they are everywhere its almost like stop in for a morning coffee head next door to get some fresh ink.

Older people i.e grandparents, parents have never been to fond of tattoos or understand the purpose however body art is good when in moderation. Some tattoos aren't meant to be, if you have your name tattooed on your arm in script get that removed, if you have cherries or a strawberry on your waistline get that removed, MOST of ALL if you know anyone with several ex's names on their body tell them to kill themselves. As pop cultures continues it takeover of the world don't expect the tattoo phase to go anywhere. Remember tatt's are a great way to express yourself, just MAKE sure they have a meaning and purpose and something that wont look foolish when your 70(diva on your left breast?)

Allow me to re-INTRODUCE myself....

2009-05-03T22:00:00.004-04:00

Hello all. May marks the 6 month Anniversary of "How he stay so fre$H in a world so sour?", I must say I'm impressed with the reception I've been given by my followers, People who comment on all my blogs with both positive and negative feedback. I know my blog isn't as cool as others with the latest Fashion updates, celebrity gossip, new music, but I chose to keep it this way because it's different which I'm all about. I've watched my followers grow from 3 to 117. That makes me very proud that this many people haven taking interest in my words and would take the time to follow my work. I jacked this idea from a sight called You Know you dead azz wrong, where the author creates a post in which she introduces herself and ask the commenter s to do the same which gives a sense of who is who. So let me be the first

Jordan aka J.O - 22/NYC(queens)- Blog Myspace Facebook:Jordan Holmes Twitter
Flickr

YGP: Part IV

2009-05-03T20:58:00.022-04:00

Cuffin: Pt 2

2009-04-23T00:49:00.002-04:00

In December of 2008 I wrote a epic blog which shocked the blog world or at least I thought it did, Blog titled "Cuffin". In said blog I spoke about the issues in which a person would cuff a particular female from the winter months and then drop her in the spring/summer. Now as most of you noticed it's spring time and those valentine day roses have long died and those cards have fell from mirrors to the floor behind dressers, friday night cuddle sessions are a thing of the past, cute saturday dinner and movie dates have been erased for weeks now and those "Anti-Men" away messages are popping up left and right, But why you ask? Because Cuffing season is officially over and dudes are back in rare form chasing anything with a french manicure and spandex. Oh but please don't get it misconscrewed woman are just as guilty as their men counterparts. Trying to call your lady and it's going straight to voicemail or when you question her about her whereabouts and she say she was with keisha and nem', At 3 in the Morning tho????

Answer for cuffin'? Not in a million years Just be very cautious about whether or not your getting played.

The Pursuit of Happiness: Relationship edition

2009-04-22T00:37:00.003-04:00

In the begining there was the female edition, followed closely by the male edition.

"Girl, well you know we've been dating for 8 years, you've been there through almost everything in my life and I want to make you my wife. Will you Marry me?"

Now I'm sure these are words every woman at some point in their life would love to hear, but how does one make it to marriage? Yes dating and sharing a boyfriend/girlfriend titles are good starts, but what initially makes a man want to throw away his little black book and come home to the same woman every night?

When two people decide to get into a relationship its because they have a great amount of feelings for each other and would like to pursue those feelings into something more prosperous. A long the way those feelings may prosper or decrease due to a number of factors. When you first meet someone you meet their Representative and not the true them. The representative shows up and lures the person in to the point where they are blinded by the true individual. But like anything in life the truth always comes to the light leaving the partner to decide if they want to stay or go. However what if before you got into a relationship you had a checklist to review sort of like going grocery shopping. YUP! thats right I will provide you with that list so when you go shopping your able to pick out the fresh from the ripe.

Intelligence - Now, I'm sure we're all vivid watchers of for the love of Ray J, Flava of love and every other crappy Vh1 reality tv show, hell we're all bloggers it somewhere in the guidelines to like each of those shows. Well if watching the show you go he/she cant be smarter than the grapes or banana shes eatting. We all want to appear to be somewhat smarter than we really are thats why we use bigger words than normal or watch the discovery channel to gain to that knowledge so we can talk about something other than New Yorks boob job or why flava wears that viking hat.

Finance - I'm sure the corner store hero's are an excellent choice for a late night snack or ray's pizza shack might have the best slices in the city but when courting a young lady is this really the place you want to take her to start off a relationship. Now I know the guys are think "J.O what if shes a gold digger?" chances ar if she's a G.D once u pull up to either spot she will spazz on you and bounce. I know most of us arent jayz or 50 status but atleast be better than ODB status.

L.O.C- Lines of Communication. The leading cause of Break ups is communication. Communicating is more than just speaking, the art of listening is almost lost in todays society. Today everybody wants to be heard and doenst want to listen. Many of divorces and child support cases could've just been avoided if the lines were open more and people took the time to understand where each other was coming from.

Apperance - We all have that bad hair day, Laundry day, or the the F it day, but if your having those kind of days more than 4 times a week chances are your spouse wont find you attractive and when be will in the words of TLC choosing to "Creep". No you dont have to be tyson beckford or beyonce everyday but try to realize when you went and got that fresh cut to impress shorty or when you paid selena at the domincan spot 60 cash for that wash & set you were making a statement that you cared about your appearance. Taking ME time will save any relationship.

Accountability- the biggest man or woman in life is the one that can admit to his or her mistakes. I hate to see people in life go around blaming peoples for their mistakes. If your 30 still living in your moms basement she isnt the blame you are. If you went to the club and have 3 patron shots and at the end of the night kissed 5 guys and had sex with your roomates man your the blame not your roomate man. If you can take responsiblity for your actions relationship will flow alot smoother.

Trust- Men Lie woman lie, but the first time you lie break up, its over, Seriously. Relationships in order to work need an enomorous amount of trust so once you break that rule and get away with the first lie your going to keep going and going and going until you get caught. The worst part about lying is keeping up with all the lies, thats why I try my hardest to always tell the truth. My brain has so much going on so keeping up with every lie would be damn near impossible.

This checklist is proven to work, I have applied it to my love life and so far we are doing great, apply these tips while I'm giving them out for free because soon I will be charging soon.

How are you?

2009-04-22T00:20:00.004-04:00

Co-Worker: Hey, Good Morning Jordan
Me: Whats up bro? How are you?
Co-Worker: I'm great and you?
Me:*Pause*.......(Should I tell Him I hate his guts, this place and everyone in here, how much I want to quit, but I cant because the economy is so jacked up, How him asking me how I am every morning irritates me and did I mention how much I hate this place)........Oh I'm good man thanks for asking.

That is my response every morning, when honestly I could be in the best mood ever but as soon as I walk in that door and see those faces of the people I despise the most it automatically ruins my day. Like it is even right not to asnwer I'm good when somebody ask you how are you. I've almost never heard anyone say they feel like shit and wish you would leave them alone. I was wondering am I the only one who feels this way?

Fresh Jr.

2009-04-21T23:57:00.004-04:00

=

I can't believe that a party invite, multiple Grey Goose/cranberries and a sexy monkey created the picture above. I keep looking at the picture hoping that it will speak to me and say "da-da". His head is huge like mine and he has big lips like me, it's just so hard to believe in October he was resting in my scrotum and no he almost here. Looking at that picture I see more than a child who has yet to be born, I see my hopes my dreams my all basically. They say the love from a parent is unconditional and I can def feel where that comes from. I'm just so amped to be a dad and cant wait to have someone to beat 1 on 1 in basketball, play video games, first beating, first day of school all that good Jazz, so with that everybody meet my boy Jordan Jr...

Is America too soft? (VLOG)

2009-04-15T23:53:00.000-04:00

Is America becoming too soft?

2009-04-14T18:56:00.002-04:00

Thoughts on America trying to sugar coat everything. From Kids sports to Television. Thoughts?

VLOG coming later.

Free Spirit

2009-04-11T20:13:00.004-04:00

One Day I was in my favorite self time spot( The Bathroom) and I exited out of BBM and went to the Memo pad on my blackberry and jotted down some random thoughts.

"In life we place too much pressure on the insignificant things that we have no control over. The wealthiest people in the world are not those who drive foreign exotic cars, multi-million dollar homes in southern California, but those who have accepted the peace within themselves. Inner peace is a common goal in which most are trying to reach although the fate may seem impossible, many have accomplished it and are on a road to healthy living" - Jordan Holmes(JDotofresh)

Young Gordon Parks : Part 3

2009-04-07T21:57:00.011-04:00

Getting Inshape

2009-04-01T23:43:00.004-04:00

"You ever see somebody at the gym that is huge? It's like why are you still working out you already won" - Kevin Hart

I want to be that guy Kevin mentions in his quote. So since everybody is all into everything healthy and green, I figured I would too become a bit more conscious of my health at an earlier age. Diabetes and high blood pressure seem to run in my family, hell any family that comes from the south and eats those classic Sunday dishes should have high blood pressure. As with most kids in my age bracket I used to be a devout athlete, playing sports any chance given, however as you get older partying, girls and other interest leave little time for exercise. I think back to 2004 right before my first semester of college I had to get a physical. My doctor at the time, told me "Mr. Holmes this is the point of your life where your going to be physically active more than ever, because before you know it you will have a pot belly and taking 5 different pills for the same symptom" Now its 2009 I'm a bit chunky and not in the greatest shape. Heavy Alcohol intake not to meant the tobacco wasn't help much, Now as I approach the dawn of my child entering the world makes me want to be a bit more health conscious and take care of my body because you only get one.

I thought about many things to help me continue a healthy living, such as waking up early to jog or heading to the gym after work and cutting out ALOT of the fatty foods I consume,however with such a hectic lifestyle being always on the go How does one find the time not to eat junk food and continue to fit in a good workout into a schedule? Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.

"To thine own self be true"

2009-03-30T20:57:00.002-04:00

For the last 3 years or so I've been lying to myself. I came to the realization I do not like who I've become so with that said, I shall no longer seek the encouragement or approval of others and NOW ON Do what I feel is BEST FOR JORDAN. At this juncture in my life I have too much on my plate to try and impress or gain the approval of any single person because at the end of the day No one will walk in these shoes but me and with that said there's come a point in life where its basically You aganist the world, not necessarily in a negative way but in a way like World this is me, love me, learn from me, appreciate me or leave me alone, thats pretty much where I will draw the line. I've been trying to make everyone else around me happy while forgetting my own true happiness. It's funny because everyone usually runs to me for advice and I haven't been able to supply myself with the great advice I dish out. All in All This Is me World, I hope you can appreciate.

Fresh State

2009-03-29T17:36:00.007-04:00

Before:

After:

Been In a good mood Lately Decided to get a make over. Decided to cut the beard off and go back to a low hair cut, New Year had to go back to a simple look, trying to keep everything in life simple as possible. New blogs on the way stay tuned.

Cry me a river....

2009-03-25T18:33:00.003-04:00

Lately I been going through some weird stage, I've been feeling extremely emotional, thinking a lot and just stressing about the future. Anyone who knows me, Knows that I'm usually extremely laid back, funny and always upbeat. However over the last week or so I've been feeling some kind of way about everything in my life currently, everything that's soon going to occur in the coming weeks or so. The main part of the frustration is lack of support, I realized in my life I'm too giving, when I need people the most they usually turn their back on me or basically wont reciprocate the love that I show to them, as a male I'm supposed to be "heartless" and not let stuff like that get to me. Honestly shit bothers me a lot, I don't have many, if any people I can rely on this lifetime, for the last 3-4 years I've basically been taking care of myself by choice, Honestly because I have a ton of pride so I hate asking for handouts and it's just in my nature to want to get it done by myself, because in the end if I don't do it then who will?

Over the weekend my aunt and I were having a conversation about the baby and of course my mother had to chime in with her 2 cents,negative, of course, it bothered me because its like whatever way you may feel about me, doesn't mean you have to feel that way about your 1 and only grand child ever(I'm an only child), it hurt me more because everybody else around me seems to be excited or at least acted as if they were when I told them. Although her and I don't get along she's the only parent I have, also only mother so her opinion means a lot to me and the fact she came at me like that really hurt me a lot. I've always been one to wear my emotions on my sleeve and not let things get to me, but the conversation hurt so much I had to break down and cry. Over the last 3 years I've lost friends, family been through a lot but this situation right here had me crying, like not balling and nose running crying but just sitting alone crying letting out emotion. I honestly can't remembered the last time I cried but in all Honesty it felt great It was like with each tear emotions were flowing down my cheek and making me feel a lot better.

I can't reembered the last time I cried, but sunday as I sat in my room letting out those emotions I felt as though I was starting fresh, with all those negative feelings and all that nasty energy was released me and I was rejuivanted. I'm still feeling somewhat emotional but not the way I felt last week, I don't know what causing it but It's certainly not a good feeling. one thing I know for sure is that if I ever get to over whelmed with emotion I don't have to be afraid to shed a tear because in actuality it helped a lot.

N.Y. State of Mind

2009-03-23T16:15:00.003-04:00

"New York, New York, Big city of dreams, BUT EVERYTHING IN NEW YORK AIN'T ALWAYS AS IT SEEMS" - Dogg Pound

No truer words have been spoken, N.Y.C is the Muthableeping hate/depression/wishyoubad/Takeyoudown/Crabinabucket/Fronting capital. I haven't been many places in the world, but the few places that I've been the people have always been courteous, nice, respectful, overall happy spirit. Not here in this city, you would think with all the attractions we have here, unlimited restaurants, shopping, just so much to do people would find more constructive things to do than to sit around and Hate on the next person. I've always wondered if people knew/realized the energy they've wasted gossiping about person a could've used to develop a new idea, create a revolutionary gadget anything. No not here people walk around salty mad at the world all day here.

How can Philadelphia be the city of brotherly love and N.Y.C is Less than a Hour and half drive away and no love be shown here. New York often know as the big apple should be changed to rotten apple. Nobody here wants anybody to do well/succeed. It's a mentality like if I'm fucked up you should be fucked up as well, No F that I worked hard for what I have you should do the same. The problem with this city is that too much accessible for people so they never have the need to work hard, so when you do good it's like hey man what the hell are you doing? Your not supposed to be succeeding, come back down here to failure with us. You see it all the time with music stars from the city, Rapper A. Succeeds and old friends come out the wood works with "exposure" details about how rapper A didn't do this and that, all because old friend wasn't supplied with any money.

In NYC people to seem to feel like they are superior to everyone because of where we from, We feel we dress, talk, carry ourselves better than anybody else in the WORLD, while I agree with something about NY swagger, Attitude and respect are something each and every NY'er needs to work on severely, I was trying to get over on the highway yesterday and I had to wait a good 2 Min's to get over because a person with North Carolina Plates let me in. New Yorkers are always in a rush to get no where, Let that same situation had happened In Virginia or Maryland and I would've been let in instantly.

The sad Part about the situation is I hate this city so much, But too scared to move anywhere else. Biggest contradiction ever I know, I know the majority of people fear change, however I may or may not be one of those people, I don't want to bash this place and say that I would never come back and move else where and end up coming right back. I honestly know that I need to shake this place and Move but will my heart let me. I feel like a domestic abused woman it's like I know He(Rotten apple) is bad for me but I continue to stay and take the abuse cause I figure that HE will one day change.....

Day's of our lives

2009-03-20T19:54:00.003-04:00

Blogging has become a modern day Reality Soap opera and Personally I love it. Life has so many twist and turns ups and downs and it's hard to grasp the reels of every situation, however blogs have allowed us young and old a voice, a chance to rant, appreciate, depict, joke, socialize, broaden and most of all be free with whatever it is we choose to write about. I come to blog spot everyday almost like it DEC 24 @ 11:00pm and your parents told you, you can open your presents at 12. I'm anxious to see every one's ideas, creativity, honestly that how I'm able to write the majority of my blogs from reading others and then an idea will pop in my head and I will write about it.

Before the blog spot I had a journal in which I lost, so I'm wondering if somebody ever found it and read all my thoughts, dreams, fantasies, hatreds etc. With the blog I feel like I've been very open and pretty much not held too much back. Truthfully Although I don't vent too much about issues that bother me, I consider this as a hobby which pretty much keeps me occupied and allows me to feel somewhat like an artist with my word. There's no greater feeling than reading the comments and someone says they love your blog, you made their day or just good/bad criticism, I love it all. No greater feeling that posting a new blog you put energy into and seeing people comment and chime in on it. Means the world to me.

Although I don't have the best blog in the world, nor am I the most popper blogger each and every comment, page view means the world to me. I will try to keep the blog up and running as long as possible, so to each follower, commenter, viewer, hater, Thanks so much you guys/gal keep me sane.

"Can't tell me Nothing"

2009-03-18T21:22:00.004-04:00

In the summer of 2007 Rapper Kanye West and label mate Young Jeezy teamed up for a Hood-Pop inspired anthem titled, "Can't tell me nothing". The song was about basically the struggle versus ultimately coming into the wealth and superiority you would possess. However this song has been like my official anthem, No the lyrics aren't ground breaking, Beat isn't phenomenal however this is that song where you close you eyes and imagine the artist is speaking directly to you.

2008 was a great year for myself, however also a very depressing time for those around around me, although the impact of the recession didn't shine through last year, this year in 2009 it's basically slapping me in my face. As I grind hard each and everyday working hard for the small necessities in life while also striving to obtain the other worldly material possessions I find myself singing "Wait till I get my money right".

I've also been an avid believer that money can't solve all problems but it will come close enough. We wake up everyday go to work, school, sell drugs, whore ourselves, enjoy boring water cooler conversations, laugh at corny jokes from even cornier bosses, fetch coffee, assist clueless customers, wear shoes too small, tight khaki pants, a boring "power suit", ride public transportation, sit in hour long traffic, get squished into a small space for a long ride, spend 8.00 on a nasty deli sandwich, refill metro cards, all for that MIGHTY green dollar.

It makes me wonder what percentage of us feel like Money is the all to be all in life. I myself have a great family around me, friends, good head on my shoulder, however with all that money will secure everything in life. Basically if you read through anyone blog the underlying tone in any personal rant is the monetary issue. In America status is measured by wealth, you see that everyday when you step over the bum laying on the subway, Joe the bum could be cooler than let's say Jay-z but because Joe is broke and a bum , he is deemed less of a man and Jay-z is a god like figure because he has accumulated weatlh.

"I was the one back in the day always talkin' about how I love the hood..
I love the ghetto.I was the one sayin' I wasn't the kind of nigga to run to the suburbs You're right,
that's what I said,
But as soon I got my check I Was GONE" - Uncle Elroy


I often wonder if my actions would resemble that of Elroy, if ever paid,
I don't mean belligerently ignorant like gold floors or teeth made of rare diamonds,
of running to the suburbs and forgetting everyone I grew up with because I made some money.
Everyone loves money and I especially do ,
living in times like this it make you wounder how much you would change or how different life would be if your money was right.

Bucket List

2009-03-15T22:13:00.003-04:00

I'm 22 so I'm a bit away from death or atleast I hope so But I compiled a list of things I would Like to do before the big man calls me in.

1. Play Lebron 1 on 1
2. Pull up to a club and open up the door on a Lamborgohini
3. Go to italy on a supreme shopping spree
4. Smoke a cigar in a steam spa room
5. Wake up in a penthouse in Manhattan and have breakfast on the balcony looking down at the city
6. Cruise through midtown manhattan in late summer in a coupe with the top down
7. Sit courside at a knicks game right next to spike
8. Dock a yacht and sit and lay on the front tanning
9. walk into a sneaker store and tell the clerk to give me the whole rack
10. Attend a board meeting for a company like Chase or Wells Fargo
11. Deposit 1,000,000 in the bank just to see what it feels like
12. Have a personal chaeffur
13. Visit the oval office for a day of worth with President Obama
14.Play tennis at burj al arab helipad landing in Dubai
15. Spend 24 hours with Jay-z
16. Host a radio show on hot 97 for a day
17. Visit LA,Vegas, Seattle, Chicago, Denver, Phoenix, Utah
18. Swim naked at any large wading pool
19. Ride a roller coaster after eating 5 hot dogs and 1 large soda

That is all I can think of for now, Shall continue with a part 2 when I can think of more.

Reality Check.

2009-03-15T21:21:00.004-04:00

Reality Check - an occasion on which one is reminded of the nature of things in the real world.

It seems like lately I've been pressing to get a lot of things done before the baby comes(Aug 20), So I been under a lot of pressure or at least it seemed that way. I've been thinking about my future with both short and long term goals I have set for myself. Many of the short term goals are very obtainable and many of the long term goals were out of reach or at least I thought so until last night.

Most people go through life so serious, trying to obtain the best, trying to obtain the American dream, chasing dreams and such all the time forgetting the most important part to life, the living. As Monks and I were eating, I came to the realization I spend too much time worrying about the little things Instead of just letting life flow. I have a bad problem of trying to understand every little detail instead of just being spontaneous and not always asking why. My grandmother would always use to tell me when I would pout over not getting the newest sneakers or a video game as a kid, "Jordan, Somebody always has it worse than you do" It took 22 years and some odd days for that to finally register for me. Right now everybody is going through it, People are jobless, homeless etc and I'm here with a stable job, roof over my head, girlfriend and a baby on the way I should have no complaints only just to live life and enjoy.

I know most people only experience reality checks when dealt with hardships, jail time, family losses or down and out, however I'm glad I had mine now so I will be able to put life in a different prespective for the time being and "Live Now" instead of planning for the future and living then instead of enjoying my time now, because at the end of the day tomorrow is definitely not promised.

Young Gordon Park's: Part 2

2009-03-15T20:56:00.004-04:00

MY FLICKR BE SURE TO CHECK IT OUT

Out of your league?

2009-03-11T21:02:00.004-04:00

"Yo, son look at her she's gorgeous" - Guy A
"Yeah, She's well put together, but she's out of your league" - Guy B

What the hell does this mean? Is it implying that someone is better than you or are you that terrible in your life your not good enough to grace the other person's presence. Personally we're all one wrong decision from jail, one call out from unemployment, one missed mortgage or rent payment from being homeless, so in all actuality what makes me > you? I feel I have a lot going for myself but I can't ever say that someone is out of my league. It's funny because in life we pump ourselves up so much that we actually feel that we are better than someone else, almost like a walking contradicting, people are quick to preach equality but throw the next person down. I like to think that I haven't been hurt that many times in my life , but I would be devastated and eternally scarred if someone told me that I wasn't in her league. Basically like staying step your game up, but in that instance if I get a bigger car, house, fancier clothes and all that means you don't really want me for my personality, but for my material possessions, which leads me back to the question is anybody ever really with anybody for the person inside or what they bring to the table and can do for you?

These are questions that have bothered me for a while, any help greatly appreciated.

Passanger Etiquette

2009-03-06T01:55:00.003-05:00

"Damn, Watch out you almost hit a truck"
"Hey, J.O can you turn the radio down!"
"Slow down you drive like a mad man"
"You know you can take the belt to cross island parkway to get there quicker"

If you've done almost any of the above things, You couldn't ride with me. I was a passenger for 16 years of my life before getting my own ride. I always asked If could put in a request for a song, roll down the windows, offer input on direction giving, shout at the driver for there driving techniques. I tell you, the passengers of today aren't how they used to be, Loud cell phone talking, Manually changing the radio, smoking, asking for door to door drop offs, I swear the game has changed majorly.

"Beggers can't be choosers" That's always a quote I lived by not today, it seems like beggers want to choose and navigate. My cousin jay might be the worst, every time he gets in my cars he adjust the seat to the invisible man, open the CD wallet throws in max b, fires up a new port and kicks back Like hes in the comfort of his own personal limo. Now I might bitch and be like "son you wilding" and he will chill, but I'm not the type to go absolutely hard. I like to make people feel comfortable and sometimes people get way too comfortable.

Let's discuss the top 5 P.E
5) Conversation - If the driver is not willingly open and having a full fledged conversation with you threes no need for you to break your neck and make up the most random conversations that come into your mind, Heck the driver is driving and need some concentration, hell silence is golden, so kick back enjoy the tunes on the radio and most of all enjoy the ride.

4)Clean Shoes - I can't stress how much I hate people who bring their dirty kicks and mess up your freshly cleaned floor mats. Just like back in the day when u wiped down your shoes before entering your home you should have the same courtesy when getting into someone car. Don't be afraid to do the heel click before getting in, trust me the driver will be very happy and pleased to see that.

3)Eating - We all love to swing through the drive through and get a quick bite to eat, however if you can't be cleanlier about it i think the drive through is not the best option ask the driver to park up while you head inside to eat. Nothing worse than finding old sesame seeds and rusty brown french fries under your seat after your boy decided that he couldn't fit 23 fries in his mouth at one time. If you know you have trouble keeping your shirt clean while sitting down at the table, what makes you think you will do any better while in motion

2) D.N.T - If # 1 wasn't so important this could easily be the most important thing. As I mentioned earlier Do Not Touch unless given permission, Never change the station, AC settings, Window length, adjust seats or anything unless given permission.

1) Contribution - Now I'm a firm believer in helping people but at the same time I also believe in the barter system. I scratch your back, Please scratch mine. Now I don't mind giving people lifts but please don't think I'm about to transform into Benson driving you around time without any duckets on the petroleum. Don't think "oh J.OS my man he doesn't need any gas" , Let me decline your offer don't decline my offer for me. Nothing worse than a person trying to guess what your judgements are going to be. Although gas prices have dropped severely I didn't put 30 in my tank to accompany you and your agenda all day. So if you are a person who likes to ride around for "free" please offer the driver some gas money next time.

Now driving is always a luxury , however sometimes it can be a curse as well due to the factors I just listed, if you follow those 5 simples rules, watch your chances of getting a ride increase and see how much more happy the driver is an accompanying you around.

Small World.....

2009-03-06T01:33:00.003-05:00

How is it that the world is so big yet so damn small? I know you are wondering what the hell I'm talking about, Fine let me explain. How is it that there are so many people in the world yet everybody seems to know the same people. Or better yet your information can be relayed back from a person you've never met in your entire life yet knows your entire life story? I'll tell you why the world isn't that damn big to begin with.

-John Belicino has sent you a friend request, You click mutual friends and your like how the hell do John Know Keisha, Thomas and Fred?
-Hey Jordan I would like for you to meet Sasha, Hi Sasha you look awfully familiar oh that's because we took business econ two years ago

Now those are just random situations but how is that in a world with some Billion plus people everybody seems to hang in the same crowds or share the same info. You would think that with that many people it would be hard to run into the same person twice or even have a friend of your be cool with someone from a totally different walk of life.

-What about when your in west bubble f*** and you see someone you know, like what the hell are you doing out here?

-My girlfriends best friend sister sister is also one of my followers, if that doesn't solidify that the world is small

-By far the strangest was going to a party and meeting a fellow blogger who recognized me and was like aren't you J.O fresh and I could only respond Yeah

-I won't even talk about the fact that mostly everybody in this big city has shared the same sexual partners

I just had to post this because I always wondered how can a place as big as America actually be as small as a peanut in terms of circles and encounters.

Young Gordon Parks?

2009-03-01T23:49:00.014-05:00

No where close. Well I'm not sure many of you know this but I've always had a thing for photography. Not so a knack for taking the pictures, rather just being in awe and staring at photos for hours and hours. I've been around photography since an early age, because my uncle Lonnie was a Sports photographer and always would bring back prints of his work from the days of shooting people like Bo Jackson, Ron Harper, Michael Jordan, Deion Sanders the list goes on and on. However my mother not really what you would call a photographer per say took a lot of pictures and always stored them in Photo albums so as I kid I spend a lot of time looking at pictures of family members and friends and just visualizing what that time frame was like and what was going on in those pictures.

Well in October 2007 I was fortunate enough to go with my uncle on a trip to shoot Lebron James and Serena Williams for articles of his companies Magazine(Black Enterprise). Being on the set I didn't realize how serious taking pictures was and how little time you have to get perfection executed. During those 4 days I realized I loved taking pictures myself and I would eventually take a shot at it. Although him and I don't get along, I respect his craft and Hope that maybe someday I can be nice like him with a camera.

I purchased my first "Real" digital Camera Last week nothing special A Canon Power shot to get me started and hopefully once I master this, I will move on to an SLR Canon Rebel perhaps well here are a few of my shots and hopefully you guys like. REMINDER I AM A ROOKIE .Also check out my boy Tommie's work

I'm a sheep....

2009-02-27T23:35:00.004-05:00

I don't know why I made a twitter But I did, I guess the popularity got to me and I wanted the whole world to know what I'm doing every 10 seconds. Jdotofresh So click the link and add me.
This week has been a sucky one but in true fashion, I will have plenty to blog about so keep posted.

Washed Up Comedy

2009-02-24T23:51:00.003-05:00

I was shocked to see how many of my Ballerific Associates Don't have access to the Network Station HBO. I know my ballerific blogger friends have access tho because 1) you have a good Internet connection which most broke people don't have 2) you have a computer . If you have these two things you should have HBO. However like I mentioned in an earlier post with The Office, I think my favorite sitcom might have a running mate for the funniest show on Television, that Show is called Eastbound and Down. If you can PLEASE watch that show it pure unadulterated comedy. It's stars "Red" from (Pineapple Express), as Kenny Powers a washed up ex athlete who comes back to his hometown to work as a sub teacher and regain fame.

That song....

2009-02-24T22:44:00.006-05:00

You ever have a song no matter the mood, situation, environment or time it automatically makes you start jamming? In my life I passed through a ton of songs, partly due to growing up in an African American household with predominately nothing but woman(Black-Woman seem to love R&B music for some reason), I've heard it all from the stylistics to Whitney Houston on Saturday afternoons while cleaning up. As a male I'm not "Supposed" to like R&B but for some reason I rather hear some skinny dude croon about getting his heart broken than a Want to be poser rap about how much invisible drugs he's sold or how many people he sent to the funeral home.

Since we are now living in digital world, we have a ton of accessible outlets to get music right at the tip of our fingers. So with that a lot of music becomes somewhat disposable because you hear some much that whatever you like must stand out for you to keep going back an forth to it. However I'm not a radio head because I would be damned to listen to the radio to listen to the same 10-12 songs all day, especially living in New York where DJ's get paid the most to play the corniest records all day. So I mostly hit up my blog connects or through word of mouth from friends about the newest stuff out. I was a little disappointed at myself because this summer while at a block party in Brooklyn, I heard a song which I couldn't remember the name of and it sounded so hot, the beat was good, melody was right and the singing was somewhat offbeat but fit just right. So if you've ever been to a party you know the DJ never plays the whole song and if he does play the song you hear the intro for a good 5-6 Min's before they even get into the song, and please don't let the crowd be hype or the DJ himself because he will be screaming and hollering all over the song. So I'm grooving and dancing, drink in my hand of course , enjoying myself then the songs abruptly ends and I hear the dream " I love your girl" So I'm instantly sad, but the feeling drowns fast because my brain alerts me that I like this song as well, so I continue dancing and having a good time.

The next day I forced myself to listen to the radio, because I HAD to find out the name of that song and who sang it. Sure enough big headed funk Master flex Came on Dropping bombs and hollering outlandish foolishness and all I remember was "NY We gone smooth it out, we real big right now with that fantasia record" I was hype because the first clue to my puzzle was solved, I knew who sang the song, now my next mission was to find out the title so I could download, so I cranked the volume up a little louder on the radio and I heard he sing " When I see youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu" So i figured that had to be it, so I ran to lime wire and sure enough that was the title and please believe that song was instantly thrown on every mix CD I made for the car and Instantly became the #1 song on my play list in itunes. I love this song so much and I know it must decrease my manliness because its a girl singing about her feelings about a guy, but what the hell I'm applying it to my situation. So this is that one song for me, Incase you haven't seen the video and were under a rock like me

Man on the Moon....

2009-02-23T00:08:00.002-05:00

Ask people who am I? You will generally get two different responses, "J.O that's my dude, mad cool, I F's with him" or " F that N-word". It's very simple I'm a jerk. I'm the coolest person in the world, or at least I think, I don't mean cool like my Nike's are cleaner and my jeans have better stitching than yours, I mean cool like I'm friendly, Personable, easy to talk to, Understanding and can give you a great intellectual perspective. However at the same time I'm also very debatable, non-spontaneous, Sarcastic, and sometimes too witty for my own good. I'm the guy who will ask you why 5 or 6 times just to irritate you and see you get mad, or the person who will slow down my walking speed in a crowded environment just to see the anger. I generally do this because people take life way too serious and usually seem like they have sticks up their butt. I usually feel like I'm sometime to weird for my own good. I usually sleep all day and stay up to the wee hours of the morning, walk out quoting random lyrics and scenes from movies to describe how I feel, I also laugh a lot which can make someone upset. The most important thing I can say is I try to almost never comply to the norm, I never follow fads, I talk with my own lingo, Almost always go against the grain why? Because I always feel like I'm the man on the moon.

The Pursuit of Happiness : Male Edition

2009-02-18T21:20:00.004-05:00

If you've been a faithful follower from the beginning, You walked this interesting Blog Journey with me, From the If I were a girl
Heels On , Cuffin , The break up , The Sidepiece , and the post that leads me to this one The pursuit of happiness : Female Edition. I'm not a psychiatrist or a doctor, however I feel like a seasoned veteran in the love game. I've dealt with a few woman in my day and it seems like no woman could ever understand me, Why? Because either I didn't trust her enough to let my guard downs or either I felt her intellect wasn't on my level so I dumbed it down to be with her. Realistically although Most dudes won't agree with me, We are more complicated to understand than woman. As men we deal with a lot on our plates not saying that woman don't, however I feel the curve for being a man is much stronger than for that of a woman.

As a man from an early age you are taught to have the prettiest girl, best car, biggest house, be in the best the shape, be stronger faster,smarter, just greater and better than average. The pursuit of all those perfections, can take a toll on dudes where we even experience mood swings, not to the extent of a woman, however the pressures of being perfect mixed in with a woman nagging and applying pressure to a situation which didn't need more pressure. In life we all want to be HAPPY. What is happiness though? Is it being that Imperfect Perfection society's need you to be , the dude with the biggest Johnson or fattest wallet? I strive to be happy everyday, not with who society's wants me to be, because honestly society doesn't want to see me succeed, they want me to stand on the corner, with my pants down , and become another statistic in an overpopulated Jail System. That's a different topic though for another day, What is the happiness that Woman from a man? I think no woman can answer that because if asked that question, the answers would contradict themselves and be many different answers.

However as a male I'll tell you what we need to be happy and woman can take it from there and run with it and see what they can muster up to apply to their situation and help their relationship ultimately.

WOMAN - No matter How much we Can't stand y'all or vice verse, No man wants to be alone, that's why we take the abuse and arguments that a woman can bring to you. A woman is like an essential to a man liefs without a woman a man would have no purpose, woman are the reason, we maintain our appearance, drives fancy cars, Expensive garments even Watch Mushy movies. If woman weren't around every dude would walk around in old musty sweats and dusty sneakers because there would be no reason to have new clean ones.

MONEY - Money to a man is like a cock swinging contest, the dudes who have the biggest one would prob be at the front of line like judge me, it's almost identical to people with money, ever wonder why you see so much 50 and Jayz on TV?. Money is important to every man because that's the reasons we grind hard everyday at jobs, to earn money to buy nice cars, nice clothes, which ultimately leads right back to a woman.

SPORTS - Sports have been around since Maximus, Juba to present day Lebron and Kobe, So if you feel that you are going to deny a man his chance to watch his sports you either are on the same coke as wine house and Whitney or are in denial like Rick Ross. I would highly suggest you get a Sports for dummies book and get a seat on the couch because August - June are very important months in the Sports Roster.

FRIENDS - A man's homeboys whether good or bad aren't going anywhere so you need to accept that. No matter How much you think James is a dog and that Terrell is up to no good, those are his boys who were there before for you and likely to be there after you leave. I would tell every woman to not judge her man's friends because although you feel a certain way about their activities you are not dating them and if that's your man's friends he's obviously friends with them for a good reason, So trust his judgement.

SPACE - I know you can't live without your boo-boo but everybody needs space. Everyman needs time with his boys or time for himself to gather thoughts or even just take a deep breath, I sure as hell do from time to time. The best thing is to allow someone to miss you, how can anyone miss you if you crowd them and want to be around them every living second, Just like you have those days when you don't want to be bothered we as men feel the same way.

WANTED - No more how manly your man appears to you we all want that time we when we cuddle and tell you all that good mushy stuff you ladies love to hear. Everyman wants to know that his woman wants him, a time where you put your arms around him and kiss his lips softly and let him know that you will always be there for him.

So in the end just like with most things a Man's happiness is directly related to a woman. Yes Sex, Cooking Cleaning, Present ability are all things that make us happy as well but those are the main outlines to the confusion that you woman know as man. Hope this helped and can help jump start your 2009.

The bait was too tasty....

2009-02-15T05:04:00.004-05:00

25 was much too little I decided to continue on with another 25. Maybe 50 will be end who knows I may be up to a 1000 at one point. so anyway on with the festivities.

26. I have weird eatting binges where I may eat one thing all day and be fine and then the next eat 10 medium meals and still not be full.

27. I often have conversations with myself "Yo fresh you wildin B what were you thinking", "I know son I was wilding" I usually does this for a while until I realize how foolish I may look and to other who are seeing me carry a conversation with myself

28. right after I eat I always laydown. I dont know why I do but immediately after I take a bite and drink that last drop of juice I must lay down or the food will not feel right to me.

29. I usually think everyone is lying. I mean the person could be telling the truth but I dont believe anything.

30. I think naps should be incorporated into the constitution like if you don't nap, you don't pass go and you go to jail.

31. I love being alone but I have a fear of being lonely.

32. I like to be lowkey but also crave a lot of attention

33. In highschool I was considering porn as a profession when i saw how much they make for a shoot. "I was like getting paid for sex, hell where do I sign up" my name would've been pipe master fresh

34. I often laugh at people who wear arabs scarfs

35. I'm a lazy neat freak.

36. I hate woman who wear shirts/sweats that say bootylicious, sexy, hottie, bunnie etc

37. woman who shave their eyebrows off to draw them back on, should be knee chopped.

38. I usually sleep in intervals, I wake up at 12:01 sleep to 1:00 check the time go back to sleep for x amount of hrs and repeat process I can never sleep straight through.

39. I often watch porn on cinemax for the comedy factor like WOW people actually enjoy this

40. I think my bladder may be messed up I go quite a few days without doing #2

41. As I walk down the street I pray for a kid to run up on an ask for my autograph

42. I feel like when I go out all eyes are on me, I think I'm a celeb in my mind

43. At work I often dream about shooting a few of my co-workers, Does that make me crazy?

44. I love to read, but find it boring does that make sense even?

45. I buy things that I dont really need just to say I have it

46. I bring my laptop with me to use the bathroom and spend and unhealthy amount of time on the toliet.

47. I burn a lot of energy, I watch tv, listen to music, with the lights on, and window open at the same time

48. If I can't find the remote I will watch whatever is on tv(Gossips girl is actually good money)

49. I will not watch the simpsons, Bart and Lisa are almost as old as me still in elementry school :-/

50. I dream about running away to Island with no phone, Internet and people Just by myself to clear my thoughts and not be disturbed.

I think thats all, or is it?

To Zion...

2009-02-15T04:08:00.004-05:00

I don't know what exactly is it but I've never been more excited to receive a gift like this, it's almost like everyday is December 24th. I can't explain the feeling of that seeing that sonogram, Before it was just rubbing monks belly and wondering what the heck was in there and what it looks like. I know the picture doesn't reveal much but it seems like I can already smell the scent, or see the little toes and fingers. For some reason I keep looking at that the picture hoping for it to move or at least speak to me. I'm not even a father yet but I can honestly say there's no feeling like this, like just a few months ago I was worrying about what outfit I would buy or How nice 32' rims would look but now this blessing has put me into a whole new mind state. Now its not anymore I's in my life instead I shall now embrace the word WE.

Now onto why the name of the post is Zion. In 1998 a one Ms. Lauryn Hill released the critically acclaimed "Miseducation of Lauryn Hill"
Well in a synopsis Lauryn is talking about how everyone feels its a bad idea for her and how she isn't ready, should be a little wiser about the decision and should continue her career and place children making on hold. While not exactly directed to my situation definitely a song I can relate too, although mostly everyone has been very excited and super supportive, certain family members have recieved the news with the excitement and joy one should have. I know a lot of them feel like oh he's young , not settled, etc however life is never planned the way you want it to be, curveballs are thrown at you each and everyday and it's all up to you how you handle it. I have the feeling as time goes along the one's who may have mixed feelings may soon open the edition with arms wider than open.

Word's cant explain the joy I feel right now. I still don't know the sex of the baby and still praying thats its a boy, however if a babygirl is in there brewing I will still cry, but I will also cry tears of joy, as long as its healthy and funny like me I will be fine. I'm not sure if many of you care about this but I feel like I will be keeping a trimester update up until Aug 20. (Due Date) that way when he/she is a little older can read the blogs and see how much anticipation was built around their arrival.

P.S. I also have a few things I would like to add to the blog. Like maybe a movie/Album or song of the week, Just cooler things to keep the spice over here :-)

God Take me NOW!!!

2009-02-12T20:48:00.006-05:00

No your eyes are not deceiving you that is a big piece of tissue hanging from my nostril, if your as lazy as me then your probably getting tired of blowing your nose every 30 seconds and just put it there to temporarily stop the "Pain". I haven't been this sick in years and it really sucks, I like to think of myself as a somewhat invincible character, Wearing no hat, heading outside right after showers, going on my terrace with a wife beater and showing no signs of defeat until last night when I realized my super powers have been revoked because I'm feeling very mortal right now, actually less than mortal.

I think the whole experience of being sick is not as bad as everyone becoming a MD overnight giving you advice on what will make YOU feel better. So far I've gotten about 30 different combinations on what will cure me. I'm trying to take heed to all the advice but I have a feeling I'm soon going to explode on someone and then crawl back under my covers and cry.

I hope I can shake this cold/fever whatever the hell it is soon I would hate to be trapped inside this weekend and be stricken to the bed. I do know three things for sure whenever I regain my Immortal status that I will no longer be giving handshakes, I shall proceed to Lysol every object I encounter in my daily routine and shall wear a face mask similar to Micheal Jackson or carpenters, Next year Robitussin, thera flu or Dayquil will be receiving none of my funds.

Cupid doesn't lie, but you won't know unless you give him a try....

2009-02-12T01:18:00.006-05:00

All my single Ladies, All my single Ladies.... I wonder how many ladies will be in the club singing this on Friday drunk off Long Island Ice teas , Secretly hating their lives because they have No valentine. Valentines day is approaching and you can usually tell who has a valentine and how pretty much doesn't. At work tomorrow take notice of the ladies walking around overly excited and of the ladies dragging their feet around because they know Saturday its going to be her, the notebook and a pint of chunky monkey :-(
Honestly I can't feel bad for a woman who doesn't have a valentine, You had all year to get your ish together so that one handsome fella would take notice to your french manicure, wash/set even the new costume earring you purchased from h&m which brings out your dimples, NO, You chose to walk around with the holier than thou attitude, bash men, and keep the goodies under code red security so now you have to appreciate singles Awareness day by yourself. With that said me and my lady will be enjoy the pleasant cuisine of a one La Cheesecake Factoree, super fine dining and buffing up on our cultural touch with Friday the 13Th, WHY? because she did all of the necessary to be regarded as my valentine.

On the flip side Valentines day is another sham to bash woman's insecurities and make us guys shell out more money and crap on stuff that most woman wont even look at come February 16. If you wait to valentines day to show love to your woman, she should leave you. [Insert cheesy line] Everyday should be like valentines day to your woman [Insert cheesy line]. So if your valentine less don't feel to bad its only one day and tomorrow every dogish thing that most men do will resume.So if your a side chick don't feel to bad Side chick day is February 15, so all that ladies that didn't get to be with that special someone on the 14th will have their chance. So with that said I hope everyone enjoys their Russel stovers candy and big brown teddy bear holding a heart saying I love you, Wait is it that predictable?

Aww what the hell let me bite the bait....

2009-02-07T23:39:00.004-05:00

As you know many of your friends have done the post 25 random things about yourself on "Spy-book" so I decided I would do one as well. I feel if you read my blog you should know me pretty well, hell I'm not sure if anyone even cares but I shall post anyway to see if anyone interest levels goes up.

1.My Name is Jordan Holmes, I was named Cristopher Jordan Holmes for a whole 2 mins before my mother swiped it and left it at Jordan.

2.I love my mother to death, I have her named tattooed on me, but we don't get along at ALL :-(

3. I'm an only child so I was extremely spoiled growing up.

4. My favorite place in the world is Harlem, NY the weather and air seems so much different there

5. I had dreams of being a NBA superstar but I stopped growing, discovered girls :-/

6. I think Lebron James / Jay-Z are the coolest dudes on earth.

7. I'm sarcastic as hell, I seriously can't go a day without giving a smart remark

8. I'm scared of horror movies I still cover my eyes or turn away when the scary music increases in the films.

9. I think Ralph Lauren clothes are greater than anything.

10. Stephon Marbury is the greatest player to ever come from new york.

11. I think staten Island shouldn't be included as a city in NYC. You have to pay a toll to get there or take a ferry :-/

12. I've never left the country before

13. I used to think I was adopted cause I was so much different from my cousins when I was growing up

14. I've only seen my father maybe 5 or 6 times

15. My cousin Michael is the coolest person I've ever met.

16. Eva Pigford could have made me her love slave and I wouldn't have said a word

17. Monkey Bear is the only girl I feel I could ever love, if it didn't work between us, I would be a pimp with a heart as cold as December.

18. I wish I was born in the 60's to be apart of the black panther movement

19. I sometimes feel like I was born too late, I feel like I would've been better fit for the 70's.

20. I am terrible at saving money

21. I listen to an unhealthy amount of music, watch a ton of older dvd's(Mainly Blaxploitation films)

22. I call my mac book baby and dust/wipe her daily

23. I have times when I go into hibernation where no one will hear or speak to me for a few days I don't know why I do it I just do.

24. I am very giving yet very selfish. Does that even make sense.

25. I think New york city is the best place on earth I could see myself living
anywhere else.

Theres definitely a ton more, But I'm not going to be sitting here typing a ton of things. Hopefully this gave you better insight to the person behind the cheesy videos and off the wall post.

Loyalty

2009-02-04T20:24:00.001-05:00

Am I smoking wrong?

2009-02-03T01:44:00.007-05:00

In wake of all the super bowl excitement, you can always find it in the good hearts of the rich folks at ABC/ESPN to take any oppurtunity to blow a story out of proportion. So as I'm waking up, I hear Micheal Phelps caught smoking from bong coming up next, to my dismay I was extremely disappointed, I quickly came to reality realizing that no matter how glorious and glorified an athelete is in their playing field they are still human, so you can expect to them make "mistakes". However with all the fame and fortune is that 30min to 2 hour high worth risking it all? Endersoments, Millions of fans, First class ass kissing all day to being nationally ridiculed on every radio station to even low budget public access stations.

In this day an age Marijuna seems to be the acceptable drug of teeny boppers, musicians, modern day hippies, corporate execs basically everyone. Now in elementary school we were forced to watch the ever popular D.A.R.E series and even saturday mornings while getting my fix of Cartoons, the commercial would show the this is your brain on drugs commercial, So with all that programming I deemed drugs as something I would never want to try. Fast forward to College, DRUGS are like second nature, it's like go to class, come back study and get high.

I remember my first time "puffin the magic dragon" like it was my first day of school outfit, this dominican kid who lived on my floor invited me to smoke a "L" so I was like why not, so we head to the back door of the building and he was like" you ever smoked haze before?" and I responded "I have virigin lungs my dude". So we smoked and I handled it pretty well , so after I closed the back door and walked back to my room it was all down hill from there. I started tripping out, seeing 8 walls, laughing, feeling sad, I ate about eight bags of peanut m&m's and tried to take a nap, the nap lasted all of 60 seconds, I then ran to the bathroom to wash my face figuring that might help, not at all. I figured let me try to enjoy this so I put on "high music", songs about to getting high which did nothing for me, so I came to the conclusion it was a wrap for me so I called monkey bear to get my will ready, I told her that she could have my car and to give all my clothes and jewelry to my little cousin, needless to say I survived but that experience might be THE WORST.

Now like any typical teen I tried it a few more times to see if I would like it, this time I waited until I was drunk and took two pulls but still its not for me. I know everybody responds differently to drugs and everything but honestly weed is definitely wack, I rather drink any day of the week before being "high".

I can't fanthom what the allure is to smoking weed but I came to the conclusion I might be smoking it wrong or maybe I'm different from a reggae artist, michael Phelps or any other person who loves the drug....

With that said I will stick to getting high off life and drinking my wavy juice.

I'm getting Married...

2009-02-02T01:19:00.006-05:00

Disclaimer : No, I'm not getting married.

"Picture us Married, You and Me, K-I-S-S-I-N-G" - Nasir Jones

So my daily mental ipod session occurred again this time the song was "Getting Married" by Nas. For some reason if I hear a song I go into a weird zone, where I start visualizing different scenarios and imagery of certain situations. I Imagined what my wedding would be like, like it would be some extravagant royal wedding(Ala Prince Akeem) or Something subtle and Secretive(see: Jay and B) But I quickly shook out of the thought because honestly the thought was quite scary.

In my earlier years during one of my late night Phone Conversations she asked me "Do I ever want to get married", I nearly hung up on her, the nerve and audacity of this girl to think that I would ever hang up my jersey and retire to the same female for the rest of my life. Looking back at that I smile and think that the inevitable is someday going to happen when I have to make "the final walk".

Ms Sampson was my English Lit teacher at school, and after I handed in a paper on an event that you're least looking forward to in the future, she asked me I would stay after class to speak with her, I instantly was like "Oh sh*t" what could I have done wrong, "Mr. Holmes, I love your assignment your imagery was very vivid and kept me on the edge of my seat the entire time, may god bless the woman who marries you(Loud Laugh)", I believed Ms. Sampson was making a pass at me, How could she not want me after reading my excellent piece of literature. The event I was least looking forward to was, well you know marriage.

The scene was immaculate at the Polo Mansion as Oha Sang "Queen to be",His vocals gracefully flowed through the speakers, pearly marble floors glistened as woman in star studded freak em' dresses and thin Stiletto heels graced the crowd, As each of my grooms men looked sharp as ever in coogi sweaters, Kangol Hats, Polo slacks and Clark's wallabies. The crowd was reminiscent of a Lakers game at the staples center in mid June, Star after Star even a Bulletproof Black Yukon was doubled parked in front which revealed None other than Mr. and Mrs Barack Obama, Diddy Winked at me and said " It's cheaper to keep her,Bad boy, Take that, Take that" which then began to give me moments of nervousness and have a flashback of my "Playing days", I flashed back to my first kiss or my boys and I at the Pizza shop spinning a pie to see who would land their dream girl one day, first case of blue balls and finally hitting the ball out the park. As My bride approached the alter and I pulled out the ring in which I found at the bottom of the titanic, my bride to be as beautiful as ever due to her Help from David Tutera and his "expertise", As she read her vows, Reverend Jesse Jackson asked me Do I do? Jordan do you take her?....... I then woke up and breathed a sigh of relief that this was all I dream, I then got scared that one day I won't be able to wake up and that this could be my fate....

Mottos

2009-01-29T16:17:00.004-05:00

In life most of us live by a certain quote or what some would consider a motto, Up until today my motto was "The world is yours". I think I adapted that as a corny cliche motto because After my 5oth Scarface screening it seemed to fit accordingly, I also wanted to take over the city as Tony did minus the cocaine/killings. "Sky's the limit" definitely held a infinite spot on my lively motto roster from 97 when I first heard the biggie song, however like most that aren't practiced they are as quickly forgotten. In my life I have so many different thoughts, ideas, phrases, jokes, etc just doing 300mph a day daily. So my motto of "Work hard, play hard" at 9AM will quickly change to "Bros before hoes" at 3pm.

A motto is a great thing to have and live by, sometimes if lost it can provide guidance and reassurance that you need to stay on track and get things accomplished. so today doing my usual blog scroll , I came across a quote for non other than the Rev Run of Run-Dmc/Run's House Fame, "The one thing you must do to win and keep winning IS NEVER, EVER lose your momentum... Keep the flame lit! (Remember this!) The people who do things that count, usually don't stop to count them". I comprehended the meaning, but I had to re-read at least 4 or 5times to fully get the gist of what he was trying to say. I think about in life how much we pat ourselves on the back when we do one little thing and get complacent with that one accomplishment, instead of using each accomplishment as a stepping stone and continuing to work a little harder and strive more for bigger accomplishments to tackle.

I Know in this day and age motto's come up so frequently and quickly change like underwear however this is one I feel I will ride out with until I real all my goals.

The Battle Between Fresh Vs Jordan

2009-01-25T13:30:00.005-05:00

Sometimes I want to fight myself, like really give myself a T.K.O, but in the end would I win or Lose? Life is better than ever right now, a lot of positives in my life, Outlook on life is better than it's ever been, However here comes the BUT, I still find myself struggling between my two sides. I believe everybody have 2 or 3 sides to them. It seems every great character fictional or not struggles with their identity Bruce Wayne, Peter Parker, Air Jordan.

Sometimes Identity is harder to mask than feelings. I often find my self in a struggle of power between Fresh and Jordan. I know some of you are think how the hell can you be in a battle between yourself. Well it's quite simple Sometimes I feel as if I'm two different characters.

J.O Fre$H : He is a Polo abusing, Sarcastic, Alcoholic, Carefree, Man Whore, selfish, Materialistic, Jerk. I'm sure theres more but I don't want to go on for sentences. J.O was a character developed in my High School years when i was a popular Jock. Jordan is my name so J.O was much cooler than Jordan and since I was a "label whore" , I was dubbed fresh if your good at equations J.O + Fresh = J.O Fre$h. Now it's a been a while since my high school days and I still find myself doing Fre$h things, Such as still shopping, being selfish, Not caring about other feelings, Extremely sarcastic and comical to the point where I hurt peoples feelings.

Jordan: Fresh and Jordan are easily Day N nite. Jordan is the kind hearted, romantic, sensitive, caring, family orientated, goal dominated, focused, Crazed sports fan, technological whiz. It amazes me How I can easily be this gentle person who can care about people and turn around and do a complete 180. Jordan is the one who will put others need ahead of his, was the one who set goals and planned for the bright future.

Now with every super hero theres a climatic point in there lives where the "other" side was forced to come out, However with myself I can't figure out what keeps bring out fresh. Like two years ago I told everyone to stop calling me "J.O" and Just Jordan, It didn't last long though. No matter what I do I can't seem to shake my J.O character. I know this may sound bugged out reading this but I like the aura that J.O brings to the table, similar to Clark Kent transforming in that phone booth. Jordan is very confident, Just that J.O has that swagger that Jordan can't seem to reach, almost like a 10.0 version of myself on Cocaine an 15 red bulls.

Now I pose this question am I just copping out as an excuse to keep Fresh around or am I forever implemented with this Fresh character for the rest of my life?

How many of us have them?

2009-01-24T14:05:00.008-05:00

Crew love is like the strongest love a man can have. As life goes on you realize that it's not many people you know, but how many people you can call your friends. A friend is someone who can know what your saying without you even saying a single word, Someone who will tell you the truth even though you may not want to hear it, Have your best interest at heart, Be there through the good and bad times. Friends are very rare so when you do find some it's best you keep them close and let them know you appreciate the love.

Today I was deleting files off my computer when I came across some throwback pictures of Webb,Henz and myself. I cracked up because its funny how far we have came and how far we have to go. I was talking to webb yesterday and he was telling me today was "Homie Day". Since most of us are in relationships we have few to little time to chill and kick it. So homie day is going to be an ongoing thing, Homie day is when all of us get together go out and just chill like we used too. Webb said " We need to start kicking it at a bar or lounge before we grow far apart", I read that with a bit a confusion. It never dawned on me at 19 that we would grow apart, I always seen it as us chilling on the block, going to parties, getting fresh for the rest of our lives. The story never pans out like that we all had to grow up and do our own thing, however the effort I put in with Monkey bear, have to apply the same for the friendships to keep prospering.

Webb: Webb is sort of like your mean teacher, very stern and demanding, but at the end of the day he has your best interest at heart. Webb is the dude I call on when I need the truth and good advice, He wont sugar coat jack shit. I honestly can say I love that dude. Sometimes I'm a little envious of him, his work ethic and demeanor is way beyond his 23 years and that's why he's been able to achieve what he has at a early age. Webb is a good friend to everyone he encounters. Like I had explained in an earlier blog he used to get real tight at me because we didn't kick it at much as we used to , but now I can understand why. When the world is filled with so much bull shit you want to be close to the people who keep it 100 % authentic and that's why he will be my man forever.

Henz: Henz might be one of the few people I know who says less than 500 words a year, My son is very silent yet very loud. Henz has always been in my corner and always been like a brother to me. When we met we just became OD cool, I guess real recognize real. Henz is a very smart dude, talented and gifted , usually makes thing seem extremely easy. I know this dude can do anything he puts his mind to. A lot of people try to do music nowadays but henz never rapped until I used to egg him on like son you can do it, now he makes tracks and damn good ones at that. Me and this dude have been through a lot together and I can say he one of the most genuine dudes I've encountered.

Life is funny sometimes, you start off with a big posse and time goes by your left with less and less and when the smoke clears the few standing next to you are usually the people you ride out with for the rest of your life.

Does Technology scare anyone else?

2009-01-22T00:43:00.004-05:00

Apparently apple has an "app" or application which lets you locate a person exact position. A woman definitely had to be the inventor of something like this. No more "oh baby I'm chilling with the homies" She can pin point you to your ex shorties house or the local strip joint. I love the innovations and how easier technology can make your life, but are we being spoon fed too much? Are we becoming a nation of lazy, know it alls.

Look at every gadget you own and think how far each of those gadgets have changed the way in which we live. Right now I'm looking at my macbook, cellphone, television and cablebox. Each of these have come a long way, but honestly how much more can these devices change? It's scares me like what happens next from here are we soon to be ruled by techinal geeks and small robots.

I like many kids used to imagine what the "future" would be like, flying cars, silver space boots, personal lucilles for everyone, almost like a real life jetson's episode. Honestly I'm scared of what the technological advances have in store for us. It's sad when we look for a video game system to work out, check a website for health situations or are too lazy to manually press buttons on a keypad so we need touch screen. I know I can't be the only person feeling this way....

"We aint ready to see a BLACK President....."

2009-01-20T00:20:00.004-05:00

Sorry Pac you were wrong buddy. I know today is going to be filled with cheesy inauguration post, So I decided to do mine with a little twist. I'm elated to be able to say that in my time I was able to live under the reign of a black leader. My child will also be the first generation of many babies who can speak about having grew up during the Obama administration. So in Lew of all the excitement I decided to post an essential Kit for tonight's celebration:

1.Attire
Even though I won't be attending the inauguration, I still feel it's appropriate for me to dress up. I usually wear a polo shirt, Jeans and ACG's but tonight I will get my "Grown-Man" on. I feel like it's only right to wear a nice collared shirt with a good slack, Want to start the new term off correctly with a good outfit as almost a sign off good things to come. For the people that are going to dress up ladies, lets keep the "skin" to a minimum and fellas lets pull up those pants as a sign of respect of all we've worked for and a sign of things to come in the future.

2. Family/Friends
Tonight is the time when we you want to be around everybody , similar to a BBQ in the middle of the summer. I mean if possible all generations should be together witnessing this historic event. From Granny to down to the new born baby.

3. Food
You know no black event goes down without some good cooking. So if you can have someone prepare some baked mac n cheese, Collard greens, cornbread fried chicken and a sweet potato pie. I mean I know it's a Tuesday but this type of celebration only happens once in a life time.

4. Drinks
Put down that 40 or that cheap 10 bottle of Bacardi limon. Crack open the fine stuff get a nice fine wine from '73 or a good bubbly, I love my Andre's but tonight I think the moet will get dusted off for the big homie Barack. Even though it's a Tuesday and the majority of us have to work Wednesday Morning enjoy a nice drink with your friends and family, However you know if you ever been to a black gathering once the drinks start flowing the ......

5. Music
Now as most of you can tell Rap is my favorite musical genre but tonight I feel it's only appropriate that whom ever the DJ is where you are play that good ole funk music, that get you out your seat, cup/glass in your hand, spin around three times and clap music. I mean it is a celebration so we should play music that reflects that I mean "single ladies" and "she got a donk" are cool for Sasha's 23rd bday party but tonight time to break out that Good Good throwback funk music.

So with that Said Hope and Change Have finally arrived. I hope everyone enjoy's their night and spends it with the people who mean the most to them, I know I will.

The Office

2009-01-18T12:21:00.004-05:00

No matter what career path you have at some point, you've worked in an environment like this or know someone who has. This show is a remake of the british cult classic and is actually one of the greatest TV shows I've ever seen.

If you can please watch this show. This is what you call Television at its finest. Tues on TBS at 10pm & 10:30 pm. Thurs on NBC @ 9:oopm

Sky's the Limit

2009-01-17T19:48:00.017-05:00

"It was all a dream...." and with that the infatuation and admiration came. Me being a Queens dude I had so much love and respect for the Notorious B.I.G like you wouldn't understand. I remember being in 2ND grade Circa 1994, heading to the coney Island aquarium on school field trip and a classmate Delano(R.I.P.) Letting me hear the Tape he jacked from his older brother, which was titled Ready to Die. He let me hear a raunchy Interlude on the B-side, "F--k me", We both giggled and laughed as we never heard talk like that before and for it to be on a music tape was very weird, yet funny and somewhat cool. That was my first introduction to the man known as Biggie Smalls but it wouldn't be my last.

Every city Has a hero whether it be Music, Sports, Political, Illegal. NYC is the mecca of heroes, Being the nations greatest city(arguably) we have many heroes. However Besides King, X(Shabazz), Jordan theres Wallace. Christopher Wallace that is, AKA Notorious B.I.G AKA Frank White AKA Biggie Smalls aka The greatest rapper ever.

Now if your not from N.Y. you can't really appreciate the rapper or the person, I mean its like that for every region, L.A/ With snoop or PAC, 'the bay' with E-40 and mistah fab, Chi-town with the step music or even Dc with go-go.

Big touched many lives, he told a story of the inner city who had everything but had nothing. His stories were so vivid, From Arizona Ron, To too cool Jermaine, Or his man O, How could you forget about the alligators he had sewn on his shirts. Some people are blessed with gifts and biggie was one of them.

Last night while watching the movie I realized some people have to go before their time for people to truly appreciate. While Big was alive he was definitely appreciated but people don't open their eyes usually until some passes away. Big depicted everything a great rapper should be Witty, Charismatic, Fashionable, Charming, Entertaining and most of all Nice on the Mic. Ready to Die was a dope album maybe top 15 all time, But life after Death is what solidified his spot as the greatest. Big stepped it up so many notches its not even funny, Ready to die can be compared to Jordan winning championships from 91-93 you were hyped to finally see him and win and the way he did it, While Life after death was when Jordan solidified his spot gracefully, elegant and broke records. I know many people aren't Biggie fans, some were just a fan of his singles and know that he was the guy who had beef with Tupac however his life and music meant so much more than that. Big single handily made Being a thug who made dance music cool, He did songs with everyone from super cat to the king of pop, even slam dunked a sweet 16 bars for Shaq diesel, carried the east coast on his Back at a time when Death Row Records could do no wrong. Introduced Us to Jay-z, Cam'ron Ma$e and is the reason why diddy thinks he can rap now.

TOP 10 Biggie Songs
10. Title:"I Love the Dough" Featuring Jay-Z
Album: Life After Death (Disc 1)

"Ain't Shit change , except the number after the dot on the range"

9. Title: B.I.G Interlude
Album: Life After Death (Disc 1)

B. Is the for the bitches who can't understand one fly nigga who became a man
I. Is the for way it goes in an out, one by one I knocks em out
G. Is the for the way the game goes in the gutta other mc's man they ain't say nothing.......

8. Title: "Players Anthem" Featuring Lil'Kim, Lil' Cease
Album : Conspiracy Theory

"How you living biggie smalls? I'm surrounded by criminals, heavy rollers, even the shiesty individuals...."

7. Title: "Who Shot ya"
Album: Born Again

"Who shot ya, Separate the weak from the Ob-so-lete...."

6. Title : "Warning"
Album: Ready to Die

"Who the F--- is this paging me at 5:46 in the morning....."

5. Title "One More Chance/Stay with me Remix"
Album: Notorious SDTK

"Black and ugly as ever however I stay coogi down to the socks..."

4. Title: Juicy
Album: Ready to Die

"Time to get paid, Blow up like the world trade...."

3. Title: Suicidal Thoughts
Album : Ready to Die

"When I die , F--- it I wanna go to hell, I'm a piece of shit, it ain't hard to tell, it don't make sense going to heaven with the goodie goodies, Dressed in white I like black tims and Black hoodies, God Will probably have me on some real strict shit, No sleeping all day no getting my dick licked, hanging with the goodie goodies lounging in paradise, fuck that shit I wanna tote guns and shoot dice, All my life I been considered as the worst,lying to mother even stealing out her purse, crime after crime from drugs to extortion I know my mother wish she got a f---ing abortion....."

2. Title: I got a story to tell
Album: Life After Death

"This goes out to all that niggas that be f---ing mad bitches in other niggas crib"

1B. Title: "Brooklyn's Finest" Featuring Jay-z
Album : Reasonable Finest

"if faith had twins she probably have 2 pac's ...."

1A. Title : My Downfall Featuring DMC(of Run-DMC)
Album: Life After Death Disc 2

"Look man you wanna see me locked up, shot up, Mom's crouched up,over the casket screaming bastard, crying...."

1. Title: Sky's the limit
Album: Life After Death Disc 2

"While we out here, say the hustlers prayer,If the game shakes me or breaks me, I hope it makes me a better man, Take a better stand,Put money in my moms hand, Get my daughter this college plan, so she don't need no man,Stay far from timid,Only make moves when ya heart's in it, And live the phrase Sky's The Limit, Motherfucker... see you chumps on top"

The best to ever do it, the best who ever did it, The real King Of NY Mr . Christopher Wallace

I Got a habit.

2009-01-15T22:35:00.009-05:00

I'm not sure if the majority of the people who read my blog would even know who Max B is, or even care to know. Max B is a Harlem rapper was down with Jim Jones and signed to Bryd Gang Records, However Max had a big falling out with Jim over monies owed to him and such. During his stint at the record label, Max Recorded a song Called "I got a habit", this song has bonifide hit written all over it, but it never made it to the light, so I'm giving you a chance to hear the song. Enjoy!

Well if you skipped over the video, like I do sometime(LOL). Max is basically talking about a relationship between him and the lady in his life. In the introduction of the song Max raps "We all have that special person we love, A little ride or die.....". Well this blog is a post for monkey bear, she always ask me why I don't blog about her or why she's constantly reffered to as the "belly".

Well Monkey Bear and originally met back in late 2004 and have been rocking out since. She's a genuinely nice person and always has my back. I used to listen to a lot of R. kelly however before meeting her "a woman's worth" didn't make sense, now it describes her to a T. I can honestly say besides three of my boys shes like one of the main people I can rely on. Somewhat insecure(I can take the blame for that), Overprotective and worries a lot, but I'm glad she does. I know when life get crazy she always the one to make things right and erase the pain. Now I look back on the painful things I did, cheating, Fighting, disrespecting her, I feel like that ne-yo song "why does she stay", Honestly any other girl wouldn't put up with half the mess I put her through. No she isn't the baddest girl in streets, nor the flyest or best pyshique but just right for me and thats why I'm glad we'll embark on this journey together. I originally wanted to save this post for February 14 but that would've been so cliche and cheesy. So with this post I dedicate it to the girl that no girl can replace, future Wife, Soon Baby Mother to be, My monkey bear ;-)

Worst day EVER?

2009-01-13T22:07:00.004-05:00

You ever have a day so bad? Where it seems like nothing is going your way? Well today I woke up late, Couldn't find my car keys, Get to work and the majority of these test tubes called out and was yelled at by some retarded hispanic lady because her New HDTV wasn't showing in HD(Perhaps investing in a HD box would help?) So as I'm about to reach my boiling point, glance over at the g-shock and it's 8:27 which means Almost 8:30 punch out time. So I stop by the china man to get a dish to come home watch hdtv then bad girls club then my dvr'd episodes of the office, to hopefully help cheer me up. When I come across hands down the most ignorant video I've ever seen, this instantly cheered me up and I'm feeling much better now

Enjoy

The Pursuit of Happiness : Female Edition

2009-01-13T00:37:00.003-05:00

What do woman really want? What keeps a woman Happy? Will a woman ever be completely satisfied? What are the steps in order to keep a woman happy?

Those are all questions men have asked them selves since the dawn of time, when we put the lego's down and took and interest in the opposite sex. As a teenager I figured when I hit adult hood woman would be easier to understand, boy was I wrong!

My boy Webb and I had our weekly "Man" conversation, where we touch on Sports, Financial issues, politics and of course our belly's. So we each came to the conclusion that there is no pleasing the female species, No matter how well they are treated and how much you do there is no middle ground for happiness. Myself I just gave up trying to understand my belly I understand she is going to be her no what and something in life cannot be understood and she is one of them.

It seems like there are men all over the country trying to figure it out WHAT IS EXACTLY woman need to stop complaining, worrying and just be HAPPY!

If you ain't got it, You AINT GOT IT

2009-01-12T01:35:00.005-05:00

"SO YOU JUST GONE FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT HUH?" - Jay-Z

The sign pictured above is usually the 2nd place out of towner's go after they check in to their hotel. If you've never heard of the place located in Lower East side of Manhattan and it's famous for it's strip of "Sidewalk boutiques", the place is Canal Street. Here you can buy a "L.V Damier" handbag for $50 and matching "L.V" Scarf for $10. Now myself I've never owned anything fake and never plan on to, I live by a simple motto: If I can't afford it, I don't need it, simple. However I don't think many people get the gist of that. My biggest problem with NY'ers is that everybody is trying to portray and image, live in some fantasy world, where they appear to be something that they clearly are not. For instance every girl is so couture and Model status now but what they fail to realize is that there's nothing couture about spending your last $300 on a pair of Prada sneakers or not being able to afford $20 to get into a night club. Like seriously Ask yourself this question do you think Lauren from the hills or Vanessa or Angela would be buying these high class items if they had to come home to a section 8 apartment ?

Now there's this guys we will call him "Cool Dude". "Cool Dude" works at my job, average black male listens to rap, wear sneakers, appears to be fashionably hip to the latest trends, wear a lot of "Flashy" jewelry, Sounds good right? RIGHT? Just one problem all of it is FAKE. Now "Cool Dude" is not a bad person at all, I sometimes converse with the guy at lunch, we touch on random topics, From girls, sports, music and latest clothing, except he always try to down play others, Now myself I'm not the best dressed guy nor am I the worst, but I take pride in purchasing authentic items and never trying to be someone I'm not. However today I was very close to calling out "Cool Dude" on his FUGAZZI attire. I try to be a jerk, but it's just not in me at heart I'm a very kind person who seems to care about peoples feelings too much.

I understand in life we all want the finer things but why try to be someone your not and buy things you know and most likely the people who are up on fashion know are not authentic? Like how can you honestly hold your head high knowing you purchased a product that's not real to portray an image. I blame the movie stars, rappers and other socialites on this. People without the proper funds need to wake up and realize the people who have all of these finer things can actually afford them and you can't which is why you're wearing the knock offs and not the authentic things.

I couldn't finish off the blog without touching on these people too. Back in High School I had a friend we will call him "Har". " Har" and I were very close because we shared a mutual interest in clothes and music. So one day I asked "Har" why he never comes out with us on weekend "Har" Response was that "I like to get fly but I always spend my last on it", I looked at "Har" with a look of disgust but couldn't help but laugh in his face like wow , so you buy all these clothes to look good in school and come home to stare at the walls in your house in a new coogi or iceberg sweater. SMH

Last year I was friends with a girl we shall Call "N dot Baby". "N dot baby" was a very fashionable girl or at least I thought, "N dot baby" always knew about the latest designers and spent much of her conversations talking about them. So during one of our conversations I asked "N dot baby" why doesn't she buy some clothes from the designer's she seems to always be promoting "I would love to if I had the money" I wanted to scream at her say female-dog we would all love to buy things if we had the money but that doesn't mean we should spend every living moment talking about and promoting them.

It's 2009 people will wake up and realize in the end your image no one cares about, Unless your a soon to be superstar i doubt you will have paparazzi following your every move making sure you always have on the latest designer or ridiculing you on the E channel Just be yourself, Because in the end NO ONE CARES.

*Plays Kanye - All falls down*

How many is TOO many?

2009-01-09T01:08:00.008-05:00

"Nah my dude I'm good, I don't want that P****y, Everybody hit that" - Random guy

Promiscuous girls are usually looked at as pops or slides. I guess it because woman are held to a higher regard than man with the way they go about their sexual dealings. A woman's body is usually looked at as a temple, in a spiritual way, heavenly like. So I guess with each sexual partner she has the value of the vagina seems to plummet. I myself wouldn't want a woman with more than 5 sexual partners, even 5 is high but as you get older you have to realize that a woman is going to encounter a lot of dudes and occasionally sleep with one of those guys. Let me present a hypothetical situation, In Middle School or High School she may have 1 partner, then college comes where she lets loose and has a modest 2 partners, already past the half way point to 5, then the woman bumps into the guy she thought she could never have 4 and they she meets you which makes 5.

"Ill girls he's a man whore, he'd f*** anything moving, hell even stuff that can't move"

Sexually active guys are usually looked at as pimps or "that dude", Not to incriminate anybody but hell even some of my dudes seem to be in a "rat race" to see who can get the most "bodies". With men our penis is like our special attribute. It's what "makes" us, it's pretty symbolic somewhat of a trophy. As a man myself I love mine and I'm pretty sure other male readers would agree with me. Since the majority of males start having sexual intercourse at a young age it would be difficult for me to conduct a hypothetical situation here goes on though. Young man meets girl in lets say 8th grade, has first experience then becomes hooked on the power of the p, so high school and college he racks up an addition 12 partners. The young man is now at 13.

So one day the young lady is out shopping and the young man so happens to be at the same location and they happen to "bag" each other. They chat with each other dig each others vibe, express feelings, share secrets, basically the whole scene is perfect. Until they each began to divulge into that closet to pull out the skeletons on their sexual history. The young lady swore she would never talk to a man who had more than 10 and the man swore he wouldn't talk to a lady with more than 5. Now I pose this question in this situation who is right? Should there a be limit on sexual partners? Should a partners PAST be an issue? I mean it is the past right.

"I got daughters on the way"

2009-01-08T00:49:00.004-05:00

No I really don't have daughters on the way, actually I don't know what I have on the way yet because the belly is only 7 weeks in. During a mental ipod session, you know where a song comes in your head and keeps playing all day in your head until you actually hear it, Well Jay-z "Beach Chair" came on and that line had me thinking. I've always heard if you treat women well you have a son and if your a "dog" you have girls. Needless to say I believed in this because both my dudes caught girls on their first try, But my cousin who might be Goldie reincarnated has a boy so that theory automatically becomes flawed, right? Now I'm up next with the gender unknown still at this point, Honestly I'm so nervous, I'm not what one would consider a dog , but I've had a little bite and bark in my past. I haven't always been the most faithful and trustworthy boyfriend but shouldn't I get a leniency for putting in a change now. I wish there was like some pregnancy judge I could speak to and plead my case. Everybody think it's going to be a boy and I really hope it is. Like I know how I was as a young dude growing up and I would be scared shitless knowing I had daughter who potentially run into a 2.o version of myself.

I wouldn't want to be an overprotective father but I have a feeling if I had a daughter I would be one of the "Crazy pops", you know when you like a girl but you were scared to come around or call because her dad was crazy. But it's crazy because the girls who had the overprotective parents were the girls popping off before everybody else and were usually the one who ended up with kids,std s,etc first. So basically it's a damned if you do damned if you don't situation. I don't know how the younger generation is getting down these days, But I was getting involved at a very early age and it's scares me to think that daddy's little girl could one of the girls getting "down".

Maybe I sound a little bias right now, which I pretty much am , But its because I think boys are a million times easier to raise, get them some clothes video games and music , sports and a great parental figure and they're good, well its not that easy but you get the jist of what I'm trying to say. Honestly at this point I just want a baby that's going to be healthy but If I have a girl I will be happy that its alive and healthy but I will cry, Seriously....

I dont care...

2009-01-07T01:24:00.003-05:00

"I don't care"
"It's not that serious"

These words quotes usually come before or after each other. Usually said after an argument in which the other side felt ridiculed or was proven wrong. The term is reminiscent of a child who is upset and says "I'm not your friend anymore". It really irks me when someone says this, because 9/10 they brought the topic of discussion up and because they didnt recieve the answer they were looking for , "It's not that serious, I Don't care".

This might be my shortest blog ever but I just wanted to vent about that. I know others have to feel the same way I do about that.

Fashion Randomness with Delia

2009-01-06T03:57:00.006-05:00

I meant to post this the other night but I was being a lazy bum as usual. So I usually have random 2am convos with my homie Adelia So today i decided to record a video chat with her since we were both using a mac.

We touched on a few subjects and other randomness enjoy!

Liar Liar

2009-01-04T04:12:00.003-05:00

" I want the truth"
"Why can't you be honest with me"
"Tell me the truth, I won't get mad, I promise"
"God, I can't Stand Liars"
"I lie to you, cause I care about your feelings"

Since the dawn of time people have been lying, Hell my own race was lied to , thats why we're now called African- AMERICANS. Lying seems to be apart of every civilization, from high power political figures, lying about changes going to be made to economic conditions or the homeless man lying about the money he needs for food that will be used for some alcoholic beverage or illegal drug. As a civilization we've grown accustom to the 'white lie'. A 'white lie" can be defined as an unimportant lie (especially one told to be tactful or polite). I'm what you would call a Black-White liar, a black person who tells white lies all day.

Now there are different type of liars, the compulsive liar, the fronter and then the Black-white liar. The compulsive liar is by far the worst, a compulsive liar is someone who tell you they were in the twin towers the days of the 9-11, was burned and hit by the plane but still managed to make it from the 92nd floor to tell you their story. The fronter(which we all know) is the person who will lie to improve their self esteem or make their image greater than what it is, basically compensating for something that's missing from inside. Then you have the White liar, the person who lies to not crush people feelings or basically sugar coat things.

In the 1995 'cult' Classic "Liar, Liar" Jim carey plays an attorney who is basically what I am an white liar. Jim lied to everyone , everything all day just to help his day because his honesty would potentially ruin everything he worked for. Jim excuse for lying was that "I'm a lawyer, I'm supposed to lie" until his son made a wish on his birthday that he would no longer be able to lie. It definitely didnt work out in his favor, he said mean things and potentially dug a hole for himself.

My problem is I care too much about feelings, However last year I learned that I showed way too much love to people who potentially dicked me over in the end. I forgot who said this but I think it's an very appropriate quote "Show no love, Love will get you killed", However my task for this month is going to be not to tell any white lies and keep it as "Funky" as possible and see how many people are still talking to me, LOL I will keep you guys updated on the progress...

Where has the time gone?

2009-01-02T01:40:00.005-05:00

Today The belly and I were taking down the Christmas tree and I was forced to go to the attic to put this lug of a tree back in its place until next November. So anyway while in the attic I found a box titled "Jordan's stuff" so the nosy young man I am I beasted to open the u haul box only to find like a time capsule, I found dream cast controllers, PlayStation 1 controllers, PlayStation video games, and my Middle school year book. I havent seen this book in about 7 or 8 years. So as I place the tree back in it's dark corner location, I hurry down the cranky wooden ladder to comb through the box and review my year book, as I combing I stumble upon a couple of albums I decided to added to my itunes immediatley.

I finally open the year book and I'm reading the comments and I start blushing like "Damn I musta been THAT DUDE", then I get to the page 2015 predictions and for my name it said Jordan Holmes - Future Professional Basketball Player, I immediately shook my head and closed the book, almost like I just seen my granny naked with a tattoo of my grand pa name on her stomach, it was frightening. It dawned on me that its 2009 like damn where has the time gone. It seems like it was only yesterday when i was cutting school to bring a girl over to "Chill" before my mom got home, or waking up at 6am on Saturdays to go get a new pair of sneakers or Staying on the phone till after 9 so that any call after 9 wouldn't wake my mother up(LOL).

However on a serious note I can't believe its 2009 already it feels like it was only last year when people were bugging out about y2k or I was learning to drive, now I'm 22. This year is going to be a major year it marks the 5th year since I've graduated High School, in about 8 months I will be someones father and I begin my career in a new field I've never thought about entering. Honestly each year that goes by scares me, I have so many things I want to accomplish and it feels like there's not enough time to get it all done. Is it too early to start a bucket list?

The one thing I realized writing this blog is that time waits for no man, not even myself, so with that said I wish everybody a prosperous year and Hope each and everyone of us can get what we want done this year, i know I'm going to try my best.

EDIT:
Oh yeah if you can try this out very nice :-)

Waste of a blog....

2008-12-29T23:23:00.003-05:00

Seinfield did it, Martin did it, and Now I will do it. Waste an entirely good episode on bloppers, well not an episode but a blog. Like all good things this year must come to an end, So I leave you with two video blogs I messed up on Just so I could say I posted one last time before the new years. With that said I wish Everyone a great new year, Drink a lot, Party even harder and start the year off with a fresh new slate. Much prosperity wished to everyone who supports myself and the blog Much love.

The Year 200Great

2008-12-26T00:09:00.031-05:00

Hey everyone, I know it's been a while since I blogged, I apologize but here I am with a blog worth wait. After 2006 I felt there couldn't have been a worse year boy was I wrong 2007 was terrible. It seemed as if everything that could go wrong did, My homie died, Sold My car, Put school on hold etc etc. So I went into 2008 with a nonchalant attitude like it has to get better and it certainly did. I think the ambitious side of everyone came out this year, It seemed like as if everyone I knew was about chasing what they wanted and not waiting for it too fall into their lap. This year I was able to develop new relationships and friendship with people I never thought I would be closer to. I became closer with family, went through life experiences I needed to go through to make me a better a man, also developed a new hobby I personally hated in my school years, writing. Of course we the saw the rise of one Obama and the fall of others Bush, witnessed the worst economic conditions in quite some time and was possibly put through the most annoying phase(Auto-tune) of black music since the "shiny suits", through all of that this was one of the better years of my life. 2009 is looking like an even better one thanks to the New edition on the WAY..... Of course any good blogs needs to pics to accommodate.

So Early 2008 I decided to start off with a beard similar to Lebron

That quickly phased out when I then wanted to see how far I could go....

In between all the facial hair I was able to meet my favorite rapper....

Only to continue with more facial hair.....

Only to revert back to something shorter in the summer......

Spent a lot of time with that white cup this summer lol

my circle grew tighter....

Partied a lil more

a few hangovers....

Partied a lil more.....

Turned 22 Celebrated very well....

Slowed down to put things back together......

Got my mac book and thats when Life changed lol....

Built a stronger bond with this man.....

Only to party a lil more and have a tad bit more fun.....

Met the person behind who inspired the beard lol and Partied more.....

Watched my boy start off on the good foot with fatherhood

And last but not least made it right with my Baby mother to be......

All in all a great year....Can't wait to see what 2009 has in store for me

2nd Childhood.(Video Blog)

2008-12-21T02:46:00.004-05:00

"All his peoples moved on in life, hes on the corners at night/With young dudes its them he wanna be like/Its sad but its fun to him right? he never grew up/31 and cant give his youth, hes in his second childhood" - Nasir Jones

Would you read?

2008-12-21T02:28:00.005-05:00

"Listen if they wrote a book on your life you think anybody will read it?" - A.Z.

I was 14 when I first heard that quote, I couldn't fully understand how relevant this would be in my life right now. I first interpreted A.Z. as just using his Witt to make a statement, but the more I thought about it your life has to be very entertaining for a person to sit through a large collections of thoughts and ideas.I know if a large number of people wrote a book, it would likely go unread. I'm not saying that I'm the world's most important person nor am I saying my life is that dull I just feel like I also think about people I encounter everyday, majority of the people have very dull energy and such non charismatic features about them. Television has become a staple in today's society because everyone wants to see, Visualizing and Imagination are pretty much a thing of the past. This media age has turned us into very nosy people, wanting to track and follow a persons every move and what better way than to do with a television. Think to yourself what if a book about you could captivate the same reaction out of a person the watch they watch television. Honestly since I thought about that the quote the other day, I been trying to live my life as if someone would write a book about me someday. Meaning capitalizing on important moments, doing exciting things and not falling victim to a regular dull routine. Hopefully someday I will be able to tell whether or not people would read my book. Now my question to you is would someone read yours?

The Break up...

2008-12-18T01:14:00.004-05:00

Him : I hate you I can't stand you
Her : F you too I wish I never met you
Him : Whatever I don't need you anyway I'm out
Her : Go ahead and leave then you wasn't shit anyway
Him : * Open doors, Slam doors and Leaves*

Now that was a fictional break up, some break ups are worse and often SOMETIMES very mutual and peaceful. People usually break up for many reasons Infidelity, Monetary,Long Distance, grew apart or just wanting to test the waters. However when you break up with someone there's always a possibility of you and that person reuniting somewhere down the line. Now my question is when you break up with someone do you remain friends? If so how do you remain friends with someone who you were once in love with(if ever?)Do you Share new sexual encounters? Secrets? Hang out? Speak every day? Once a week? Monthly? Yearly? How does this work? I've technically only had one real girlfriend in my life, Yes I had the whole she's my girl in high School, Junior High thing but I'm talking a real definitive girl friend. During one of our many break ups, the only thing that changed was the daily communication and the title. We still did couple things, movies,dinner, sex etc etc. However I realized if I was going to shake this girl, I needed to completely leave her alone, because if we were still going to do those things we need not be broken up.

"To get over the old girl you have to find a new one" - Joe Buddens
Hmmm...Makes sense, but most people don't allow themselves the chance to get over the past, because they try to keep their past relevant without working on the future. Which is very unfair to your new mate because she will never get the full attention they deserve because your still allowing your past to roam freely in the present.

"Hard For me not see you with new man all hugged up, kisses on your neck and hands held firmly" - anonymous
Now I've never been the jealous ex type, however some are. Honestly how can you get mad at your EX for being with someone new, are they not you EX? I mean you have to live with the fact at some point they are going to move forward and move on. That's why it always kills me when I hear people hate on their ex's new mate. If you were doing your job and taking care of home that significant other would not be your ex.

I don't know where this blog came from it just popped in my head and figured I would Speak about it to see others thoughts on the whole ordeal of breaking up....

Commitment

2008-12-17T11:47:00.006-05:00

During one of our many nightly random aim conversations "Sharita" decides to pick my brain on the subject of commitment. The topic is so broad, yet very narrow when it comes to sides forming an opinion. Here is a conversation between "Sharita" and myself where we discuss the point of an commitment and the opinions each of us share.

Sharita:You know what I was thinking tho
Me: what?
Sharita:You should make a blog about commitment
Me:why should I make a blog about commitment?
Sharita: Lol
Sharita: Because everybody has diff views and problems with it today
Sharita: Excuse me if it may seem I'm implying anything but I'm not; you just seem to touch topics very well
Me: lol
Sharita: passing ideas
Sharita: just an idea is all
Me: cool
Sharita: thanks
Sharita: What do you think about it anyway if I can inquire
Me: *See's Bait*
Me: *Walks around it*
Sharita: OK forget it
Sharita: I don't even know why I asked
Me: but u did
Me: commitment is a positive and negative
Me: positive because it shows a person
Me: you are committed to what is trying to be accomplished in the relationship
and that you are putting your all into it.Negative because things can digress because too much focus is being placed on the relationship
Sharita: OK
Sharita: Females are culprits of doing both ... the negative mostly of course
Me: Commitments should never be done at a young age.P eople are still growing
and developing into their own person
Sharita: def
Me:but, what do I know?
Sharita: But it happens
Sharita: However there is a possibility a couple can grow together And with each other?
Me: that's true
Me: but in that same instance the mind is constantly growing and changing
Sharita: Yes
Me: which can lead people to grow apart
Sharita: I was about to say
Sharita: However nowadays I think, mainly females, commit more to the idea of what it could be or what they want it to be down the line
Sharita: Instead of the person they're with and the values of the relationship
see that's the problem
Me: why worry about what it could be?
Sharita: Exactly
Me: before it actually is, what's wrong with letting things flow?
Sharita: You're right
Sharita: But, Guys always commit to or can I say get comfortable with the idea of know that since their girl is "committed" to them they're always gonna be there,Or they feel they will And then run a muck
Me: most guys don't want to commit, because the majority still want whats out there. cake and eat it to situation or simply the female
Sharita: Oh yes
Me: isn't satisfying them or is satisfying them.yet they still feel there is better out there.
Sharita: Which leads to the infamous topic of cheating
Me: cheating is never going to cease!
Sharita: Which I don't think can ever be understood justified etc
Me: Cheating is all mental, a guy can stop cheating, it all comes down does he want to stop. A man is knows right from wrong, its more of a thrill like will I get caught
or if caught what will the consequences be....

Now I will stop the convo there because its slides of commitment and heads to a whole avenue, I'm not ready to ride down on this blog. Commitment is the biggest step in a relationship. Committing has always been a fear of many people, it brings me back to a blog that "JOY" wrote about the purpose of titles and such. Some like to be committed and some don't. I don't mind a commitment because it gives you almost a sense of security or shall I say safety blanket. My biggest fear of being committed was the fear of the person trying to put restraints on me or "Changing Me", When I say change trying to get me out of my bad habits or hanging with my boys. Now my question to you all is a commitment really necessary? or is it that something that society(Media Mostly) Pushes on us as an essential we need.

'Cuffin'...

2008-12-16T23:16:00.003-05:00

Spring is usually the time when most guys dead their wifeys, Summer is usually when all the monkey's come out, fall is when you do just that fall back and winter is when you cuff. Hm mm How can one define cuffin', basically when you give up the game and fall back with that special person for a season only to dead them at the beginning of the spring. Now if your a female reading this and you see your mate or his friends say that he's cuffing you be alarmed, actually be very ALARMED. I'm a vivid away message reader when I'm on jive talk, simply because I'm black, which means I'm extremely NOSY. So it's always comedy when I see people like oh cuddled up with hubby or spending QT with hubby blah blah, all the while thinking to me wasn't YOU the same person with an away MSG similar to this "Love stinks, I give up on all males tired of trying" From the month of March through October. Now lets take a look at the different variations of cuffin', Cuddling, Quality Time and the L- Word.

Cuddling
This right here should be the first red flag, if all of sudden dude wants to hold you close and watch Sex in the city re runs and nibble on your ear, you should be a little concerned. You should definitely ask yourself why wasnt this negro holding me like that in the summer and if he responds its too hot, isn't that what Air conditioners are for. But the ultimate sign is after that climax is if you get pulled close then you should say I'm definitely getting cuffed.

Quality Time
Him : Whats up what you doing
Her : Nothing watching Bad girls club
Him: You wanna' come chill, go do something?

*Alert, Alert, Alert, Alert, Alert, Alert, Alert*
Honestly like c'mon if you've dude have never done anything more than sit on his bed and watch old martin season dvd's then get it on that should raise a flag

L-word
Love isn't a word that shouldn't be spread around like some germs, but it definitely is. How can a dude love you after 3 weeks and then suddenly dump you as soon as the weather changes.

I made this blog because I hate to see people be so naive in thinking that a relationship can change over the course of a 2 week span, How can you be so deeply hurt by a person then be madly in love, if you know anyone that YOU may think is a victim of cuffin point them in the direction of this blog.

Dreaming....

2008-12-15T00:34:00.001-05:00

From an early age or until you breathe your last breath you dream. We dream of many things,mostly material possession, some dream for things that may better the world,however what if you can't dream? How can a person feeling dead an out of luck hope an dream. Many dreams are not easily obtainable, which is why most of the time it remains a dream and never a reality. In my life I've dreamt a lot, many of my dreams havent come true, partly due to my laziness or sense of urgency in pursuing that dream and some dreams faded into obscurity because of the urge to pursue another dream.

The great thing about dreaming is that no one can tell you how to dream, yes others may try to live their dreams through you or try to criticize the dream you have, but in the end the dream will ultimately always be your dream. At this point in my life all of the dreams I've had have either slipped away or not been pursued, I wanted to be a N.B.A player like most inner city kids, hell at one point I wanted to be Eva Pigford's love slave. Now I dream of obtaining the American Dream, Big house, cars, 2.5 kids, wife and dog etc etc But I feels like I have dreamer's block almost as if I don't have the same drive to dream as strongly as I did as a kid, Don't get me wrong I dream of certain things I would like to do or try to obtain but at this juncture of life can I afford to risk my dream from potentially getting me where I need to be at this point? I know the old saying is always follow your dreams but what if there's too much on your plate and you can't afford to take that chance on a dream? Nothing should hinder you from dreaming, however life is serious and you don't have many chances to make things happen but is it worth risking it all to follow a dream that may not pan out?

The Hangover :-(

2008-12-14T13:32:00.001-05:00

As you approach that bulletproof glass and hand over the clerk your $20 you know that the night is going to be very good but you don't even stop to think about the effects for the next morning. So you begin drinking, having a jolly ole time, drink more, socialize more, drink, dance, drinking, Nicotine break, drink and then the bottles done. So now your "Wavy" and this is a great state, feeling good everything flowing nicely and you enjoy this feeling until its fades out or you fade out.

Next Morning

You wake up feeling the sucker you are for doing your best T.I and Ron Browz renditions, you swear up and down that you will never drink anything ever again and you are a changed man. Only to realize that you were invited to a party next Friday, realizing that this cycle will repeat itself all over again :-(

It's ALMOST that time of year, AGAIN!

2008-12-13T00:53:00.001-05:00

As you drink that last bottle of sdevka, take that last drag of nicotine, have sex with that last male/female or cut off that person in you life you can stand anymore, yup it's New Years Resolution time. Ever wonder why every January 1 you see an abundance of Jenny Craig, weight watchers or NYC Smoking hot line commercials? I'll tell you why its because a bunch of JOKERS(myself included) Every year on that day compile a list of things that they are "Going" to do to make themselves better or the year better than the last. Honestly a resolution is a CROCK of BULLSHIT by the third week of the new year you've already abandoned that new gym membership or gone to see "Ak" at the corner store for that fresh pack of stogies. This year I'm not going to wait until until the 1st of the year to compile a list of fallacies i won't even think about by Jan 10th. I decided to be honest with myself this year a compile of list of things I need to get done this year to make myself better and enjoy 2009 more than I did 2008(I loved this year A LOT.)

Responsibility
Everyone considers themselves responsible, even I do, yet at time I'm a slacker and a huge procrastinator. I would like to be more organized in all facets of my life, Socially ,Financially, Time management, Love wise, Spiritually and Fashion. For the last few years I been placing the blame on a lot of my problems on others, when realistically the majority of MY problems have come from my poor decision making,so I definitely need to take more accountability for my actions. All of these things are easily obtainable, I need to cut out the negatives within each thing I listed and tackle each one head on and that would put me on the good foot.

Positivity
I found out who my true friends were this year and I realized that these are the people with whom I've chosen to form my circle with. I'm a very friendly person and naturally a people person, whoever I seem to attract a lot of good people who do negative things or seem to have negative agendas, I'm not a little boy anymore and I can't get involved with poor decision that can harm myself or family, mostly me though.

Awareness
Now I must've been under a cave because I just found out Wednesday Heath Ledger was dead while watching The Dark Knight, this can be attributed to my "hectic" schedule or me just not being in the know. I realized I spend a lot of time doing BS and not keeping up with the current events around me which is very sad, I have all these global devices yet I'm not using them to their capabilities.

In conclusion tomorrow is the day where I will begin all of the things listed, Wish me luck !

Nothing to do with the blog just hype that I met freeway:

The ghetto life

2008-12-11T01:11:00.000-05:00

Ghetto this, Ghetto that! honestly what's so good about the motherfucking hood? I'm a product of this rotten place, that many people consider heaven, honestly I would trade a lot to be a surbuban kid living in a nice town house or a gated community. Everyday I walk out my crib and wonder why do people admire this place so much. It's nothing like how the music videos or rap songs potray it to be, no glamorous woman walking around with stilletos heels, or mabachs parked on every block or thousands of dollars falling from the sky. The "hood" is like hell, mostly miniorites all struggling try to make the best of life with what little we are given. The reason I made this blog is because it's cool to appreciate where u come from, I just cant understand why some people (mostly the younger genration of black people) are happy with mediocrity, it's like get a pair of $300 sneakers, expensive designer jeans and cool chain and whip and park it in front a tenement is success(WTF).I understand that growing up in the "hood" we are deprived a lot, but AINT SHIT cool about being hood rich, because Hood Rich is basically broke, a ton of material possessions with shit to show for it, I mean think about how many fads have passed over the years or how many "hot" cars have been out.

It's like a bunch of crabs in a bucket here, as you try to rise to the top theirs nothing but negative people trying to throw you down forget about pulling. Not to mention theres nothing to do here but get in trouble, theres no malls, movie theaters,dave n busters, JACK SHIT to do but get drunk or high. As I cruise through my hood I see nothing but corner stores, chinese food spots and liquor stores now tell me how a young kid growing up can survive in an environment like that.

Let's not even mention the school system, it's not that parents don't care about their kid in school, its that our own damn Government could care less about little Terrel or shanique in the inner city when Johnny or Sarah in that nice middle class family needs that funding more for their schooling correct? In school it was so bad that we didn't even have enough text books to accommodate all the kids , so teachers came up with "group work" if your not familiar with "group work" it's basically where 5 or 6 kids get in a group to share ONE text book to do class assignments, now tell me how can a slower kid learn in that environment if he's paired with a smarter child who picks up on things faster than the slower kid and the slower kid is lost, however that slow kid is still "good" because they have a no child left behind policy, mean that no matter how bad you are in class and do on your statewide exams you will still be promoted to your next grade.

It only gets worse from there I wont touch on the Problems with pregnancy or the amount of weaponry that's flooded the community, or the amount of drugs moving through the slums daily. Everyplace has their problems its just seems like this place is overly glorified when honestly theres not too much if any to glorify here.thoughts?

Uncles

2008-12-09T12:39:00.000-05:00

Uncles are very important to young males, not for the often random drunkeness spoken to you about females in their hay day, not for the cheaper to keeper statements about dealing with your ol' lady , not even for the $20 everytime his "boat came in" when he hit the pick 4 for a couple of dollar's, but for the role model provided in your life at a time when you need a male figure to talk to. My grandmother had 5 kids two girls and three boys, now if your smart that means I have three uncles, two of which I'm not too particually fond of however I still love them because they have always been there for me. However my uncle black( real named Devon, nick named black boy because he was a darkskin dude like myself) is the man. I say this because although a southern boy , born in Alabama but raised in the city in the latter part of his life, you would never never tell he was a country bumpkin, he walks with such a swagger and is as smooth as a baby bottom. My uncle has always been one to keep the family rolling with his crazy antics at family gathering and has the liquor tolerance of a elephant the man can drink a good 8 budweisers and still not be in regular state. I honestly don't know why I made this blog other than to say uncles don't get the appreciation they should. Mothers and fathers have a national day, its time we give the uncles of the world a little appreciation. A lot of times its your uncle who you speak to about the things you can't speak to parents about and 99% of the time they are cooler than your aunts, not to say my aunts are corny, because they aren't, but my uncle is that dude. So with this blog I dedicate it to my uncle and the other uncles around the world 8-)

Social Networking?

2008-12-05T12:33:00.000-05:00

Friend from 1998: Hey how's it going?
Me : It's going well how you been?
Friend from 1998: Well I just had 8 kids, traveled to east India for a bowl of rice and cured third world STD
Me: Well I just been working and going to school :-/
Friend from 1998: oh OK

*Conversation deceases only to resume the same exact conversation in 5 months*

I'm pretty sure most of you with a Face book or my space account has been a on the receiving end of the sample conversation I just posted or potentially you could be the one posting that. However honestly what is the point of a My space or Face book? Yeah it's cool to see people you haven't seen since elementary recess days or people since 4th period lunch in High school, but honestly there's a reason you haven't spoken to Chris or Letisha, it's because you weren't that cool to begin with because all the friends that you have not via Social networks are still in your life for a reason. Face book is basically a site used for ex's and foes to spy on your life and see how well your doing in life, face book should be called spy book. Don't get me wrong Spy book is cool for certain aspects such as the Photo album aspects that way you can share pics from your walk to the store or the weekly party you attended just to take pics to put on Spy book. Now when I log on to my mac my daily site rotation is Nike talk(Music Forum, general then kicks), then I head over to my daily "Music supply" sites, check my blog and then Face book and my space. Now I question myself each time I sign on to each of these sites 1. Because an update necessary for everything little thing you do "walking to the bathroom, opening zipper, now peeing" like c'mon is that serious? 2. All these damn applications. find your baby mother brothers sister friend, Word? Let's not even talk about my space.... My space might be home of ignorant losers, I know you shouldn't say that, but when I see people with pics of a stack of 100's and mad prada boxes while confined in a small project bedroom I have to question the integrity of some people. Also whats the big deal with people going so hard for picture comments."comment mii pixxsss an I got chu bacxxxx" :-/ Since when did it become cool to type like that? It's seems like myspace is unofficial "Unsigned Hype" Section of the source as well, it is me or is every person with access to instrumental and a k-mart 9.99 microphone a rapper now? However I knew my space was in the shitter when my 9 yr old cousin whom I love to death sent me a friend request like WTF it's even worst that I can't delete TOM as my friend on my space(what part of the game is that) however what takes the cake is the fact that my space is Face book 2.0 SMH Most of the time i only log onto to these sites to make me feel better and read comments which are basically from the same people who contact me on face book. However no matter how hard I try to delete both of these sites I don't but I have a feel come new year I will succesfully be able to hit that delete button....

December 4th <<>>

2008-12-04T10:47:00.003-05:00

Brooklyn, NY is often the setting for a lot of crimes and immense poverty, However the same place that claims many lives some innocent and some well not so innocent is the birthplace of many modern day "Heroes", Michael Jordan, Carmelo Anthony, Christopher Wallace, Stephanie Mills, Marie Tyler Moore, Eddie Murphy, Kimel Watts and Shawn Corey Carter. If you've never been to Brooklyn the setting is somewhat surreal, from the newly found construction, to the Newport/car smoke that fills the already crowded streets to the Spanish bodega that sits amongst many corners while heavily stacked tenements(Called "Projects") lurk in the background, This could be the scene of any inner city in America, it's not it's Brooklyn which is a city inside itself. In the midst of all this animation I just described a young man was born in one of those tenements in one of the rougher parts of the Brooklyn community, Bed ford Stuyvesant area. The young man grew up in a single parent household, after his farther left him, which is the case for so many young man today. The young boy enjoyed school, however as you grow older in adolescent years your peers force the unnecessary materialism on you, so that young man who liked school dropped out of the traditional schooling system to pursue a degree in the school of hard knocks. The streets are funny sometime while pursuing that street knowledge many don't follow the rules and get sent to detention(Jail or Hospital) while some get expelled (Death). That young man saw either and was one of the more successful students, he was able to overcome the obstacles placed in front of him and able to switch careers which many don't see in the streets. The young man made the transition from the streets to Entertainment business. I say business because the young man had hopes of someday becoming a billionaire, Now the young man I speak of hasn't become a billionaire yet but we have watched the success and shall continue too.

Happy Birthday Shawn Carter, Jay-z AKA Young HOV <<>>

Generation Y Daddy

2008-12-03T12:34:00.000-05:00

Generation Y, sometimes referred to as "Millennials" or "Net Generation", whose birth years range anywhere from the second half of the 1970's to around the year 2000, depending on the source, grew up in the 1990s and 2000s

As I read this invitation from one of my good friends baby showers it dawned on me that Damn we're getting really old. It feels like just last summer we were all on "the Block" up to no good, actually it was last summer. It lead me to think that three of my main dudes are now fathers now, which is truly a blessing. It also brought me to this point will the generation Y daddy be better then the our father and our fathers father. While all indications are leading me to yes, I'm still unsure about our generation young males. The majority of them are scared to dream and the ones who dream are scared to chase those dreams, so if your scared to do that how can you be a parental figure to a infant and better yet be a role model. I pray that this Generation's "daddies" are better because honestly a lot of our fathers weren't around if around didnt take the time to understand us and raise us the way we should have been raised. Myself I was raised by strong African-American WOMAN My mother Cindy, Grandmother Lucy, Ma Ella and my aunt carol. My father was M.I.A in this whole process and I think I turned out to be a DAMN GOOD LOOK, Honestly I can't sit here and say that it doesn't pain me each and everyday that my father wasn't around or I had no male figure to call when I wanted to have sex for the first time, or come to my AAU basket ball games but I guess everything happens in life for a reason. I think the mental damage from being raised in a single parent household can scare one for life,EASILY. Most of the kids I grew up around were basically in the same situation as I, however the few that were lucky enough to get their huxtable on, I was extremely jealous of, for the simple fact I WANTED that. However as I blossom from young adult hood to a man I realize that when presented with the blessing of having a child(god willing) I wouldn't want to miss a single moment of that child's life. I look at my friends who are fathers and see that although the majority of them are not where they would like to be in their life, they still do what they HAVE to for their children, that's the way it should be. Although this generation we were presented with a lot at an early age, growing up with many advantages our fathers didn't have, technology, money etc etc it make it easier for us to realize what should and has to be done to raise the future leaders of this country. Now in no way shape or form am I ready to be daddy J.O yet I know I would definitely be the man that my child needed to raise him/her up to be the best they can be. Thoughts?

Platonic

2008-12-02T23:01:00.000-05:00

Me : Can male and female be close platonic friends?
Madame B: If your not physically attracted to them, in anyway
Me : So what your saying is no
Madame B: Lol yup, or if you knew them since they were really young
Me : LMAO
Madame B : So there like brother/sister
Me : So it's impossible
Madame B : Yup

Now most of you have a core crew of friends, myself as a male I have a lump sum of female friends, some I have known since my karl Kani, Tommy Hilfigers, Grant Hill days to present. Some I would never ever think of crossing the invisible line with for ample reasons ( No attraction, Weirdness or potentially ruining a good friendship). However when I first met my girlfriend she had a large number of male friends, honestly(all insecurities aside) it made me quite uneasy because there is not much to talk about with a adolescent male, because aside from the newest Jordan's, cars, fancy jeans or sex what really is on their mind? As hypocritical as this may sound, girls are way different, they can offer relationship advice amongst other things, not saying guys can't do the same but the majority of the time guys friends just want to pipe, and majority of them would bite if given the chance, whereas girls can offer a little more self restraint because they get offered PENIS a good 10-20 times daily. The offers might not be outright "so, so I want to have sex with you", it can be along the lines of " Damn your breast grew so big they look nice". With my female friends I try to keep the conversations as civil as possible i.e talking about current events, offering male perspectives on why their boo does what he does or basically just a ear to listen to and share thoughts with. I can honestly admit that some of my female friends are highly attractive and honestly I would bite if given the chance but then I think about the outcome of that situation, it would lead to uncanny awkwardness and not being able to see that person in the same light. In 11th grade, I dated my childhood female friend and it was very weird too look at her in the light of an intimate partner because this is the same girl I watched cry when I hit her too hard in hide and go seek and the same girl who watched me bust my lip at a 10 yr old Ice skating birthday party. But in all honesty I try to keep my distance in how close I let a female friend get because if too much time is spent together and emotions shared naturally an attraction can be developed and you might cross that invisible line. It's the reason you are close to your same sex friends the way you are because no sexual attraction can be developed because you are the same sex. But I would like to see what you guys/gals think about this subject.

The Side Piece

2008-12-01T02:44:00.000-05:00

Me: How's thing with you and wifey?
Friend : She good, But I'm with my side shorty right now.
Me: I thought you was getting out the game?
Friend: I was, but my side shorty make me appreciate wifey more

After reading those lines I know my female readers are in rage right now, while the guy readers are probably saying "Word, True, True". I believe at one point man or woman we've all had that side piece in our life whether it were for financial gain, emotional support or strictly for physical pleasure, However the side piece while fulfilling for the time being never results in the outcome you were looking for. NOBODY in life is comfortable with being 2nd or background to another person, although there are a select few who are cool with that, Not sure I understand the logic in that but to each it's own. Fabolous rapped about it, Bill Clinton brought it to the white house even arguably the greatest civil rights leader of our time Dr. Martin Luther king was guilty of it. Myself as most young men am guilty of keeping the side piece around for odd number of reasons mostly for selfish reasons. Don't get me wrong woman are just as guilty of this. With the blog I want to cover three basis, What a side piece is?, how to determine if you're a side piece and how to get rid of an side piece.

What is a Side Piece?
A side piece can defined in many ways, a man/or woman who isn't your boyfriend or girlfriend but are around for the aforementioned reasons(Financial,Emotional support or Sex). A side piece is can be relationship material but you know you never want to be in a relationship with that person, majority of the time a side piece doesn't realize that they are a side piece until they are either told or the picture begins to get clear. Telling a person that your involved is usually the safest and easiest way to have a side piece, that way they know there boundaries and each party can basically get what they want out of the situation, 99.9% of the time this transition doesn't go this smooth for two reasons A) Said side piece begins to catch feelings and want to step out of their role as side piece and be your mate B) You realize why this person is your side piece and why the relationship never progressed into anything more. Reason A can be a very dangerous situation (See: "Fatal Attraction"). In 2004 I met my girl friend at the time and was heavily involved with her but yet I couldn't shake my S.P.(Let's call her "Loca") So I kept "Loca" around for monetary reasons and for physical pleasure after a while I realized that this "Fling" was growing tiring and I couldnt hurt the woman I loved anymore, I broke the news to "Loca", she said "I'm cool with that decision and I wish you two the best", I thought that would be the last time I spoke with "Loca", only to realize "Loca" was about to involve herself in my life more than I could imagine. "Loca" began to create multiple AIM handles, Phone #'s and Create several myspace pages to stalk myself and others in my life. "Loca" told me in a phone conversation "If I cant have you no one else will". It's been three years since I told "Loca" I wanted no parts of her and she still has found a way to contact me although not as frequent she still does, so in the end a deep Lesson was learned here, If you ready for the excitement of a S.P also be ready for the disturbing side of a S.P

How to determine if your a side Piece?

I saw an away msg today that cracked me the hell up. "Should I continue to talk to someone who wants to be single?" I wanted to write something to that person like damn maam you've been Side Pieced but I left it alone. Chances are if you've been talking to a someone for more than three months and the only places you've been are to the motel, a friends bedroom or the backseat of a hooptie you are a sidepiece, not saying those are the only signs of being a sidepiece but those might be the main signs. Other key things to look for when determining if your a side piece or not are A)Communication B)Locations and C)Visibility.
COMMUNICATION
Webster defines communication as the successful conveying or sharing of ideas. The main way to tell if your a side piece is if you and said person never speak or when conversation is engaged, it is short, or during awkward periods (i.e Early morning 11pm -4am,Drunken moments, or Immense sexual cravings). The key to any successful S.P is to never get to close with that person, which means never revealing personal thoughts, engaging in heart felt conversations, basically anything done with your ACTUAL relationship mate should never be done with a side piece.

LOCATION
Location is very important in dealing with a side piece you should never bring a side peice places you've taken your mate because in the end it can lead to trouble(Waiter Might identify you, or might bump into people you know). Most side pieces are happy just to be around because they are finally getting to see you whether you are chillin on your block drinking some wavy juice or at at applebees for a low budget dinner.

VISIBILITY

This might be the most important symbol regarding whether your are a sidepiece or not. If you've never met any of said person's friends or family or if said person always choose to go to remote locations or keep you indoors you might be a side piece. I mean in the rare occasion that said person does take you watch for certain mannerism such as distance or affectionate gestures if there is none than can mean you are a side piece.

How to get rid of Sidepiece?
The answer to this is to not to get involved with a side piece. The outcome will do nothing but create a headache that is not needed. If caught you risk losing the side piece and the person you are in the relationship with so in the end it is basically a lose-lose situation. Once the trust is lost with the person you care about in the relationship you will look at the side piece in disgust and regret all dealings with that person, so avoid the risk at all cost.

This blog was in no way to incriminate myself, "Share secrets", everything I stated was basically common knowledge I just wanted to make a blog most can relate too and see the feedback.....

Heels On!

2008-11-30T01:14:00.000-05:00

Everybody has that current jam that inspires weird yet unique thoughts, the song that did that to me was Slim featuring young berg "Heels on" Basically slim is talking about how he wants to make love to a women with her heels on, now this is one my fantasies as well but the song made me think how sexy is it for a woman just to have heels on in general. I can't say I've always enjoyed the heels look on a woman but I think it was around the time dangerous in love came out in the summer of 03 When I saw beyonce' with those red ones on when I looked like wow shes really doing it, however I was only 17 at the time so I was still in high school and I was still fascinated by girls in size 5 1/2 Cocaine's, Jordan's and air max's. Now at the tender age of 22 the first thing I notice on a woman's body is her shoes, then appropriately the other "Golden areas", if she doesn't have "Mean Shoe Game" I must admit the attraction is quickly gutted. I feel like the shoe is like a representation of who you are, it's like if some random person on the street came up to you and looked at your shoes and said "what do your shoes say about you?", would you respond "Oh they're beat and dirty like me". From a guys perspective I think heels represent that womanly feel about a woman, its sorta like make up or painted nails things than ONLY a woman should be wearing and if executed properly represents all that's beautiful about the woman species. Im not an "expert" when it comes to heels but I like the all types, with the exception of those with the big chunky bottom and real skinny heel and the ones where it looks its smashing the toes up(LOL). I dont know if these can really be considered Heels but the Boots version with they tuck the jeans in the boots are OD Sexy(OWWWWWW). However I feel like you need a certain swagger to pull off the excellent heel look.

Soul Food Minus me

2008-11-26T18:54:00.000-05:00

I'm 22, but for 21 years I've been spoiled enough to have my whole family together on thanksgiving. Tomorrow is the first time I will be without my family on thanksgiving, actually I'll be without everybody :-( Just like with anything in life when you get used to having something you take it for granted. For the majority of my life I lived at my grandma's house so if you come from a black household like I do, you know your grandma's crib is the headquarters for anything family related. I recall the night before thanksgiving being the most dramatic night of the year my grandma, moms and aunt carol all scrambling in the kitchen seasoning food, hustling and buss ling in the kitchen trying to get a big feast ready for the family, me as a kid sitting there trying to devour a plan to sneak one of the many sweet potatoes pies up to my room without getting caught(LMAO). There's so many aspects that makes thanksgiving a great holiday just seeing a whole family unite for a time to give thanks is one of the most beautiful things you can ever witness. I know at times family can be annoying, but the older you get you realize how important is it to have that love and support around you, especially when you see how phony this world can be on a daily basis.It was almost reminiscent of Christmas with the anticipation to see family you haven't seen all year, from your aunt who was cheap and gave you bad gifts or to the cousin who swore he was better than you or the uncle(s) who wanted to lecture you about everything it was all amazing as I look back on it. Honestly, The best part about thanks giving besides seeing my family was playing video games with my cousins until a fight ensued over "cheesing" or "screen raping" I used to look forward to that so much, being an only child it was just me all the time so when it was a house with peers around my age was also cool. I def can't forgot the soul train affair that happened once all the food was eaten and alcohol started flowing, if your black you should once black people get drunk they turn any affair into a night club LMAO I guess I'm just sitting here reflecting because for the first time I'm going to be without my family on my favorite holidays and it really sucks not to mention the fact I have to work :-( Well next year I'm good to do everything in my power not to miss Thanksgiving with my family. So on this thanksgiving I'm thankful to have a family to miss.

If I were a girl....

2008-11-25T01:30:00.000-05:00

It's funny how every time a female singer comes out with a little song of endearment girls starts feeling like they are superwoman, not saying that they aren't but lets be serious woman have just as many flaws as men if not MORE Its funny how girls complain ALL THE TIME that there are no good men left when really each man can be a "GOOD" man if woman set it up for us to be. So I compiled a little list of things that if I were a girl I would do to ensure that my man was happy and that he would continue to be a good man.... I'm very comfortable with my sexuality, But I have to put a big no homo on this entire blog. with that out the way

1. Am I understanding enough? Can he Understand what I'm saying or I am I just rambling on about ABSOLUTELY nothing

I think most of the times girls are so happy to speak to their significant other that they just ramble on about things that have no concern on interest to us, I know as a dude my attention span is slim to none so it has to be AMAZINGLY entertaining for me to pay attention and after maybe 30 secs of you rambling I just tune it out.

2. What am I arguing about?

It seems like the female species is never happy about anything and seems to want and pick about anything. It's almost like your day isn't complete until they have a argument with us. Like oh damn my day is going so perfect but left me argue with him real quick about nothing just to complete the day :-/ Arguing is going to be apart of any relationship you should be respectful enough to love person to agree to disagree

3. Is my wow factor all together?

As a dude we all want a Bey once, Lauren London, Keyshia Cole (My personal fave) etc but the odds of the average Joe schmo bagging an exotic bad chick are slim to none. So you are left with a "good Look" shorty. A "good look" shorty is something that is not "Bad" but something your boy will see you with and be like "Who's that SON" you then reply her name and he says "That's a good look". A Good Look can turn to a SMH(Shaking my head) very fast due to the fact chicks get real comfortable when they find the man that they were looking for, meaning all that maintenance has ended. No more nails done, nice weave or even the simplest things like vickys or even a matching bra and panties are no more. Then girls wonder why the man won't take them anywhere. Girls always complain they don't want a bum or a swagger less dude. But as dudes we want the woman who we claim as our shorty to be on their a game every time we hit the streets. the wow factor can also keep a dudes eyes from wandering.

4. Is my pinky up to par?

Well first things first pinky is a Porn star(A good one too). As a dude I know I want sex a lot. Naturally our hormones are raging more than a female but girls need to understand that men we need our sexual cravings taken care of regularly. Every now and then it would be nice to come home to heels + a nice outfit from fredricks(didnt think I knew about that huh ;-)) or in the middle of the night wake your dude up and give him something to smile about for the rest of the day. Also this is so major Felatio is a GREAT I cannot stress this enough....I think it was either chris rock or Kat Williams who said this "if your over the age of 21 and your not sucking...... you should be thrown in jail and given life" Couldnt agree more its like damn is it a crime to want to please your dude. We all want a lady in the street but damn in the bed i want a porn star f a freak (LOL) Cause honestly if you gone be with someone for a lifetime you need to be able to keep them please emotionally and sexually.

5. Do I have a reason to be insecure?

This might be the most important one for the blog. I know as a dude we all have gotten caught whether it be AIM, Myspace, or Cell phone. When I say caught meaning shorty read a text message or IM from another girl only to lead to her not trusting any girl to ever speak to you again. Its like how Jodie from "baby boy" was explaining that she's so "SUSPICIOUS". Honestly if a girl took care of their man like we should be treated I honestly think we would see a decrease in cheating and creeping. Dont get me wrong not every dude is going to change and keep his penis in his pants , however the majority of us would realize what we have and appreciate it to the point we wouldnt seek the company of girl A or Girl b. I think the insecurites come from the guilt the chick feels because she know she not doing a lot of the "wow factor shit" so shes wondering in her mind what girl is taking care of him thats where the insecurity comes into play. Honestly when u go looking for something you always find it , thats why it better to just play your role and do what your supposed to do and you wont have to be insecure.

Now I know this blog will ruffle a few feathers, however it needed to be addressed. In no way am I saying guys are perfect but we have wants and needs just like you gals. depending on the feedback of this I may do a pt.2 with more insight and a little more indepth list....

Restart Button on Life?

2008-11-24T00:04:00.000-05:00

Gotta Learn to live with regrets - JAY-Z

I know we all have that point in life where you look at your life like damn How did I get here? Like where did I go wrong? Well today while at work(A PLACE I UTTERLY HATE) I was like damn what did I do so wrong in my life to be working here. Granted I have a job and I'm very thankful for that but its like Damn I had to make some poor choices to be here, an quite honestly I did. Its like I look back on my life and wonder like damn what the f was I thinking? or why the hell did I do that? I know in life you have to learn to live with regrets but what if some regrets are so big that you can't live with them. I know god has a plan for everyone but its like was it really god plan or am I the one to blame. I think back to those good old Staples commercials with the easy button, I could really use one right now. It's foolish to think about it but honestly sometime I wishlife had a restart button that way I can start fresh and just be a better person overall. Don't get me wrong I'm very thankful for everything that I have and Don't have as well(thats where the motivation comes in) But its funny to think how much better life could be If I was just able to start all over again, but then again who knows if I was able to start over my life could be 20x worse than it is now. oh well rant over anybody else feel the same?

Song of the day:
The Dream - Rocking that Thing