Thursday, December 18, 2008

The Break up...

Him : I hate you I can't stand you
Her : F you too I wish I never met you
Him : Whatever I don't need you anyway I'm out
Her : Go ahead and leave then you wasn't shit anyway
Him : * Open doors, Slam doors and Leaves*


Now that was a fictional break up, some break ups are worse and often SOMETIMES very mutual and peaceful. People usually break up for many reasons Infidelity, Monetary,Long Distance, grew apart or just wanting to test the waters. However when you break up with someone there's always a possibility of you and that person reuniting somewhere down the line. Now my question is when you break up with someone do you remain friends? If so how do you remain friends with someone who you were once in love with(if ever?)Do you Share new sexual encounters? Secrets? Hang out? Speak every day? Once a week? Monthly? Yearly? How does this work? I've technically only had one real girlfriend in my life, Yes I had the whole she's my girl in high School, Junior High thing but I'm talking a real definitive girl friend. During one of our many break ups, the only thing that changed was the daily communication and the title. We still did couple things, movies,dinner, sex etc etc. However I realized if I was going to shake this girl, I needed to completely leave her alone, because if we were still going to do those things we need not be broken up.

"To get over the old girl you have to find a new one" - Joe Buddens
Hmmm...Makes sense, but most people don't allow themselves the chance to get over the past, because they try to keep their past relevant without working on the future. Which is very unfair to your new mate because she will never get the full attention they deserve because your still allowing your past to roam freely in the present.

"Hard For me not see you with new man all hugged up, kisses on your neck and hands held firmly" - anonymous
Now I've never been the jealous ex type, however some are. Honestly how can you get mad at your EX for being with someone new, are they not you EX? I mean you have to live with the fact at some point they are going to move forward and move on. That's why it always kills me when I hear people hate on their ex's new mate. If you were doing your job and taking care of home that significant other would not be your ex.

I don't know where this blog came from it just popped in my head and figured I would Speak about it to see others thoughts on the whole ordeal of breaking up....

14 comments:

Tuotierugif >^..^<© said...

I think when you break up its for a specific reason. I believe in staying on good terms because you may get back together and also you never want someone out in the world to hate you (lol) but the whole "friend" scenario is doubtable. I know if I had a bf it would hard enough with him having "close" female friends lol so if one of his "friends" was an Ex...I would'nt be too happy about it lol Also with friends you do certain things with them/tell them certain things I think it would be wierd to do that stuff with an ex?

beefpatty said...

This blog hits so many points in people lives. I choose to stay friends wit my ex's, because i feel if you were friends before the title bf and gf then u can be able to be friends after. Now I'm not saying to be hip to hip buddies but mutual friends wouldn't hurt. This may sound wrong but you also never know when u might need them(for support of any kind).

Mista Jaycee said...

No Ex ever and I mean ever planned on being an EX and that's why folks get mad when they see one of their Exes cause you've shared secrets, thoughts and life essence, you seen each other at each others most vunerable, nekked, so once you've those things you can't get them back and you never forget. Never!
Jaycee

Miss.Stefanie said...

I agree with Jay. People break up for various reasons, not just you weren't taking care of that person. My ex treated me so badly and I laugh at his new ex now, I feel sorry for the chick. She has to handle his shit now, but doesn't mean that when I saw him I was hurt.Its not that I wasn't taking care of of him, I catered to the man...cooked,cleaned, rubbed his back an feet after work. Gave it to him whenever he wanted...etc,etc,etc...I know I took care of him. However, he didn't know how to love back. He was the jerk weed Some people are just jerk wads. Plain and simple. Some people don't know how to love. Some people don't know how to care. Sometimes you put two completely different people together and yeah, there is lust...but they are all wrong for each other. Its not their fault. It just stings a little because "what if's" come to mind. What if we were suppose to be together? Pretty much like the babyface song, "What if". Each breakup is different.

Kelis. said...

There is so much i could say about this but...=].ima leave it short.
i know being that i just had a really nasty break up that its hard to let go sometimes. [imagine living 3 floors down from your ex SMH] but i found relief in knowing that theres is someone out there who will treat me good. soo..i dont know if that has anythig to do with the entry cause i got off track lol..but im feeling the joe budden quote.

Tara. said...

break ups are always sticky situations because not everyone agrees on it. but once it's over i think both parties should move on; it complicates things when the people continue to act like they're dating.

Eb the Celeb said...

your feelings make you do some crazy ish... even if you dont want the other person no more.. you dont want anyone else to have them either

Mr. Jolla said...

folks hit on some good points in the comments...but I'll just slightly elaborate on Eb the Celeb's:

It doesn't take a jealous guy/girl to catch feelings when seeing that their ex has moved on. Fuck what you heard. The heart probably is still attached, and your heart knows no logic. You can tell it that are done with said individual, but if the heart isn't done loving, those feelings will be there. Your heart almost treats it like you're still with the person.

JOY said...

My only three real relationships, I had strong feelings for these men. It's funny, when my exes get a get a new girl and ESPECIALLY when I don't have another man in my life yet,deep down I'm a tad bit jealous especially when they claim they're happy, just a tad bit because its like why couldn't it work with us what is she doing that was better than me?This in turn is what causes the hate, I then think of reasons so i can rid of this jealous feeling. I say things like " oh she's wack anyway, whatever" ( to myself or my friends of course lol.)I basically just try to make up excuses to make me less jealous by making fun of the new woman.This is no good but i can't help , he used to be a part of my life now this new woman has taken over.

Although we broke up doesn't mean my feelings for him have changed.Half the time my feelings are probably still the same,strong! We just had differences that couldn't be resolved.So it's hard for me not to hate or be jealous especially when there's no man in my life and he moved on and found a woman he likes, sometimes loves.Eventually I get over it though and realize that maybe shes just better for him, me and him just couldn't work no matter how much I wanted it to.

Oh one last thing, when we do break up and he moves on to another girl right away, like way too fast! Of course I will be jealous... because how can he just get over me that fast and I'm not yet over him? you know?!Like did I not mean anything to him for him to just move on and jump on someone so quickly?!?!

Black And Single said...

whatever breakup it is . it always hurts

allison veronica said...

Breakups effin suck. I'm going through it right now and it's really difficult. I realized that we can still be friends and that's cool. I wanna know about his life and tell him about mine but I DO NOT want to hear about any other chicks. I can't handle that.

Kofi Bofah said...

I don't really get with the Friend Zone thing.

susie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
susie said...

yea, that friend stuff can be toooo complicated, its like, so do we move on or what?