Tuesday, November 25, 2008

If I were a girl....

It's funny how every time a female singer comes out with a little song of endearment girls starts feeling like they are superwoman, not saying that they aren't but lets be serious woman have just as many flaws as men if not MORE Its funny how girls complain ALL THE TIME that there are no good men left when really each man can be a "GOOD" man if woman set it up for us to be. So I compiled a little list of things that if I were a girl I would do to ensure that my man was happy and that he would continue to be a good man.... I'm very comfortable with my sexuality, But I have to put a big no homo on this entire blog. with that out the way

1. Am I understanding enough? Can he Understand what I'm saying or I am I just rambling on about ABSOLUTELY nothing

I think most of the times girls are so happy to speak to their significant other that they just ramble on about things that have no concern on interest to us, I know as a dude my attention span is slim to none so it has to be AMAZINGLY entertaining for me to pay attention and after maybe 30 secs of you rambling I just tune it out.

2. What am I arguing about?

It seems like the female species is never happy about anything and seems to want and pick about anything. It's almost like your day isn't complete until they have a argument with us. Like oh damn my day is going so perfect but left me argue with him real quick about nothing just to complete the day :-/ Arguing is going to be apart of any relationship you should be respectful enough to love person to agree to disagree

3. Is my wow factor all together?

As a dude we all want a Bey once, Lauren London, Keyshia Cole (My personal fave) etc but the odds of the average Joe schmo bagging an exotic bad chick are slim to none. So you are left with a "good Look" shorty. A "good look" shorty is something that is not "Bad" but something your boy will see you with and be like "Who's that SON" you then reply her name and he says "That's a good look". A Good Look can turn to a SMH(Shaking my head) very fast due to the fact chicks get real comfortable when they find the man that they were looking for, meaning all that maintenance has ended. No more nails done, nice weave or even the simplest things like vickys or even a matching bra and panties are no more. Then girls wonder why the man won't take them anywhere. Girls always complain they don't want a bum or a swagger less dude. But as dudes we want the woman who we claim as our shorty to be on their a game every time we hit the streets. the wow factor can also keep a dudes eyes from wandering.

4. Is my pinky up to par?

Well first things first pinky is a Porn star(A good one too). As a dude I know I want sex a lot. Naturally our hormones are raging more than a female but girls need to understand that men we need our sexual cravings taken care of regularly. Every now and then it would be nice to come home to heels + a nice outfit from fredricks(didnt think I knew about that huh ;-)) or in the middle of the night wake your dude up and give him something to smile about for the rest of the day. Also this is so major Felatio is a GREAT I cannot stress this enough....I think it was either chris rock or Kat Williams who said this "if your over the age of 21 and your not sucking...... you should be thrown in jail and given life" Couldnt agree more its like damn is it a crime to want to please your dude. We all want a lady in the street but damn in the bed i want a porn star f a freak (LOL) Cause honestly if you gone be with someone for a lifetime you need to be able to keep them please emotionally and sexually.

5. Do I have a reason to be insecure?

This might be the most important one for the blog. I know as a dude we all have gotten caught whether it be AIM, Myspace, or Cell phone. When I say caught meaning shorty read a text message or IM from another girl only to lead to her not trusting any girl to ever speak to you again. Its like how Jodie from "baby boy" was explaining that she's so "SUSPICIOUS". Honestly if a girl took care of their man like we should be treated I honestly think we would see a decrease in cheating and creeping. Dont get me wrong not every dude is going to change and keep his penis in his pants , however the majority of us would realize what we have and appreciate it to the point we wouldnt seek the company of girl A or Girl b. I think the insecurites come from the guilt the chick feels because she know she not doing a lot of the "wow factor shit" so shes wondering in her mind what girl is taking care of him thats where the insecurity comes into play. Honestly when u go looking for something you always find it , thats why it better to just play your role and do what your supposed to do and you wont have to be insecure.

Now I know this blog will ruffle a few feathers, however it needed to be addressed. In no way am I saying guys are perfect but we have wants and needs just like you gals. depending on the feedback of this I may do a pt.2 with more insight and a little more indepth list....


Everyday Jane Dope. said...

Lmfao Jordan you had me dying! Ok fine, sometimes we argue about the air and sometimes we go on forever but you dudes are just inherent fuck ups!
Regardless of whether my wow factor is on or off, if the next chick walks by and your booty radar picks her up, off you go!
Guys can never be satisfied, ever. So what if i go looking for shit? why must I always find something!! You mentioned dudes like surprises, well so do we. For ONCE, surprise my ass! That night u go take a piss and I pick up the bberry, let me NOT see fucked up messages between you and Keisha, SURPRISE! See how easy that is?
I don't know man, i dont think men and women are compatible anymore, maybe that's why I've been so obsessed with goats lmao.
I love you tho!

Anonymous said...


JOY said...

ha ha j.o this is comedy central...i completely agree with Jane Dope above she said it perfectly...surprise us for once and actually do something right ..something we don't expect you( men) to do.

Humans are insatiable creatures....the end! No one will ever be completely happy. We always want what we do not have/cannot have so arguments will happen and cheaters will surface even if our " pinky is up to par" or we are on our "A" game.

Nonetheless," in order for a relationship to work the two individuals must both work in each others best interest" anonymous... thats indeed true.Seondly,both females AND males have to be willing to be open minded in relationships altogether sexually, emotionally, and verbally. Lastly communication is key..EFFECTIVE communication I should say such as getting straight to the dam point, because honestly my attention span is limited too.A.D.D?!

peace <3

Ashley said...

First of all cause I always love finding out what goes through guys minds. But, I think people need to TALK before they get into relationships. Get to know your soon to be lover's view on things such as cheating, sex, trust, money, etc. And see if its compatible with yours. I think some relationships go wrong because they dont do that and they end up getting in a relationship with somebody they have no business being with.

However, I dont agree with your statement "Honestly when u go looking for something you always find it , thats why it better to just play your role and do what your supposed to do and you wont have to be insecure."

1. Why do I have to find something in the first place? It seems like you need to take your own advice when you said play your role and do what you are supposed to do. Cause if Im always finding something then your the one not doing what youre supposed to be doing if your in a relationship.....good post though

Sir Doe said...

Great topic. Everything you type is basically what I, and many other men have felt at one time or another. You damn near wrote a novel, but, it's appreciated because I would've cut corners. Now I can add your portion to my entry from yesterday. lol. Glad you got people thinking and responding.


Anonymous said...

1.I guess guys never talk about things girls don't directly care about huh? But I would NEVER say, "I don't care" or even act like I don't care, because when you do that to someone, you make them feel STUPID. Nobody wants to feel stupid, so I believe you should extend the same courtesy to others that you would hope they would extend to you and sometimes, things that wouldn't normally interest you (ie-football) become interesting.

2. I personally hate arguing. I would rather be a happy go lucky person, but when someone does something and it bothers you and goes unaddressed, then you run the risk of it becomming a habit. Also, in any relationship, romantic or otherwise, you have to bite your tongue sometimes. OF COURSE. But when something occurs and you feel you are losing a piece of yourself for not speaking your mind, or are not standing up for yourself - because who else is going to really - then it needs to be addressed. I would expect a man would do this as well. The problem is, people don't always see eye to eye, so what is not a big deal to one person, may be a big deal to another. And even if you can't understand that, you should keep their feelings in mind in your future actions. If it goes entirely against your nature to do so, then there is a problem.

3. If you are embarrassed to be seen with your girl, then you shouldn't be with her. You should be proud of her. It might make you shallow, but if you won't go in public with a girl, don't be in a relationship with her. That's a tell-tale sign. Come on now. And perhaps a compliment every now and then would go a long way! Maybe showing some appreciation when she does go out of her way will get you far, which is not to say you shouldn't find her beautiful inside and out, or that you shouldn't find her beautiful UNLESS she goes out of her way. It takes a lot of effort sometimes, and not all girls place their looks above ALL else. Good luck with the girl that does, because she likely loves herself more than she loves you. Ever notice how some of the most beautiful girls are some of the most crazy and insecure girls out there?

4. Girls want sex just as much as guys, we just don't want it with ANY dude, which is not to say that all guys want it with just ANY girl, but the propensity is greater with a male. We want it with the man we love and we want it FREQUENTLY. OF COURSE there are exceptions. If not, we wouldn't have "Just Because Sluts" or promiscuous girls that are that way as a result of their past experiences (rape, abandonment issues, etc.) And guess what, there are guys out there that don't like going down on girls, so don't act like it's a one-sided issue.

5. THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR CHEATING OR CREEPING!!! If you feel the need to be with someone else, at least have the decency to break up with the person you are with beforehand. If you feel the need to be with someone else and you act upon it without breaking up with your significant other, you are either a jerk that has a good thing and still wants more, or you are willing to risk the feelings of the person you supposedly love(d). And that will mess with a person, probably for the rest of their life, so JUST DON'T DO IT!!! Don't make excuses, just don't be with a person if you do not feel you are capable of being faithful, even if it's a result of how they treat you. And regarding the "wow factor isht," let me ask you, what kind of "wow factor isht" are you to be doing as a guy? I would hate to think that is to be a one-sided "factor" based on gender.

Anonymous said...

LOL...Dope blog...

Tiffany Raye said...

I agree with alot of what your saying, however why is it the womens responsibility to do all of this .. why is it that every time something goes wrong in a relationship its the womens fault or she isnt doing something to the man .. the man needs to do some self reflection and realize what hes doing and not doing, because the women may be the one stepping out ..

100K said...

You's a muthafuckin' fool

LMAO @ the "NH" disclaimer

I agree with all this shit.

Get emmmmmmmmmm

JOFre$h said...

Hey everyone thanks for the feedback pt. 2 coming soon.

cynz destiny said...

Most guys want females to go the extra mile to keep them happy but in reality Most Guys don't do half of the stuff that we want done...so I feel that's why females complain sometimes and still end up settling for ya...even with the flaws you have...it really is communication and both people understanding that we need to be emotionally, physically, and mentally stimulated for things to work out...and if I'm looking good and u want ya manz to pay attention then u need to be the same...as females we want our friends to see our man and say "damn girl ya man is sexy" but then again I wouldn't want everyone saying that because it'll be ya friends to try and hit on ya man later on...then what?? As long as u keep yourself looking good and smellin good I'm fine...I don't need all that extra stuff...because in the end that's not making our relationship...its all the other things that count...I know plenty of sexy ass men and u think I wanna be with them in a relationship hell no...well maybe one of them lmao that's another story but that's because beauty is no skin deep...they might have the worst personality and they wouldn't do nothing to please their woman but they want u to give them filatio and cook for them...hell no....I might as well find a ugly nigga get some good head, he would cook for me and tell me how beautiful I am lol so basically it goes both ways. Men and women please give ya all when you with someone or don't expect the same back!! Signin out cynz destiny...aim

Kofi Bofah said...

Great Post. That was Real Talk. Too much real talk that I can't even get it all in to properly analyze right now.

Peep this post right here when you get a chance:

She is Just Not That Into You


Kofi Bofah said...

Are the odds of the "average Joe Schmo bagging an exotic hot chick," really "slim to none?"



I am trying to think of the times that I have seen this happen.

Somebody help me out here.

brandeee said...

hmmmm . great bLog . as long as
alL thee same stuff is being returned =D