Monday, May 25, 2009

NYC Nightlife

Me: What's good boy?
Henz: Aint shit! You coming to the party tonight?
Me: Yeah, I'm in there
Henz: 8-)
Me: Who going?
Henz: Me, Webb, Skate, Reem, Junez
Me: Say No more, going to suit up now

Now that might be a weird conversation to most but
that's how me and my friend talk before we get ready to hit a party or event. However every time there comes that moment of realization that I don't really want to go. Your sitting there saying why wouldn't you want to go. Well 1) monkey doesn't like when I party 2) Most parties are the same, Same music, Same crowd, Same people, Same vibe 3) I usually go home with an empty wallet and a stain on my polo or kicks smudged :-/
I like partying with my friends because when all of us are together
theres nothing like it. Liquor flowing, all of us dancing, blackberries out "Networking" and everybody just escaping the BS of the day to day grind for a few hours. However NYC parties make you not want to go to them.

In case you haven't noticed NYC is the Fashion Mecca of the world, so that means every NYC resident is a CERTIFIED fashion guru or so it seems. At parties you usually Find two groups of People The "Overly trying to Hard" or "The Right Now Crowd". Lets classify, Overly trying to hard are the people who rock a "mink", "$1000 hat", "$10000shirt", "$30000 watch" and
prada sneakers, this person usually plays the wall all night looking extra cool not wanting to ruin there expensive garments and does not want to be bumped in an overly crowded environment :-/ "The right now" is a person Who have on every designer that is cool right now and wearing all of them at the same time, "Keri Hilson Hair cut", "Plaid Shirt", "Big Door Knocker earrings" "Star tattoos in place" "booty shorty like beyonce" "Heels" and "Louis vuitton Damier Hand bag" To fly to dance and way advanced to be spoken too :-/

Ballers are people who do it big in every spectrum of life big house, big car, big bank account however in NYC complete opposite. Section 8 apt, Hoopty and no bank account yet 2 bottles of rose moet and the latest designers, In every picture to show that he was able to afford a bottle that cost more than your paycheck knowing that he wont be able to eat or go out because he spent his whole check on a bottle :-/

as usual NYC is overpriced with anything I remember spending 40 to get in a club one time and didn't even get a complimentary drink, picture, coat check or anything. Not to mention if I drive I have to pay for parking, then my coat, then wait in line only to dish out 40 bucks then when I get in the party and want to enjoy myself I have to spend 10-20 dollars on a cup that is watered down and filled with a ton of ice and only a little liquor :-/

All in all NYC parties are OK, However DO NOT BELIEVE the hype. If you don't believe me check You know dead
azz wrong and you will see what I'm talking about.


Hi, You've reached 917 555 3210, leave a message.

"Turn my swag on" comes on and plays its and entirety

Hello? Whats Good? Nah? I'm just chilling.....

Since the emergence of cell phones the greatest thing has been the voicemail, the voicemail is great because if you miss a really important call you can check the message out and get a synopsis of whats going on. Also works vice verse if it's someone you really do not care to speak to you can send them your voicemail. However with any good thing in life someone can turn a excellent thing into a horrible invention.

My absolute voicemail pet peeve is when you someone calls you and you call them back but you don't know who it is so you reach the voicemail hoping to get a name, SSN, Birth sign anything and the person just states their number like seriously why would you say you've reached the #, DUH I know I reached the # I called it. How hard is it to say Hi you reached Jessie @ 917 555 3210 and I'm unable to take your call leave a message?

In 2000 when i first got a cell phone it was cool to have a whole Jayz or Jarule song playing because you wanted your friends to hear how cool you are or at least thought you were. But in 2009 NO GROWN MAN/WOMAN should have Swag surfing or Turn my swag on playing for 3-4 Min's and still not identifying who you are. However nothing is worse than....

You have to be extremely bored or Extremely corny to think that pretending to be trick someone in believing that you really answered the phone is cool. I often wonder what goes on in the mind of people, I called my boy the other day to ask him where something was located because I realized I was talking to a scripted voicemail boy o boy did I feel like an asshole. Just like with the Passenger etiquette post there should also be Voicemail etiquette.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Birthday Sex.

The #1 song in the country or so it seems because you hear it everywhere is Birthday sex. I like other Americans love sex, I occasionally have it with my girlfriend and enjoy it. Last year on my bday(9-29) Monkey and I had Birthday sex, she went out her way to wear some sexy 2 piece something from fredricks of hollywood, the moet and hpnotic helped increase the sexual tension that night which made the sex EXCELLENTE, Now in years past I've had birthday sex and it was no different from any other sex. Now my question is what makes birthday sex any different from regular sex, is it because its your birthday you should get special treatment and make the sex better or that your other sexual encounters. It's sad to know that as a Man if you have to wait for great sex until your birthday would hurt a lot. I think all sex should be birthday sex-esque. What your take on this tho?

FTR Make up sex is actually the best, I sometime pick fights just for that!

Thursday, May 7, 2009


As a kid growing up in the 90's tattoos were a thing for rockers and rebellious outlaws, Today tatts have becoming the new piercings. I remember getting my first piercing back in 7th grade and feeling independent, then I saw Jayz with both his ear pierced so I "Secretly" got my other ear pierced. Looking back on that situation makes me laugh. Today I have 5 tattoos all of which I got under the age of 20, I am 22 now. I Got my first tattoo at 18 like everyone else, then followed up a few months later and so on. Now today I see people getting tattoo's like clothes. No thought process just "oh this might look cute" then waa-laa marked for life with Rey rey, Stars, butterflies, eyes or some other random bullshit. For the life of me I can't fathom the thoughts running through a person head when they get their hands tattooed, neck or FACE. The first impression is always the best but if I see a dude with a hand tattoo and his neck tatted, I'm thinking thug because 1) what kind of "important" job/career could you have with $$ tattooed on your hand 2)Your money must not stretch far if you need $$ tatted on you. Just like any other art form something can be dated very fast, 9 years there were very few tattoo parlors around now they are everywhere its almost like stop in for a morning coffee head next door to get some fresh ink.

Older people i.e grandparents, parents have never been to fond of tattoos or understand the purpose however body art is good when in moderation. Some tattoos aren't meant to be, if you have your name tattooed on your arm in script get that removed, if you have cherries or a strawberry on your waistline get that removed, MOST of ALL if you know anyone with several ex's names on their body tell them to kill themselves. As pop cultures continues it takeover of the world don't expect the tattoo phase to go anywhere. Remember tatt's are a great way to express yourself, just MAKE sure they have a meaning and purpose and something that wont look foolish when your 70(diva on your left breast?)

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Allow me to re-INTRODUCE myself....

Hello all. May marks the 6 month Anniversary of "How he stay so fre$H in a world so sour?", I must say I'm impressed with the reception I've been given by my followers, People who comment on all my blogs with both positive and negative feedback. I know my blog isn't as cool as others with the latest Fashion updates, celebrity gossip, new music, but I chose to keep it this way because it's different which I'm all about. I've watched my followers grow from 3 to 117. That makes me very proud that this many people haven taking interest in my words and would take the time to follow my work. I jacked this idea from a sight called You Know you dead azz wrong, where the author creates a post in which she introduces herself and ask the commenter s to do the same which gives a sense of who is who. So let me be the first

Jordan aka J.O - 22/NYC(queens)- Blog Myspace Facebook:Jordan Holmes Twitter

YGP: Part IV