The Pursuit of Happiness: Relationship edition

In the begining there was the female edition, followed closely by the male edition.

"Girl, well you know we've been dating for 8 years, you've been there through almost everything in my life and I want to make you my wife. Will you Marry me?"

Now I'm sure these are words every woman at some point in their life would love to hear, but how does one make it to marriage? Yes dating and sharing a boyfriend/girlfriend titles are good starts, but what initially makes a man want to throw away his little black book and come home to the same woman every night?

When two people decide to get into a relationship its because they have a great amount of feelings for each other and would like to pursue those feelings into something more prosperous. A long the way those feelings may prosper or decrease due to a number of factors. When you first meet someone you meet their Representative and not the true them. The representative shows up and lures the person in to the point where they are blinded by the true individual. But like anything in life the truth always comes to the light leaving the partner to decide if they want to stay or go. However what if before you got into a relationship you had a checklist to review sort of like going grocery shopping. YUP! thats right I will provide you with that list so when you go shopping your able to pick out the fresh from the ripe.

Intelligence - Now, I'm sure we're all vivid watchers of for the love of Ray J, Flava of love and every other crappy Vh1 reality tv show, hell we're all bloggers it somewhere in the guidelines to like each of those shows. Well if watching the show you go he/she cant be smarter than the grapes or banana shes eatting. We all want to appear to be somewhat smarter than we really are thats why we use bigger words than normal or watch the discovery channel to gain to that knowledge so we can talk about something other than New Yorks boob job or why flava wears that viking hat.

Finance - I'm sure the corner store hero's are an excellent choice for a late night snack or ray's pizza shack might have the best slices in the city but when courting a young lady is this really the place you want to take her to start off a relationship. Now I know the guys are think "J.O what if shes a gold digger?" chances ar if she's a G.D once u pull up to either spot she will spazz on you and bounce. I know most of us arent jayz or 50 status but atleast be better than ODB status.

L.O.C- Lines of Communication. The leading cause of Break ups is communication. Communicating is more than just speaking, the art of listening is almost lost in todays society. Today everybody wants to be heard and doenst want to listen. Many of divorces and child support cases could've just been avoided if the lines were open more and people took the time to understand where each other was coming from.

Apperance - We all have that bad hair day, Laundry day, or the the F it day, but if your having those kind of days more than 4 times a week chances are your spouse wont find you attractive and when be will in the words of TLC choosing to "Creep". No you dont have to be tyson beckford or beyonce everyday but try to realize when you went and got that fresh cut to impress shorty or when you paid selena at the domincan spot 60 cash for that wash & set you were making a statement that you cared about your appearance. Taking ME time will save any relationship.

Accountability- the biggest man or woman in life is the one that can admit to his or her mistakes. I hate to see people in life go around blaming peoples for their mistakes. If your 30 still living in your moms basement she isnt the blame you are. If you went to the club and have 3 patron shots and at the end of the night kissed 5 guys and had sex with your roomates man your the blame not your roomate man. If you can take responsiblity for your actions relationship will flow alot smoother.

Trust- Men Lie woman lie, but the first time you lie break up, its over, Seriously. Relationships in order to work need an enomorous amount of trust so once you break that rule and get away with the first lie your going to keep going and going and going until you get caught. The worst part about lying is keeping up with all the lies, thats why I try my hardest to always tell the truth. My brain has so much going on so keeping up with every lie would be damn near impossible.

This checklist is proven to work, I have applied it to my love life and so far we are doing great, apply these tips while I'm giving them out for free because soon I will be charging soon.

I'm getting Married...

Disclaimer : No, I'm not getting married.

"Picture us Married, You and Me, K-I-S-S-I-N-G" - Nasir Jones

So my daily mental ipod session occurred again this time the song was "Getting Married" by Nas. For some reason if I hear a song I go into a weird zone, where I start visualizing different scenarios and imagery of certain situations. I Imagined what my wedding would be like, like it would be some extravagant royal wedding(Ala Prince Akeem) or Something subtle and Secretive(see: Jay and B) But I quickly shook out of the thought because honestly the thought was quite scary.

In my earlier years during one of my late night Phone Conversations she asked me "Do I ever want to get married", I nearly hung up on her, the nerve and audacity of this girl to think that I would ever hang up my jersey and retire to the same female for the rest of my life. Looking back at that I smile and think that the inevitable is someday going to happen when I have to make "the final walk".

Ms Sampson was my English Lit teacher at school, and after I handed in a paper on an event that you're least looking forward to in the future, she asked me I would stay after class to speak with her, I instantly was like "Oh sh*t" what could I have done wrong, "Mr. Holmes, I love your assignment your imagery was very vivid and kept me on the edge of my seat the entire time, may god bless the woman who marries you(Loud Laugh)", I believed Ms. Sampson was making a pass at me, How could she not want me after reading my excellent piece of literature. The event I was least looking forward to was, well you know marriage.

The scene was immaculate at the Polo Mansion as Oha Sang "Queen to be",His vocals gracefully flowed through the speakers, pearly marble floors glistened as woman in star studded freak em' dresses and thin Stiletto heels graced the crowd, As each of my grooms men looked sharp as ever in coogi sweaters, Kangol Hats, Polo slacks and Clark's wallabies. The crowd was reminiscent of a Lakers game at the staples center in mid June, Star after Star even a Bulletproof Black Yukon was doubled parked in front which revealed None other than Mr. and Mrs Barack Obama, Diddy Winked at me and said " It's cheaper to keep her,Bad boy, Take that, Take that" which then began to give me moments of nervousness and have a flashback of my "Playing days", I flashed back to my first kiss or my boys and I at the Pizza shop spinning a pie to see who would land their dream girl one day, first case of blue balls and finally hitting the ball out the park. As My bride approached the alter and I pulled out the ring in which I found at the bottom of the titanic, my bride to be as beautiful as ever due to her Help from David Tutera and his "expertise", As she read her vows, Reverend Jesse Jackson asked me Do I do? Jordan do you take her?....... I then woke up and breathed a sigh of relief that this was all I dream, I then got scared that one day I won't be able to wake up and that this could be my fate....