The Battle Between Fresh Vs Jordan

Sometimes I want to fight myself, like really give myself a T.K.O, but in the end would I win or Lose? Life is better than ever right now, a lot of positives in my life, Outlook on life is better than it's ever been, However here comes the BUT, I still find myself struggling between my two sides. I believe everybody have 2 or 3 sides to them. It seems every great character fictional or not struggles with their identity Bruce Wayne, Peter Parker, Air Jordan.

Sometimes Identity is harder to mask than feelings. I often find my self in a struggle of power between Fresh and Jordan. I know some of you are think how the hell can you be in a battle between yourself. Well it's quite simple Sometimes I feel as if I'm two different characters.

J.O Fre$H : He is a Polo abusing, Sarcastic, Alcoholic, Carefree, Man Whore, selfish, Materialistic, Jerk. I'm sure theres more but I don't want to go on for sentences. J.O was a character developed in my High School years when i was a popular Jock. Jordan is my name so J.O was much cooler than Jordan and since I was a "label whore" , I was dubbed fresh if your good at equations J.O + Fresh = J.O Fre$h. Now it's a been a while since my high school days and I still find myself doing Fre$h things, Such as still shopping, being selfish, Not caring about other feelings, Extremely sarcastic and comical to the point where I hurt peoples feelings.

Jordan: Fresh and Jordan are easily Day N nite. Jordan is the kind hearted, romantic, sensitive, caring, family orientated, goal dominated, focused, Crazed sports fan, technological whiz. It amazes me How I can easily be this gentle person who can care about people and turn around and do a complete 180. Jordan is the one who will put others need ahead of his, was the one who set goals and planned for the bright future.

Now with every super hero theres a climatic point in there lives where the "other" side was forced to come out, However with myself I can't figure out what keeps bring out fresh. Like two years ago I told everyone to stop calling me "J.O" and Just Jordan, It didn't last long though. No matter what I do I can't seem to shake my J.O character. I know this may sound bugged out reading this but I like the aura that J.O brings to the table, similar to Clark Kent transforming in that phone booth. Jordan is very confident, Just that J.O has that swagger that Jordan can't seem to reach, almost like a 10.0 version of myself on Cocaine an 15 red bulls.

Now I pose this question am I just copping out as an excuse to keep Fresh around or am I forever implemented with this Fresh character for the rest of my life?