Monday, December 29, 2008

Waste of a blog....

Seinfield did it, Martin did it, and Now I will do it. Waste an entirely good episode on bloppers, well not an episode but a blog. Like all good things this year must come to an end, So I leave you with two video blogs I messed up on Just so I could say I posted one last time before the new years. With that said I wish Everyone a great new year, Drink a lot, Party even harder and start the year off with a fresh new slate. Much prosperity wished to everyone who supports myself and the blog Much love.

Friday, December 26, 2008

The Year 200Great

Hey everyone, I know it's been a while since I blogged, I apologize but here I am with a blog worth wait. After 2006 I felt there couldn't have been a worse year boy was I wrong 2007 was terrible. It seemed as if everything that could go wrong did, My homie died, Sold My car, Put school on hold etc etc. So I went into 2008 with a nonchalant attitude like it has to get better and it certainly did. I think the ambitious side of everyone came out this year, It seemed like as if everyone I knew was about chasing what they wanted and not waiting for it too fall into their lap. This year I was able to develop new relationships and friendship with people I never thought I would be closer to. I became closer with family, went through life experiences I needed to go through to make me a better a man, also developed a new hobby I personally hated in my school years, writing. Of course we the saw the rise of one Obama and the fall of others Bush, witnessed the worst economic conditions in quite some time and was possibly put through the most annoying phase(Auto-tune) of black music since the "shiny suits", through all of that this was one of the better years of my life. 2009 is looking like an even better one thanks to the New edition on the WAY..... Of course any good blogs needs to pics to accommodate.

So Early 2008 I decided to start off with a beard similar to Lebron

That quickly phased out when I then wanted to see how far I could go....

In between all the facial hair I was able to meet my favorite rapper....

Only to continue with more facial hair.....

Only to revert back to something shorter in the summer......

Spent a lot of time with that white cup this summer lol

my circle grew tighter....

Partied a lil more

a few hangovers....

Partied a lil more.....

Turned 22 Celebrated very well....

Slowed down to put things back together......

Got my mac book and thats when Life changed lol....

Built a stronger bond with this man.....

Only to party a lil more and have a tad bit more fun.....

Met the person behind who inspired the beard lol and Partied more.....

Watched my boy start off on the good foot with fatherhood

And last but not least made it right with my Baby mother to be......

All in all a great year....Can't wait to see what 2009 has in store for me

Sunday, December 21, 2008

2nd Childhood.(Video Blog)

"All his peoples moved on in life, hes on the corners at night/With young dudes its them he wanna be like/Its sad but its fun to him right? he never grew up/31 and cant give his youth, hes in his second childhood" - Nasir Jones

Would you read?

"Listen if they wrote a book on your life you think anybody will read it?" - A.Z.

I was 14 when I first heard that quote, I couldn't fully understand how relevant this would be in my life right now. I first interpreted A.Z. as just using his Witt to make a statement, but the more I thought about it your life has to be very entertaining for a person to sit through a large collections of thoughts and ideas.I know if a large number of people wrote a book, it would likely go unread. I'm not saying that I'm the world's most important person nor am I saying my life is that dull I just feel like I also think about people I encounter everyday, majority of the people have very dull energy and such non charismatic features about them. Television has become a staple in today's society because everyone wants to see, Visualizing and Imagination are pretty much a thing of the past. This media age has turned us into very nosy people, wanting to track and follow a persons every move and what better way than to do with a television. Think to yourself what if a book about you could captivate the same reaction out of a person the watch they watch television. Honestly since I thought about that the quote the other day, I been trying to live my life as if someone would write a book about me someday. Meaning capitalizing on important moments, doing exciting things and not falling victim to a regular dull routine. Hopefully someday I will be able to tell whether or not people would read my book. Now my question to you is would someone read yours?

Thursday, December 18, 2008

The Break up...

Him : I hate you I can't stand you
Her : F you too I wish I never met you
Him : Whatever I don't need you anyway I'm out
Her : Go ahead and leave then you wasn't shit anyway
Him : * Open doors, Slam doors and Leaves*

Now that was a fictional break up, some break ups are worse and often SOMETIMES very mutual and peaceful. People usually break up for many reasons Infidelity, Monetary,Long Distance, grew apart or just wanting to test the waters. However when you break up with someone there's always a possibility of you and that person reuniting somewhere down the line. Now my question is when you break up with someone do you remain friends? If so how do you remain friends with someone who you were once in love with(if ever?)Do you Share new sexual encounters? Secrets? Hang out? Speak every day? Once a week? Monthly? Yearly? How does this work? I've technically only had one real girlfriend in my life, Yes I had the whole she's my girl in high School, Junior High thing but I'm talking a real definitive girl friend. During one of our many break ups, the only thing that changed was the daily communication and the title. We still did couple things, movies,dinner, sex etc etc. However I realized if I was going to shake this girl, I needed to completely leave her alone, because if we were still going to do those things we need not be broken up.

"To get over the old girl you have to find a new one" - Joe Buddens
Hmmm...Makes sense, but most people don't allow themselves the chance to get over the past, because they try to keep their past relevant without working on the future. Which is very unfair to your new mate because she will never get the full attention they deserve because your still allowing your past to roam freely in the present.

"Hard For me not see you with new man all hugged up, kisses on your neck and hands held firmly" - anonymous
Now I've never been the jealous ex type, however some are. Honestly how can you get mad at your EX for being with someone new, are they not you EX? I mean you have to live with the fact at some point they are going to move forward and move on. That's why it always kills me when I hear people hate on their ex's new mate. If you were doing your job and taking care of home that significant other would not be your ex.

I don't know where this blog came from it just popped in my head and figured I would Speak about it to see others thoughts on the whole ordeal of breaking up....

Wednesday, December 17, 2008


During one of our many nightly random aim conversations "Sharita" decides to pick my brain on the subject of commitment. The topic is so broad, yet very narrow when it comes to sides forming an opinion. Here is a conversation between "Sharita" and myself where we discuss the point of an commitment and the opinions each of us share.

Sharita:You know what I was thinking tho
Me: what?
Sharita:You should make a blog about commitment
Me:why should I make a blog about commitment?
Sharita: Lol
Sharita: Because everybody has diff views and problems with it today
Sharita: Excuse me if it may seem I'm implying anything but I'm not; you just seem to touch topics very well
Me: lol
Sharita: passing ideas
Sharita: just an idea is all
Me: cool
Sharita: thanks
Sharita: What do you think about it anyway if I can inquire
Me: *See's Bait*
Me: *Walks around it*
Sharita: OK forget it
Sharita: I don't even know why I asked
Me: but u did
Me: commitment is a positive and negative
Me: positive because it shows a person
Me: you are committed to what is trying to be accomplished in the relationship
and that you are putting your all into it.Negative because things can digress because too much focus is being placed on the relationship
Sharita: OK
Sharita: Females are culprits of doing both ... the negative mostly of course
Me: Commitments should never be done at a young age.P eople are still growing
and developing into their own person
Sharita: def
Me:but, what do I know?
Sharita: But it happens
Sharita: However there is a possibility a couple can grow together And with each other?
Me: that's true
Me: but in that same instance the mind is constantly growing and changing
Sharita: Yes
Me: which can lead people to grow apart
Sharita: I was about to say
Sharita: However nowadays I think, mainly females, commit more to the idea of what it could be or what they want it to be down the line
Sharita: Instead of the person they're with and the values of the relationship
see that's the problem
Me: why worry about what it could be?
Sharita: Exactly
Me: before it actually is, what's wrong with letting things flow?
Sharita: You're right
Sharita: But, Guys always commit to or can I say get comfortable with the idea of know that since their girl is "committed" to them they're always gonna be there,Or they feel they will And then run a muck
Me: most guys don't want to commit, because the majority still want whats out there. cake and eat it to situation or simply the female
Sharita: Oh yes
Me: isn't satisfying them or is satisfying them.yet they still feel there is better out there.
Sharita: Which leads to the infamous topic of cheating
Me: cheating is never going to cease!
Sharita: Which I don't think can ever be understood justified etc
Me: Cheating is all mental, a guy can stop cheating, it all comes down does he want to stop. A man is knows right from wrong, its more of a thrill like will I get caught
or if caught what will the consequences be....

Now I will stop the convo there because its slides of commitment and heads to a whole avenue, I'm not ready to ride down on this blog. Commitment is the biggest step in a relationship. Committing has always been a fear of many people, it brings me back to a blog that "JOY" wrote about the purpose of titles and such. Some like to be committed and some don't. I don't mind a commitment because it gives you almost a sense of security or shall I say safety blanket. My biggest fear of being committed was the fear of the person trying to put restraints on me or "Changing Me", When I say change trying to get me out of my bad habits or hanging with my boys. Now my question to you all is a commitment really necessary? or is it that something that society(Media Mostly) Pushes on us as an essential we need.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008


Spring is usually the time when most guys dead their wifeys, Summer is usually when all the monkey's come out, fall is when you do just that fall back and winter is when you cuff. Hm mm How can one define cuffin', basically when you give up the game and fall back with that special person for a season only to dead them at the beginning of the spring. Now if your a female reading this and you see your mate or his friends say that he's cuffing you be alarmed, actually be very ALARMED. I'm a vivid away message reader when I'm on jive talk, simply because I'm black, which means I'm extremely NOSY. So it's always comedy when I see people like oh cuddled up with hubby or spending QT with hubby blah blah, all the while thinking to me wasn't YOU the same person with an away MSG similar to this "Love stinks, I give up on all males tired of trying" From the month of March through October. Now lets take a look at the different variations of cuffin', Cuddling, Quality Time and the L- Word.

This right here should be the first red flag, if all of sudden dude wants to hold you close and watch Sex in the city re runs and nibble on your ear, you should be a little concerned. You should definitely ask yourself why wasnt this negro holding me like that in the summer and if he responds its too hot, isn't that what Air conditioners are for. But the ultimate sign is after that climax is if you get pulled close then you should say I'm definitely getting cuffed.

Quality Time
Him : Whats up what you doing
Her : Nothing watching Bad girls club
Him: You wanna' come chill, go do something?

*Alert, Alert, Alert, Alert, Alert, Alert, Alert*
Honestly like c'mon if you've dude have never done anything more than sit on his bed and watch old martin season dvd's then get it on that should raise a flag


Love isn't a word that shouldn't be spread around like some germs, but it definitely is. How can a dude love you after 3 weeks and then suddenly dump you as soon as the weather changes.

I made this blog because I hate to see people be so naive in thinking that a relationship can change over the course of a 2 week span, How can you be so deeply hurt by a person then be madly in love, if you know anyone that YOU may think is a victim of cuffin point them in the direction of this blog.

Monday, December 15, 2008


From an early age or until you breathe your last breath you dream. We dream of many things,mostly material possession, some dream for things that may better the world,however what if you can't dream? How can a person feeling dead an out of luck hope an dream. Many dreams are not easily obtainable, which is why most of the time it remains a dream and never a reality. In my life I've dreamt a lot, many of my dreams havent come true, partly due to my laziness or sense of urgency in pursuing that dream and some dreams faded into obscurity because of the urge to pursue another dream.

The great thing about dreaming is that no one can tell you how to dream, yes others may try to live their dreams through you or try to criticize the dream you have, but in the end the dream will ultimately always be your dream. At this point in my life all of the dreams I've had have either slipped away or not been pursued, I wanted to be a N.B.A player like most inner city kids, hell at one point I wanted to be Eva Pigford's love slave. Now I dream of obtaining the American Dream, Big house, cars, 2.5 kids, wife and dog etc etc But I feels like I have dreamer's block almost as if I don't have the same drive to dream as strongly as I did as a kid, Don't get me wrong I dream of certain things I would like to do or try to obtain but at this juncture of life can I afford to risk my dream from potentially getting me where I need to be at this point? I know the old saying is always follow your dreams but what if there's too much on your plate and you can't afford to take that chance on a dream? Nothing should hinder you from dreaming, however life is serious and you don't have many chances to make things happen but is it worth risking it all to follow a dream that may not pan out?

Sunday, December 14, 2008

The Hangover :-(

As you approach that bulletproof glass and hand over the clerk your $20 you know that the night is going to be very good but you don't even stop to think about the effects for the next morning. So you begin drinking, having a jolly ole time, drink more, socialize more, drink, dance, drinking, Nicotine break, drink and then the bottles done. So now your "Wavy" and this is a great state, feeling good everything flowing nicely and you enjoy this feeling until its fades out or you fade out.

Next Morning

You wake up feeling the sucker you are for doing your best T.I and Ron Browz renditions, you swear up and down that you will never drink anything ever again and you are a changed man. Only to realize that you were invited to a party next Friday, realizing that this cycle will repeat itself all over again :-(

Saturday, December 13, 2008

It's ALMOST that time of year, AGAIN!

As you drink that last bottle of sdevka, take that last drag of nicotine, have sex with that last male/female or cut off that person in you life you can stand anymore, yup it's New Years Resolution time. Ever wonder why every January 1 you see an abundance of Jenny Craig, weight watchers or NYC Smoking hot line commercials? I'll tell you why its because a bunch of JOKERS(myself included) Every year on that day compile a list of things that they are "Going" to do to make themselves better or the year better than the last. Honestly a resolution is a CROCK of BULLSHIT by the third week of the new year you've already abandoned that new gym membership or gone to see "Ak" at the corner store for that fresh pack of stogies. This year I'm not going to wait until until the 1st of the year to compile a list of fallacies i won't even think about by Jan 10th. I decided to be honest with myself this year a compile of list of things I need to get done this year to make myself better and enjoy 2009 more than I did 2008(I loved this year A LOT.)

Everyone considers themselves responsible, even I do, yet at time I'm a slacker and a huge procrastinator. I would like to be more organized in all facets of my life, Socially ,Financially, Time management, Love wise, Spiritually and Fashion. For the last few years I been placing the blame on a lot of my problems on others, when realistically the majority of MY problems have come from my poor decision making,so I definitely need to take more accountability for my actions. All of these things are easily obtainable, I need to cut out the negatives within each thing I listed and tackle each one head on and that would put me on the good foot.


I found out who my true friends were this year and I realized that these are the people with whom I've chosen to form my circle with. I'm a very friendly person and naturally a people person, whoever I seem to attract a lot of good people who do negative things or seem to have negative agendas, I'm not a little boy anymore and I can't get involved with poor decision that can harm myself or family, mostly me though.

Now I must've been under a cave because I just found out Wednesday Heath Ledger was dead while watching The Dark Knight, this can be attributed to my "hectic" schedule or me just not being in the know. I realized I spend a lot of time doing BS and not keeping up with the current events around me which is very sad, I have all these global devices yet I'm not using them to their capabilities.

In conclusion tomorrow is the day where I will begin all of the things listed, Wish me luck !

Nothing to do with the blog just hype that I met freeway:

Thursday, December 11, 2008

The ghetto life

Ghetto this, Ghetto that! honestly what's so good about the motherfucking hood? I'm a product of this rotten place, that many people consider heaven, honestly I would trade a lot to be a surbuban kid living in a nice town house or a gated community. Everyday I walk out my crib and wonder why do people admire this place so much. It's nothing like how the music videos or rap songs potray it to be, no glamorous woman walking around with stilletos heels, or mabachs parked on every block or thousands of dollars falling from the sky. The "hood" is like hell, mostly miniorites all struggling try to make the best of life with what little we are given. The reason I made this blog is because it's cool to appreciate where u come from, I just cant understand why some people (mostly the younger genration of black people) are happy with mediocrity, it's like get a pair of $300 sneakers, expensive designer jeans and cool chain and whip and park it in front a tenement is success(WTF).I understand that growing up in the "hood" we are deprived a lot, but AINT SHIT cool about being hood rich, because Hood Rich is basically broke, a ton of material possessions with shit to show for it, I mean think about how many fads have passed over the years or how many "hot" cars have been out.

It's like a bunch of crabs in a bucket here, as you try to rise to the top theirs nothing but negative people trying to throw you down forget about pulling. Not to mention theres nothing to do here but get in trouble, theres no malls, movie theaters,dave n busters, JACK SHIT to do but get drunk or high. As I cruise through my hood I see nothing but corner stores, chinese food spots and liquor stores now tell me how a young kid growing up can survive in an environment like that.

Let's not even mention the school system, it's not that parents don't care about their kid in school, its that our own damn Government could care less about little Terrel or shanique in the inner city when Johnny or Sarah in that nice middle class family needs that funding more for their schooling correct? In school it was so bad that we didn't even have enough text books to accommodate all the kids , so teachers came up with "group work" if your not familiar with "group work" it's basically where 5 or 6 kids get in a group to share ONE text book to do class assignments, now tell me how can a slower kid learn in that environment if he's paired with a smarter child who picks up on things faster than the slower kid and the slower kid is lost, however that slow kid is still "good" because they have a no child left behind policy, mean that no matter how bad you are in class and do on your statewide exams you will still be promoted to your next grade.

It only gets worse from there I wont touch on the Problems with pregnancy or the amount of weaponry that's flooded the community, or the amount of drugs moving through the slums daily. Everyplace has their problems its just seems like this place is overly glorified when honestly theres not too much if any to glorify here.thoughts?

Tuesday, December 9, 2008


Uncles are very important to young males, not for the often random drunkeness spoken to you about females in their hay day, not for the cheaper to keeper statements about dealing with your ol' lady , not even for the $20 everytime his "boat came in" when he hit the pick 4 for a couple of dollar's, but for the role model provided in your life at a time when you need a male figure to talk to. My grandmother had 5 kids two girls and three boys, now if your smart that means I have three uncles, two of which I'm not too particually fond of however I still love them because they have always been there for me. However my uncle black( real named Devon, nick named black boy because he was a darkskin dude like myself) is the man. I say this because although a southern boy , born in Alabama but raised in the city in the latter part of his life, you would never never tell he was a country bumpkin, he walks with such a swagger and is as smooth as a baby bottom. My uncle has always been one to keep the family rolling with his crazy antics at family gathering and has the liquor tolerance of a elephant the man can drink a good 8 budweisers and still not be in regular state. I honestly don't know why I made this blog other than to say uncles don't get the appreciation they should. Mothers and fathers have a national day, its time we give the uncles of the world a little appreciation. A lot of times its your uncle who you speak to about the things you can't speak to parents about and 99% of the time they are cooler than your aunts, not to say my aunts are corny, because they aren't, but my uncle is that dude. So with this blog I dedicate it to my uncle and the other uncles around the world 8-)

Friday, December 5, 2008

Social Networking?

Friend from 1998: Hey how's it going?
Me : It's going well how you been?
Friend from 1998: Well I just had 8 kids, traveled to east India for a bowl of rice and cured third world STD
Me: Well I just been working and going to school :-/
Friend from 1998: oh OK

*Conversation deceases only to resume the same exact conversation in 5 months*

I'm pretty sure most of you with a Face book or my space account has been a on the receiving end of the sample conversation I just posted or potentially you could be the one posting that. However honestly what is the point of a My space or Face book? Yeah it's cool to see people you haven't seen since elementary recess days or people since 4th period lunch in High school, but honestly there's a reason you haven't spoken to Chris or Letisha, it's because you weren't that cool to begin with because all the friends that you have not via Social networks are still in your life for a reason. Face book is basically a site used for ex's and foes to spy on your life and see how well your doing in life, face book should be called spy book. Don't get me wrong Spy book is cool for certain aspects such as the Photo album aspects that way you can share pics from your walk to the store or the weekly party you attended just to take pics to put on Spy book. Now when I log on to my mac my daily site rotation is Nike talk(Music Forum, general then kicks), then I head over to my daily "Music supply" sites, check my blog and then Face book and my space. Now I question myself each time I sign on to each of these sites 1. Because an update necessary for everything little thing you do "walking to the bathroom, opening zipper, now peeing" like c'mon is that serious? 2. All these damn applications. find your baby mother brothers sister friend, Word? Let's not even talk about my space.... My space might be home of ignorant losers, I know you shouldn't say that, but when I see people with pics of a stack of 100's and mad prada boxes while confined in a small project bedroom I have to question the integrity of some people. Also whats the big deal with people going so hard for picture comments."comment mii pixxsss an I got chu bacxxxx" :-/ Since when did it become cool to type like that? It's seems like myspace is unofficial "Unsigned Hype" Section of the source as well, it is me or is every person with access to instrumental and a k-mart 9.99 microphone a rapper now? However I knew my space was in the shitter when my 9 yr old cousin whom I love to death sent me a friend request like WTF it's even worst that I can't delete TOM as my friend on my space(what part of the game is that) however what takes the cake is the fact that my space is Face book 2.0 SMH Most of the time i only log onto to these sites to make me feel better and read comments which are basically from the same people who contact me on face book. However no matter how hard I try to delete both of these sites I don't but I have a feel come new year I will succesfully be able to hit that delete button....

Thursday, December 4, 2008

December 4th <<>>

Brooklyn, NY is often the setting for a lot of crimes and immense poverty, However the same place that claims many lives some innocent and some well not so innocent is the birthplace of many modern day "Heroes", Michael Jordan, Carmelo Anthony, Christopher Wallace, Stephanie Mills, Marie Tyler Moore, Eddie Murphy, Kimel Watts and Shawn Corey Carter. If you've never been to Brooklyn the setting is somewhat surreal, from the newly found construction, to the Newport/car smoke that fills the already crowded streets to the Spanish bodega that sits amongst many corners while heavily stacked tenements(Called "Projects") lurk in the background, This could be the scene of any inner city in America, it's not it's Brooklyn which is a city inside itself. In the midst of all this animation I just described a young man was born in one of those tenements in one of the rougher parts of the Brooklyn community, Bed ford Stuyvesant area. The young man grew up in a single parent household, after his farther left him, which is the case for so many young man today. The young boy enjoyed school, however as you grow older in adolescent years your peers force the unnecessary materialism on you, so that young man who liked school dropped out of the traditional schooling system to pursue a degree in the school of hard knocks. The streets are funny sometime while pursuing that street knowledge many don't follow the rules and get sent to detention(Jail or Hospital) while some get expelled (Death). That young man saw either and was one of the more successful students, he was able to overcome the obstacles placed in front of him and able to switch careers which many don't see in the streets. The young man made the transition from the streets to Entertainment business. I say business because the young man had hopes of someday becoming a billionaire, Now the young man I speak of hasn't become a billionaire yet but we have watched the success and shall continue too.

Happy Birthday Shawn Carter, Jay-z AKA Young HOV <<>>

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Generation Y Daddy

Generation Y, sometimes referred to as "Millennials" or "Net Generation", whose birth years range anywhere from the second half of the 1970's to around the year 2000, depending on the source, grew up in the 1990s and 2000s

As I read this invitation from one of my good friends baby showers it dawned on me that Damn we're getting really old. It feels like just last summer we were all on "the Block" up to no good, actually it was last summer. It lead me to think that three of my main dudes are now fathers now, which is truly a blessing. It also brought me to this point will the generation Y daddy be better then the our father and our fathers father. While all indications are leading me to yes, I'm still unsure about our generation young males. The majority of them are scared to dream and the ones who dream are scared to chase those dreams, so if your scared to do that how can you be a parental figure to a infant and better yet be a role model. I pray that this Generation's "daddies" are better because honestly a lot of our fathers weren't around if around didnt take the time to understand us and raise us the way we should have been raised. Myself I was raised by strong African-American WOMAN My mother Cindy, Grandmother Lucy, Ma Ella and my aunt carol. My father was M.I.A in this whole process and I think I turned out to be a DAMN GOOD LOOK, Honestly I can't sit here and say that it doesn't pain me each and everyday that my father wasn't around or I had no male figure to call when I wanted to have sex for the first time, or come to my AAU basket ball games but I guess everything happens in life for a reason. I think the mental damage from being raised in a single parent household can scare one for life,EASILY. Most of the kids I grew up around were basically in the same situation as I, however the few that were lucky enough to get their huxtable on, I was extremely jealous of, for the simple fact I WANTED that. However as I blossom from young adult hood to a man I realize that when presented with the blessing of having a child(god willing) I wouldn't want to miss a single moment of that child's life. I look at my friends who are fathers and see that although the majority of them are not where they would like to be in their life, they still do what they HAVE to for their children, that's the way it should be. Although this generation we were presented with a lot at an early age, growing up with many advantages our fathers didn't have, technology, money etc etc it make it easier for us to realize what should and has to be done to raise the future leaders of this country. Now in no way shape or form am I ready to be daddy J.O yet I know I would definitely be the man that my child needed to raise him/her up to be the best they can be. Thoughts?

Tuesday, December 2, 2008


Me : Can male and female be close platonic friends?
Madame B: If your not physically attracted to them, in anyway
Me : So what your saying is no
Madame B: Lol yup, or if you knew them since they were really young
Madame B : So there like brother/sister
Me : So it's impossible
Madame B : Yup

Now most of you have a core crew of friends, myself as a male I have a lump sum of female friends, some I have known since my karl Kani, Tommy Hilfigers, Grant Hill days to present. Some I would never ever think of crossing the invisible line with for ample reasons ( No attraction, Weirdness or potentially ruining a good friendship). However when I first met my girlfriend she had a large number of male friends, honestly(all insecurities aside) it made me quite uneasy because there is not much to talk about with a adolescent male, because aside from the newest Jordan's, cars, fancy jeans or sex what really is on their mind? As hypocritical as this may sound, girls are way different, they can offer relationship advice amongst other things, not saying guys can't do the same but the majority of the time guys friends just want to pipe, and majority of them would bite if given the chance, whereas girls can offer a little more self restraint because they get offered PENIS a good 10-20 times daily. The offers might not be outright "so, so I want to have sex with you", it can be along the lines of " Damn your breast grew so big they look nice". With my female friends I try to keep the conversations as civil as possible i.e talking about current events, offering male perspectives on why their boo does what he does or basically just a ear to listen to and share thoughts with. I can honestly admit that some of my female friends are highly attractive and honestly I would bite if given the chance but then I think about the outcome of that situation, it would lead to uncanny awkwardness and not being able to see that person in the same light. In 11th grade, I dated my childhood female friend and it was very weird too look at her in the light of an intimate partner because this is the same girl I watched cry when I hit her too hard in hide and go seek and the same girl who watched me bust my lip at a 10 yr old Ice skating birthday party. But in all honesty I try to keep my distance in how close I let a female friend get because if too much time is spent together and emotions shared naturally an attraction can be developed and you might cross that invisible line. It's the reason you are close to your same sex friends the way you are because no sexual attraction can be developed because you are the same sex. But I would like to see what you guys/gals think about this subject.

Monday, December 1, 2008

The Side Piece

Me: How's thing with you and wifey?
Friend : She good, But I'm with my side shorty right now.
Me: I thought you was getting out the game?
Friend: I was, but my side shorty make me appreciate wifey more

After reading those lines I know my female readers are in rage right now, while the guy readers are probably saying "Word, True, True". I believe at one point man or woman we've all had that side piece in our life whether it were for financial gain, emotional support or strictly for physical pleasure, However the side piece while fulfilling for the time being never results in the outcome you were looking for. NOBODY in life is comfortable with being 2nd or background to another person, although there are a select few who are cool with that, Not sure I understand the logic in that but to each it's own. Fabolous rapped about it, Bill Clinton brought it to the white house even arguably the greatest civil rights leader of our time Dr. Martin Luther king was guilty of it. Myself as most young men am guilty of keeping the side piece around for odd number of reasons mostly for selfish reasons. Don't get me wrong woman are just as guilty of this. With the blog I want to cover three basis, What a side piece is?, how to determine if you're a side piece and how to get rid of an side piece.

What is a Side Piece?
A side piece can defined in many ways, a man/or woman who isn't your boyfriend or girlfriend but are around for the aforementioned reasons(Financial,Emotional support or Sex). A side piece is can be relationship material but you know you never want to be in a relationship with that person, majority of the time a side piece doesn't realize that they are a side piece until they are either told or the picture begins to get clear. Telling a person that your involved is usually the safest and easiest way to have a side piece, that way they know there boundaries and each party can basically get what they want out of the situation, 99.9% of the time this transition doesn't go this smooth for two reasons A) Said side piece begins to catch feelings and want to step out of their role as side piece and be your mate B) You realize why this person is your side piece and why the relationship never progressed into anything more. Reason A can be a very dangerous situation (See: "Fatal Attraction"). In 2004 I met my girl friend at the time and was heavily involved with her but yet I couldn't shake my S.P.(Let's call her "Loca") So I kept "Loca" around for monetary reasons and for physical pleasure after a while I realized that this "Fling" was growing tiring and I couldnt hurt the woman I loved anymore, I broke the news to "Loca", she said "I'm cool with that decision and I wish you two the best", I thought that would be the last time I spoke with "Loca", only to realize "Loca" was about to involve herself in my life more than I could imagine. "Loca" began to create multiple AIM handles, Phone #'s and Create several myspace pages to stalk myself and others in my life. "Loca" told me in a phone conversation "If I cant have you no one else will". It's been three years since I told "Loca" I wanted no parts of her and she still has found a way to contact me although not as frequent she still does, so in the end a deep Lesson was learned here, If you ready for the excitement of a S.P also be ready for the disturbing side of a S.P

How to determine if your a side Piece?

I saw an away msg today that cracked me the hell up. "Should I continue to talk to someone who wants to be single?" I wanted to write something to that person like damn maam you've been Side Pieced but I left it alone. Chances are if you've been talking to a someone for more than three months and the only places you've been are to the motel, a friends bedroom or the backseat of a hooptie you are a sidepiece, not saying those are the only signs of being a sidepiece but those might be the main signs. Other key things to look for when determining if your a side piece or not are A)Communication B)Locations and C)Visibility.
Webster defines communication as the successful conveying or sharing of ideas. The main way to tell if your a side piece is if you and said person never speak or when conversation is engaged, it is short, or during awkward periods (i.e Early morning 11pm -4am,Drunken moments, or Immense sexual cravings). The key to any successful S.P is to never get to close with that person, which means never revealing personal thoughts, engaging in heart felt conversations, basically anything done with your ACTUAL relationship mate should never be done with a side piece.

Location is very important in dealing with a side piece you should never bring a side peice places you've taken your mate because in the end it can lead to trouble(Waiter Might identify you, or might bump into people you know). Most side pieces are happy just to be around because they are finally getting to see you whether you are chillin on your block drinking some wavy juice or at at applebees for a low budget dinner.


This might be the most important symbol regarding whether your are a sidepiece or not. If you've never met any of said person's friends or family or if said person always choose to go to remote locations or keep you indoors you might be a side piece. I mean in the rare occasion that said person does take you watch for certain mannerism such as distance or affectionate gestures if there is none than can mean you are a side piece.

How to get rid of Sidepiece?

The answer to this is to not to get involved with a side piece. The outcome will do nothing but create a headache that is not needed. If caught you risk losing the side piece and the person you are in the relationship with so in the end it is basically a lose-lose situation. Once the trust is lost with the person you care about in the relationship you will look at the side piece in disgust and regret all dealings with that person, so avoid the risk at all cost.

This blog was in no way to incriminate myself, "Share secrets", everything I stated was basically common knowledge I just wanted to make a blog most can relate too and see the feedback.....