Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Platonic

Me : Can male and female be close platonic friends?
Madame B: If your not physically attracted to them, in anyway
Me : So what your saying is no
Madame B: Lol yup, or if you knew them since they were really young
Me : LMAO
Madame B : So there like brother/sister
Me : So it's impossible
Madame B : Yup

Now most of you have a core crew of friends, myself as a male I have a lump sum of female friends, some I have known since my karl Kani, Tommy Hilfigers, Grant Hill days to present. Some I would never ever think of crossing the invisible line with for ample reasons ( No attraction, Weirdness or potentially ruining a good friendship). However when I first met my girlfriend she had a large number of male friends, honestly(all insecurities aside) it made me quite uneasy because there is not much to talk about with a adolescent male, because aside from the newest Jordan's, cars, fancy jeans or sex what really is on their mind? As hypocritical as this may sound, girls are way different, they can offer relationship advice amongst other things, not saying guys can't do the same but the majority of the time guys friends just want to pipe, and majority of them would bite if given the chance, whereas girls can offer a little more self restraint because they get offered PENIS a good 10-20 times daily. The offers might not be outright "so, so I want to have sex with you", it can be along the lines of " Damn your breast grew so big they look nice". With my female friends I try to keep the conversations as civil as possible i.e talking about current events, offering male perspectives on why their boo does what he does or basically just a ear to listen to and share thoughts with. I can honestly admit that some of my female friends are highly attractive and honestly I would bite if given the chance but then I think about the outcome of that situation, it would lead to uncanny awkwardness and not being able to see that person in the same light. In 11th grade, I dated my childhood female friend and it was very weird too look at her in the light of an intimate partner because this is the same girl I watched cry when I hit her too hard in hide and go seek and the same girl who watched me bust my lip at a 10 yr old Ice skating birthday party. But in all honesty I try to keep my distance in how close I let a female friend get because if too much time is spent together and emotions shared naturally an attraction can be developed and you might cross that invisible line. It's the reason you are close to your same sex friends the way you are because no sexual attraction can be developed because you are the same sex. But I would like to see what you guys/gals think about this subject.

10 comments:

JOY said...

Honestly, I have a plethora of male friends. Seriously, girls are just so shady sometimes. I also love these male friends because when I'm in a relationship they are there to provide with some advice from the male perspective and i need that.However what i can say is all of them and i mean all of them I seriously cannot think of one, have either tried to talk to me or we actually had a relationship and became friends after the fact.There's some that never tried to talk to me but I know if given the chance will " bite" simply because they told me so.

Everyday Jane Dope. said...

If i am attracted to a male and vice versa there is no way we can be friends, without there being an ulterior motive. Really, who meets an attractive girl and goes "Let me befriend her, she looks like an awesome listener"
UNLESS the scenario is exactly what you have already described. Whereby i knew dude too long for his attractiveness to count or I know his history with women in it's entirety. Male/Female "friendships" don't work, as far as i'm concerned. Now that i think about it, you and Jevon are really my only two genuinely platonic male friends. Jevon i've know since JHS and in your case, I had a little stint with your homeboy and i'm your other homeboys sister practically aka No trespassing lmao!
The point is, once physical appeal enters the equation so does... well you already know.

Anonymous said...

It all depends on the individuals as well. I have lots of male friends,one of the many is my ex boyfriend. We dated for 3 years, broke up in 2006 and still remain friends. It's strictly PLATONIC,although my significant potentials(lol) find that hard to believe,I give all the credit to him because, Im a difficult person, but due to his personality we were able to remain friends for so long.However, if the male/female friend is sending signs that he/she would like to have a "bite" then, saying your just friends is totally untrue because, some sort of chemistry is flowing from one or both person(s).

100K said...

What part of the game is this?

JK

I feel you. I have like one girl i consider my sister. We known each other for like 15 years and liked each other when we was younger. That's my heart right there.

I done messed up mad friendships by dating chicks and being pushy. It was all about me though. I can't do it. womp womp

Kofi Bofah said...

Let me total the amount of strictly platonic girl friends that I have had over 28 years (figure of speech, nobody is dating as a baby-toddler, but you get the point):

ZERO.

Well, there was that one...

Scratch that: One time she had too much to drink and started gushing over me.

Maybe I am a catch. Maybe it's my personality - I know that I am not cut out for this line of duty. I really don't care to speak much on other dudes, some handbag, or Justin Timberlake. I also won't put myself in the Zone by making a pass at a female, getting rejected, and being content with the friend role. I am Audi 5000 well before that point, buddy.

Oh yeah, well there is that one that has claimed to be a friend, refusing to fall into some 'trap' and feed my 'arrogance.'

That increases my grand total to all of One.

Cool.

Webb-the-man said...

Some of my closest friends are really attractive females. But once u are matured enough 2 value ur friendship over temporary pleasure than u can have friends without crossing the line

allison veronica said...

Men and women cannot be friends. Unless it's a sister-brother situation, there will eventually be some kind of physical attraction.

But I will admit, it's great to have a male perspective during relationship ups and downs.

Simply Sweet said...

I agree men and women can not strictly be friends, unless after the aftermath. I also have a strictly platonic friend, after the fact we had a relationship. But he is sincerely the best friend I ever had.

Gizmoton said...

I consider no female a friend. I know I am one of the few males that has no female friends.....I don't see the point.Props on ya Rick Ross game.

Che Che said...

I do think male and females can be strictly friends. I myself have a few really close homeboys who I have no such feelings for. I feel that it does go with maturity, as webb has said. Just because the person is attractive doesnt mean that in the end something will happen between the two. In most cases, you know too much about your friend to even want to be with them in that level; whereas in other cases this close friend may turn out to be your soulmate.

I personally have male friends that I can chill with anytime and even sleep in the same bed with and not have no motives. In certain situations this may be a one way street because the other person may have motives but that doesnt mean they will act out on it. Everyone has feelings deep inside and sometimes those feelings are only acted upon when at a vulnerable stage, but I fel there are plenty of people who can and will be able to have a strictly platonic friendship. But I dont think it is for everyone.