Wednesday, December 17, 2008


During one of our many nightly random aim conversations "Sharita" decides to pick my brain on the subject of commitment. The topic is so broad, yet very narrow when it comes to sides forming an opinion. Here is a conversation between "Sharita" and myself where we discuss the point of an commitment and the opinions each of us share.

Sharita:You know what I was thinking tho
Me: what?
Sharita:You should make a blog about commitment
Me:why should I make a blog about commitment?
Sharita: Lol
Sharita: Because everybody has diff views and problems with it today
Sharita: Excuse me if it may seem I'm implying anything but I'm not; you just seem to touch topics very well
Me: lol
Sharita: passing ideas
Sharita: just an idea is all
Me: cool
Sharita: thanks
Sharita: What do you think about it anyway if I can inquire
Me: *See's Bait*
Me: *Walks around it*
Sharita: OK forget it
Sharita: I don't even know why I asked
Me: but u did
Me: commitment is a positive and negative
Me: positive because it shows a person
Me: you are committed to what is trying to be accomplished in the relationship
and that you are putting your all into it.Negative because things can digress because too much focus is being placed on the relationship
Sharita: OK
Sharita: Females are culprits of doing both ... the negative mostly of course
Me: Commitments should never be done at a young age.P eople are still growing
and developing into their own person
Sharita: def
Me:but, what do I know?
Sharita: But it happens
Sharita: However there is a possibility a couple can grow together And with each other?
Me: that's true
Me: but in that same instance the mind is constantly growing and changing
Sharita: Yes
Me: which can lead people to grow apart
Sharita: I was about to say
Sharita: However nowadays I think, mainly females, commit more to the idea of what it could be or what they want it to be down the line
Sharita: Instead of the person they're with and the values of the relationship
see that's the problem
Me: why worry about what it could be?
Sharita: Exactly
Me: before it actually is, what's wrong with letting things flow?
Sharita: You're right
Sharita: But, Guys always commit to or can I say get comfortable with the idea of know that since their girl is "committed" to them they're always gonna be there,Or they feel they will And then run a muck
Me: most guys don't want to commit, because the majority still want whats out there. cake and eat it to situation or simply the female
Sharita: Oh yes
Me: isn't satisfying them or is satisfying them.yet they still feel there is better out there.
Sharita: Which leads to the infamous topic of cheating
Me: cheating is never going to cease!
Sharita: Which I don't think can ever be understood justified etc
Me: Cheating is all mental, a guy can stop cheating, it all comes down does he want to stop. A man is knows right from wrong, its more of a thrill like will I get caught
or if caught what will the consequences be....

Now I will stop the convo there because its slides of commitment and heads to a whole avenue, I'm not ready to ride down on this blog. Commitment is the biggest step in a relationship. Committing has always been a fear of many people, it brings me back to a blog that "JOY" wrote about the purpose of titles and such. Some like to be committed and some don't. I don't mind a commitment because it gives you almost a sense of security or shall I say safety blanket. My biggest fear of being committed was the fear of the person trying to put restraints on me or "Changing Me", When I say change trying to get me out of my bad habits or hanging with my boys. Now my question to you all is a commitment really necessary? or is it that something that society(Media Mostly) Pushes on us as an essential we need.


Mr. Jolla said...

I think commitment falls under the 'both' category. On one hand, it IS something that is pushed upon us by society...but then again, so is everything else we's what we call 'norms'. We don't (generally) know something is okay until the masses do it or it is publicly deemed acceptable.

On the other hand, it's something we need. Without commitment, there would be way more reckless ass behavior than what already takes place on a daily. People would be smutting with a new person every day...and whoever started these diseases would sit back and watch that shit infiltrate the entire world...SMH, even moreso than it already is.

allison veronica said...

As someone who is terrified of commitment and never wants to get married, I'm gonna say that it's necessary depending on the person.

You know when you want to be committed to someone because you don't want anyone else but them. It's weird like that.

And commitment makes things easier to define.

As for the media, I think they def push marriage and they need to chill with that. But commitment doesn't have to be forever. It's for now. In this moment, I want to be with you and only you.

100K said...

my worse fear is committing then getting cheated on or left hanging.

Its for this reason that i actively choose not to give 100% of myself to a female. shit will hit the fan when you least expect it and you'll be left wondering where YOU went wrong as opposed to the other person

maybe it's seeing how my moms acted when my Pops cheated on her that made me this way...but i cant actively give 100% of myself to a female. not yet anyway. I've been called emotionally cold...but it is what it is.

Anonymous said...

Commitment is a personal COMMITMENT. Is a necessity? No but when a girl feels like I'm doing everyhing your girl would be doing so why not, a guy will quickly counter respond with I'm getting it any way so why? Commitment does place a strong hold on what a person is "allowed" to do. Can you just be fuckin your friend forever? and saying he/she is just a friend and biting your tongue because you are "afraid" or you don't want your eyecandy to be compromised? Not committing may make a person feel like they're being used and with that being said I guess what was wanted should have been communicated from the beginning. I too am a female not really into marriage. I've never even seen myself with the father of my children possibly thanks to my mom and all the other strong single mothers. I guess ultimately commitment is important to someone who feels like being taken for granted is being called a friend when you treat the person like royalty. No one wants to change you, but the depth of the feelings and teh relationship will. Then you never give 100% ever after someone wont commit. AAAAAH its touchy!

Kofi Bofah said...

Was 'ol girl on AIM trying to box you in?

That is a no-no.

Women should know this.